Bad Bitch Alert: Jessica Jones

So many spoilers are about to follow. Just so you know.

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“Chels, you just watched Jessica Jones? Do you even Marvel Universe, bro?”

Shut up, I know. I know! I should have been worshipping at the altar of Jessica for months and months. But the important thing is that I watched the show and I am forever indebted to its creators. Two of the baddest bitches alive just entered the (streaming) television arena: Jessica Jones and Trish Walker.

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Jessica Jones combines romance, mystery, action, and gore in a way that manages to *not* be sappy, cliché, or gross. And while I’m skeptical it passes the Bechdel test (a lot of Trish & Jess’s conversations center on the takedown of Kilgrave) it’s still packed with refreshingly feminist moments.

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MARVEL'S JESSICA JONES

 

My best friend pointed this out to me, so I won’t take credit: Jessica’s broken door. She shoves an irate client through the glass in her front door, and for the majority of the series it remains broken, a symbol that the fight for Jessica (and for women) is not just physical–it’s mental. For Jessica, who has super-strength and can take on any intruder, the threat is that Kilgrave might retake control of her mind. And, applied broadly, although physical violence is something that women are still very much in danger of, the most insidious elements of sexism are deeply imbedded in the collective psychology of our era. I mean, take my #QUEEN Hillary Clinton. Can you believe the shit people say about her? Can you believe the shit other women say about her? All human beings are flawed, but I guarantee you, if there were a male Hillary (that hadn’t already been Pres twice–I see you, Bill), Democrats would be licking his/her boots. (PS Not tryna be political, I love Bernie too! #Dem4Life)

The point here is, really, that Jessica Jones showcases badass bitches who learn fucking Krav Maga to take down serial-killing supervillains. It’s the realest.

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BUT, I will say that I am a weak, weak individual. Every Whovian that I talked to SWORE that Kilgrave would be a believable villain. But when this sociopathic, murdering rapist said “I love you” my only emotional response was “I love you too, Ten.” My David Tennant feels are too strong. I’m actually bummed that he won’t be back for season 2. Maybe we’ll get flashbacks of that sexy Scotsman.

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Season 2 can’t come soon enough. As if we didn’t love Krysten Ritter enough from Don’t Trust the B. Now she’s Marvel-legit.

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***By the way, I’m not shilling for Netflix or anything, but honestly, it’s 2016. I’d die before paying for cable. It’s cheaper to just have Hulu + & ‘flix. And Amazon Prime. What a glorious, privileged world we live in.

****All photos culled from Google searches. I take ZERO credit and give mad props to the artists/photogs that made these images.

 

xoxo, Gossip Girl

Shit, you guys.

I’m obsessed with Gossip Girl.

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How the hell did this happen? I’m 24. I never watched this show when I was in high school (it was hella popular too). These characters are *gasp* younger than me. This is my Dawson’s Creek binge of 2012 all over again.

What is it about these Upper East Side punks that is so enthralling? I’ve never even been above Midtown.

The scheming, though. And BLAIR. Blair is one of the best TV characters of all time. Fuck all the other characters because BLAIR. Dis bitch is a straight-A student. Ivy League-bound. Endlessly capable. Endures tragedy with grace. She truly is American royalty (even if being Monégasque royalty doesn’t exactly work out).

I always watch “trash TV” over school break. It’s soothing to the soul. But I never expected to fall head over heels in love with GG…and Chuck. I am an ardent feminist. It makes ZERO sense that I’m rooting for him. Crazy about him. But the allure of a powerful man is strong, and I am solidly #TeamChuck (I’m 5 seasons and 12 episodes in, so this is a tenuous stance).

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The acting is borderline terrible (save the 2 actors above). The plot lines? Convoluted and implausible. Someone please release me from this prison!

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Just kidding. You know you love it.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

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