Week Links [5 July]

Good morning! I’ve made an extremely controversial decision and started writing the date the British way, because (I capitulate) it makes more sense and is more aesthetically pleasing. This, from the same woman who changed her iPhone to 24-hour time in England and was perpetually confused for 3 weeks. Don’t worry, I’m not conceding in the aluminum vs. aluminium debate. Also, what a fuck-you thing to do on “Independence Day” weekend, innit?

Anyway, it’s been a big week for culture, so let’s get to it:

oh the cleverness of you — Adele Dazeem™ at the 92nd Academy ...

    1. The most important thing that has ever happened in my entire life happened this week, and it’s the TRILOGY of Las Culturistas “Top 200 Moments in Culture History.” It has moved me. It has shaped me. I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I gasped.
    2. Miel’s album is coming out on 22 July and we simply have to stan! Her new single, “Must Be Fine” is avail to stream on Spotify right now!
    3. The last thing I need is an excuse to drink, but I love a lemon drop.
    4. I finally got the crossbody of my dreams for a ridiculous price. Call me basic all you want, but it’s a classic MJ shape. One day I will have the finances to justify a full-price, current season, actual Marc Jacobs bag, but today is not that day. Okay okay okay, maybe I also got this one too, but literally how could I not at that price??
    5. I got this moisturizer in my Causebox and I really like it. It’s super lightweight, smells great, and has SPF 30. I also got this serum, which I haven’t tried yet, but apparently I’m supposed to be using hyaluronic acid all the time now? All of my products seem to have it. I guess 28 is old in skincare years.
    6. Currently binge-eating these lentil chips, and concerned about the subscription option…quitting wheat (based on my Everlywell results) has been a journey!
    7. Please don’t judge me for the particular retailer, but I may have gotten this case set for my new MacBook, and this ergonomic mousepad set for my work computer. Between the computer, my phone case, and my ribcage tattoo, I am way, way too on brand. Perhaps next is just blowing this print up and hanging it in my office?
    8. Love these earrings from TalkUniqueDesigns on Etsy.
    9. I read The Cactus by Sarah Haywood this week and in spite of myself, really liked it. The Eleanor Oliphant comparison is apt; they both have wildly unlikable protagonists. Like, truly, awful people you’d never want to be around. I will say, I think Susan’s about-face is a tad abrupt (I know motherhood is a moment, but like, probably try therapy instead of having a baby).
    10. We finally set up our AppleTV (and by we, I mean my husband bought it off a friend over a year ago and it sat unused in his office, until I got frustrated attempting to screen mirror with our TV on Friday and set it up), so we will be using that to watch Hamilton on Disney+ (which we have a year free trial of through our mobile provider).
    11. Speaking of D+, anyone else just counting down the minutes until Black Is King?
    12. Save Stereogum.

au revoir, les enfants

-c

It’s Like You’re Always Stuck in Second Cheers [pt. 1]

As the foremost millennial scholar and fan of the 1982-1993 sitcom Cheers and its spinoff, Frasier (1993-2004), I believe it is my sacred duty to write about them, and to air my many grievances against the shows and their glaring inconsistencies. I should clarify that I love these shows with my entire heart…it is because I care that I must criticize. This is the first installment of what I genuinely plan to turn into an academic/cultural study of Frasier, as outlined in my first ever Library School assignment.

Screw the middle classes...and Andrew Lloyd Webber
image source
    1. Frasier is a show about male familial bonding, but Frasier Crane moves 3,000 miles away from his only son to “start over.” You’d think the conceit of Frasier would be that he moved back to Seattle to take care of his father after he’s shot in the line of duty, but Marty moves in with him after he’s well established in Seattle.
    2. Frasier never mentions being from Seattle on Cheers. Also, though I don’t have the episode, I swear Norm mentions being from the Chicago area in an early episode of Cheers; in the later seasons, in one of the episodes with Kevin McHale, Norm references going to Celtics games with his father as a kid.
    3. In the pilot of Frasier, Frasier explains that just six months ago, his wife left him, and that at the time, he contemplated suicide by climbing out onto a ledge. However, in the final season of Cheers, after the infamous ledge scene, Lilith goes to live in an eco-pod with her (deranged) lover for roughly six months. When she returns, Frasier rejects her proposal that they reunite, but the show leaves open the possibility of reconciliation. Frasier begins after all of these events, the divorce with Lilith being finalized, Frasier moving to Seattle, setting up a residence, and establishing a new career in radio. The timeline just doesn’t add up, sorry!
    4. To that point, on Frasier, Frasier often refers to Lilith with contempt, which is unfounded; even during their separation after her infidelity, he always regards her with respect and admiration. In fact, on Cheers, Frasier and Lilith are perhaps one of the all-time best TV couples; the circumstance of their divorce and animosity are creations simply to justify the premise of Frasier.
    5. We meet Frasier’s mother, Hester, in season three, episode 8 of Cheers, yet Frasier makes several references throughout the series to both his parents being dead. Then the spinoff, Frasier, centers around his relationship with his heretofore dead father, Martin. (The explanation in The Show Where Sam Shows Up is so weak it’s nauseating; later, when Woody resurfaces on Frasier, he casually mentions having heard of Martin. Why would Woody know more about Frasier’s family history than Sam, his closest friend?) Also, Niles is never mentioned in Cheers; the only characters on Cheers with confirmed siblings that we meet are Sam, Carla, and Rebecca.
    6. Furthermore, on Cheers, Frasier’s mother literally threatens to murder Diane with a gun, but in season five of Frasier, Marty Crane extolls his late wife’s gentle nature. Hester, played in flashbacks by Rita Wilson, is the picture of domesticity, which contradicts her insane behavior on Cheers, as well as the established fact that she was a serious research scientist, much like Lilith.
    7. In season one of Cheers, it is established that Sam Malone had been married prior to the show beginning. We even meet his ex-wife in season 1, episode 2. But shortly thereafter, any and all mention of this is dropped, and his character is portrayed as a lifelong bachelor.
    8. Frasier’s first wife, Nanette, is played, in order of appearance, by Emma Thompson, Dina Waters, and Laurie Metcalf. Recasting is normal (I mean, Emma Thompson was busy), but did they think the audience wouldn’t notice her no longer being British?
    9. Eddie the dog is played by two different dogs: the original, and his actual biological son. Again, this is normal—how long do dogs realistically live? But Eddie looks younger in the later seasons than he does in the earlier seasons, and seems to be utilized less and less as the series progresses. Wasted potential, as Eddie was obviously the glue holding the Cranes together (and this, coming from someone unfriendly to the canine species!)
    10. And finally: how dare these shows pretend like Bebe Neuwirth isn’t hot? Her mere presence could melt Carbon. Bebe Neuwirth is so attractive that a friend of ours (who shall remain nameless) famously asked my husband “Have you had yourself to Lilith yet?” A fox of the stone cold variety. Please put some respect on Emmy and Tony-winner Bebe Neuwirth.
    11. Bonus grievance: as a proud (?) Bostonian, NARY a cast member of Cheers had a half-way decent Boston accent, except for my beloved Coach (RIP), a Rhody native.

Next time, we tackle Niles, to whom I feel a potent sexual attraction. What does that say about me as a person? Tune in next week.

Niles Crane being shocked. | Funny shows, Movie tv, Barney miller

A Very Special Quarantine

I’ve made no secret of my obsession with stand-up comedy. Both of my favorite stand-up podcasts have ended their runs (Put Your Hands Together and 2 Dope Queens), so I’ve been bingeing specials just to feel whole again. And what better time to immerse yourself than during a quarantine? I live in a state that is sort of opening up, and has a decent-ish handle on COVID, but I’m not taking any chances. Imagine if I died to go out to, like, Bertucci’s. Or worse, imagine if I went out, got asymptomic COVID, and infected someone else! The level of selfishness of my fellow man never ceases to amaze. All of which is to say, wear a fucking mask, take what precautions you can, and find things to do at home. Might I suggest…watching these? For your pleasure, a list of the specials I’ve watched since stay-at-home orders went into effect. There will be more.

*these are all on Netflix unless otherwise listed

Amazon.com: Watch Gary Gulman: The Great Depresh | Prime Video
image source

Taylor Tomlinson, Quarter Life Crisis

Fortune Feimster, Sweet & Salty

Pete Davidson, Alive From New York

Alice Wetterlund, My Mama is a Human and So Am I (Amazon)

Michelle Wolf, Joke Show

Gary Gulman, The Great Depresh [x2] (HBO)

Hannah Gadsby, Douglas

Seth Meyers, Lobby Baby

Marc Maron, End Times Fun [x2]

Joe Mande, Joe Mande’s Award-Winning Comedy Show

Jenny Slate, Stage Fright

Trevor Noah, Son of Patricia

Patton Oswalt, I Love Everything

W. Kamau Bell, Private School Negro

Eric Andre, Legalize Everything

Whitmer Thomas, The Golden One (HBO)

Ronny Chieng, Asian Comedy Destroys America!

Simon Amstell, Set Free

Donald Glover, Weirdo

Judah Friedlander, America is the Greatest Country in the United States

Every Hat Frank Rossitano Wears on 30 Rock

Let me blow your mind grapes.

Does this list already exist on the internet? Maybe it does! Who cares! The last time my husband and I watched 30 Rock, I literally kept a pen and notebook in the living room and recorded each one, because I care. Tag yourself—I’m (blank-budget cuts).

Ranking Every Hat Frank Rossitano Wears On "30 Rock"
image source
  1. Ninja Expert, s1e1
  2. Done Deal, s1e2
  3. Extra Sausage, s1e3
  4. Joystick Master, s1e3
  5. Double Cheese, s1e3
  6. Arcade Champ, s1e4
  7. Bigfoot Expert, s1e4
  8. Hand Held, s1e5
  9. Over Easy, s1e8
  10. ESP Tutor, s1e8
  11. Kung Fu Beech, s1e8
  12. Rods, s1e9
  13. Karate Sluts, s1e10
  14. Beef N Beans, s1e10
  15. Smells, s1e11
  16. High Score, s1e12
  17. Extra Cheese, s1e13
  18. 1,000,000 Points, s1e14
  19. UFO Cop, s1e14
  20. Time Travel Agent, s1e16
  21. Liz Rocks, s1e17
  22. Mashed Potatoes, s1e18
  23. Beef Ravioli, s1e18
  24. Atomic Super Kick, s1e18
  25. Mystery Solver, s1e19
  26. Bahama Trapezoid, s1e19
  27. Alabama Legsweep, s1e20
  28. Alien Knight Force, s1e21
  29. Coin-Operated, s2e1
  30. Kill Screen, s2e1
  31. Ready, s2e2
  32. Field Hockey Coach, s2e4
  33. Balls, s2e4
  34. AND, s2e5
  35. LIPS, s2e5
  36. Half Centaur, s2e5
  37. Karate Prom, e2e6
  38. Olé, s2e7
  39. Right Boot, s2e7
  40. Got It, s2e7
  41. Handy Man, s2e7
  42. Beef, s2e7
  43. Burrito, s2e7
  44. Power Tool, s2e7
  45. Atlantis Lifeguard, s2e8
  46. Harvard, s2e8
  47. (Toofer) Mom Expert, s2e8
  48. KayFabe, s2e8
  49. Shower Scene, s2e9
  50. Ho Ho Horny, s2e9
  51. OR, s2e11
  52. Exactly, s2e12
  53. Trap Do r, s2e13
  54. Rescue Team, s2e13
  55. Spelling Expirt, s2e14
  56. Sumo Dog, s2e14
  57. Slo-Bot, s2e15
  58. Former Cyclops, s3e1
  59. Horny, s3e1
  60. Alien Abductee, s3e2
  61. Role Model, s3e4
  62. Foley Artist, s3e6
  63. Bronx Golf Club, s3e6
  64. Night Chicks, s3e6
  65. Pinball Mechanic, s3e9
  66. Phase 3, s3e9
  67. Feelin’ It, s3e9
  68. illegible, s3e10
  69. Emotional Friend, s3e11
  70. INCOMPL TE, s3e12
  71. Two Fare Zone, s3e12
  72. Reverse Pendulum, s3e13
  73. Drapes, s3e14
  74. Laser Disc, s3e15
  75. Game Changer, s3e16
  76. (blank-budget cuts), s3e17
  77. Constant Craving, s3e18
  78. Space Gravy, s3e19
  79. Flowers, s3e19
  80. Fedora, s3e19
  81. Crop Octagon, s3e20
  82. Drapes Carpet, s3e20
  83. Mute Button, s3e21
  84. Disco Fries, s4e1
  85. Long Pips, s4e1
  86. Spaceship Owner, s4e2
  87. Not Guilty, s4e2
  88. Wet to Activate, s4e3
  89. Costume, s4e3
  90. See Miller Grip, s4e3
  91. Because, s4e4
  92. Scanner, s4e4
  93. Scrawkcab (?), s4e5
  94. Shark Cop, s4e5
  95. First Class, s4e5
  96. Teenage Grandpa, s4e7
  97. PG-25, s4e8
  98. I’m Cool, s4e8
  99. illegible, s4e9
  100. I Tried, s4e9
  101. Karate Hockey, s4e10
  102. In Training, s4e10
  103. Wide and Tight, s4e11
  104. Delete, s4e11
  105. Night Beast, s4e11
  106. Mason Storm, s4e12
  107. Mind The Gap, s4e12
  108. Pound for Pound, s4e12
  109. Busway, s4e12
  110. Dial-Up Access, s4e13
  111. Intestinal Fortitude, s4e13
  112. Under the Bottom, s4e15
  113. All The Way, s4e15
  114. Sort of Loaded, s4e16
  115. Free Parking, s4e16
  116. Tow Away Zone, s4e16
  117. Monster Truck Wrestling, s4e17
  118. Last Shot First, s4e17
  119. Defcon 50, s4e17
  120. Feet, s4e18
  121. TBD, s4e18
  122. Good Pieces, s4e20
  123. Touch Down, s4e20
  124. Pocket Dialer, s4e21
  125. Why., s5e1
  126. Bottom Feeder, s5e1
  127. Long and Twisted, s5e2
  128. I Did It, s5e3
  129. Promotional Consideration, s3e4
  130. Full Tank, s5e8
  131. Speed Glue, s5e8
  132. Cream Sauce, s5e8
  133. Dream Reader, s5e11
  134. Cheese Gravy, s5e12
  135. 1 Card Monte, s5e12
  136. Man Scent, s5e12
  137. Straining Order, s5e13
  138. Wet Tacos, s5e14
  139. Regional Dis-Honor Society, s5e15
  140. Snake Biter, s5e15
  141. Code Breaker, s5e16
  142. Deli Meat, s5e17
  143. Dot Matrix, s5e17
  144. Food Coma, s5e18
  145. Tandem Alert, s5e18
  146. Plumber College, s5e19
  147. Busy Signal, s5e19
  148. Sitting Ovations, s5e20
  149. I Give Up, s5e20
  150. Nap Partner, s5e21
  151. Casual Flosser, s5e21
  152. Van With Man, s5e22
  153. Closet Amish, s6e1
  154. Volunteer Pilot, s6e2&3
  155. Peaked, s6e4
  156. Vacant, s6e4
  157. Partial Foods, s6e4
  158. Flip Phone Owner, s6e5
  159. Jobber, s6e5
  160. Tornadic, s6e5
  161. Feet, s6e6
  162. Thick, s6e8
  163. Cryptid, s6e9
  164. Be Cool Liz, s6e9
  165. Suplex, s6e9
  166. Dorm Food, s6e10
  167. VHS Repairer, s6e13
  168. Emotion Illiterate, s6e14
  169. Butler School, s6e15
  170. Click Here, s6e15
  171. Maintenance Required, s6e15
  172. Low Oil, s6e15
  173. Bad Ranch, s6e17
  174. Average Voltage, s6e17
  175. Frank 2.0, s6e17
  176. Hookie Mentor, s6e19
  177. Push For Cheese, s6e20
  178. Cured, s6e20
  179. Brain Masala, s7e1
  180. Free Zits, s7e2
  181. Punch Ball, s7e2
  182. Ammnesia, s7e3
  183. Freshly Bathed, s7e3
  184. Semi-Legal, s7e4
  185. Lice Owner, s7e4
  186. 1st Time Flosser, s7e5
  187. Letters, s7e6
  188. Going Stron, s7e7
  189. Cheese Soup, s7e8
  190. Inappropriate, s7e8
  191. Hug Stain, s7e10
  192. Panic Dream, s7e11
  193. Untitled, s7e11
  194. Taco Robot, s7e12
  195. Period, s7e12

 

 

Week Links [6.28.20 or so]

Good day, sunshines! This is only…three days late. That’s fine! And I’ve changed the name of this again because I can’t commit to anything! How I didn’t think of this extremely basic pun in the past 5 years is beyond me. And on that note, I’ve been writing this blog for five years. My how time flies when the world is falling apart.

You Need To Be Watching 'The Bold Type' | The Nerd Daily
image source
  1. I started bingeing The Bold Type recently and *very Joan Jett voice* I hate myself for loving it!!
  2. Just discovered this ethical jewelry brand out of Portland. So affordable and stylish! I love these for my 2nd piercing and these are incredible. I’m also just a big ol’ sucker for a hammered hoop! Also, this might sound crazy but I think I’m going to become an anklet person?? I just got this one and I love it.
  3. I almost bought these Pride Pumas because I’m predictable.
  4. Ziwe Fumudoh has been doing the most iconic Instagram lives and watching the reposts is one of my singular sources of joy in this terrible world!
  5. I’ve long wanted to become a headband person, but I have impossible hair and wear glasses, so things about the ears can be a bit tricky. This Madewell scarf/band is a DREAM. It actually stays in place and is so, so cute.
  6. This TED Talk was assigned for my Library Science course, and man do I love me some Adichie.
  7. Ronny Chieng’s special Asian Comedian Destroys America! is incredible start-to-finish.
  8. This brand sells bra bundles that are super affordable, but I’m so skeptical that a comfortable strapless bra can exist! At least not with my difficult boobs.
  9. My faves at Girlfriend just dropped the Summer Orchard line, so I got myself a full Lemon set: Paloma Bra, Skort, and High-Rise Bike Short.
  10. Cynthia Nixon posted this to Instagram and…I didn’t think it was possible to love her more.
  11. Psst…have you read my friend Rachel’s writing? She writes about TV so much more intelligently than I do, it’s a treat.

In case you didn’t know, I have an Instagram account for this blog, @dellabitesblog. I wrote a little something about the five-year anniversary of this blog there. You can also following me personally on all socials @highwaytochel / IG.

Sunday Scaries: Father’s Day, I Guess?

Morning! From the title, it may seem like I’m ambivalent about my father (hardly the case), but I am deeply ambivalent about “Hallmark holidays,” because I am a joyless person. Mother’s/Father’s Day just feels like a marketing scheme for bougie brunch places, my favorite of all the places that I’d prefer not be clogged with toddlers while I’m trying to enjoy my mimosa. See? Joyless! And now I’ve made myself crave a mimosa, though I have neither orange juice nor sparkling wine. Chardonnay and lemonade? Y/N? (I’m writing this on Saturday morning, so it’s not out of the question that I may nip off to the store.)

Speaking of the store, I still haven’t returned to grocery shopping, but I plan to resume in the very near future. I have gone to Target briefly a couple of times. I hate wearing the mask—it gives me so much anxiety and for some reason, I clench my jaw really tightly underneath. Is that a thing? But obviously, as I’m not a MORON WHO DOESN’T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, I rock a mask 100% of the time I’m out in public. Which brings me to my next gripe:

People BE going to restaurants with outdoor seating and not wearing masks! What the actual hell? I have been isolated in my house for 100 days! Do you know how emotionally difficult that is for someone with depression? I’m simultaneously living my best and worst lives, missing my friends and family, for what? So that a few absolute knobs can cause a spike in infections that keeps us home until I’m in my mid-thirties? Absolutely not! I haven’t been able to get my teeth cleaned or my glasses prescription updated, but you can have fried clams overlooking the beach? Please eject yourselves into the sea.

Have I complained sufficiently? Haha, it feels good to be back on this, my public private place to talk to myself.

Screen Shot 2020-06-20 at 12.55.34 PM
source: printsandgiggles on etsy
  1. This piece about self-love by Aisha Mirza is really moving.
  2. Eric Andre’s new special drops Tuesday and I couldn’t be more excited. If you want a teaser, check him out on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes.
  3. This leather goods shop on Etsy is magical. Please give me one of everything, and please do not lecture me about the ethics of leather.
  4. I might actually die without a pair of hammered hoops from The Pink Locket!
  5. I found SPF 110, baby! I didn’t even know they made SPF higher than 100, but I was rewarded for my diligence! The sun can actually try to burn me! I’m using this face sunscreen, this body sunscreen, and this SPF 50 daily moisturizer.
  6. Speaking of my delicate skin, unable as it is to produce melanin, I have given myself over to the gods of Curology. A friend recommended it to me, as my prior attempts at skincare consisted of occasionally using an oil cleanser and forgetting to take my eye makeup off at night. It’s only been three days, so I’m not seeing a visible difference, but my skin feels really soft and I’ve actually started to maintain a nightly skincare ritual, which is a small miracle.
  7. Speaking of custom products designed specifically for me, I also caved and ordered Prose. I heat process my hair twice a week (or so) to varying degrees, I dye it, and my hair is naturally very curly and dry, so I’m giving actually taking care of it a go. I went all in and ordered the oil too, because why not? I truly can’t believe it took until I started going gray for me to actually give a shit about taking care of my hair, but there’s no sense in dwelling on the past.
  8. I have tentatively begun home workouts. I have a legitimate phobia of exercise or movement generally (I legitimately talk about this in therapy, it’s a long story). I have sobbed in gym parking lots, unable to walk in. I successfully completed this video without having a panic attack, so I’m going to see what else Miss Adriene has to offer. I’d really like to check out some body-positive yogis, so plz lemme know whomst to Google. I’m not averse to a paywall!
  9. Gonna have to purchase that one.
  10. Even though it’s 14,000 degrees out, I was in the mood for a really big Cab the other day, so I tried out Bread & Butter‘s. When I drink reds, I tend to like them less bold, like Pinot Noirs, but I began my wine journey as a Cab girl and I’ve gotta honor my roots! Also, we’re chilling our red wines, right? The hill I will die on is that we all drink whites too cold and reds way too warm.
  11. We finally bought *actually good* Bluetooth speakers and it has been a game changer. We got this one for me (super portable!) and this one for our house. In addition to awesome sound quality, they’re such fun pops of color against our mostly black-and-white decor. And big bonus, they have a “party mode,” so you can play music from both of them at the same time. Surround-sound!
  12. I’ve been on something of a health journey lately; without going into too much detail, I’m trying to be more mindful about food and making sure I’m actually nourished. I customized a May Designs notebook to keep track of my meals, water intake, and, yes, exercise. It’s super cute, and I feel like it will be something I keep reordering.
  13. And of course, last but not least, a tribute to all the dads out there.

BLACK LIVES MATTER

Subtitle: White Guilt, White Fragility

Alt. Subtitle: I wrote about my feelings because of course I did

I started a post a few weeks ago that I wanted to be a long, comprehensive guide to anti-racist activism. I wanted to signal boost the work of Black and marginalized creators. I had big dreams! I kept the title of the post, because when I look back at my own body of work/internet footprint, I want it to reflect what I actually stand for. Here’s how that post started:

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to announce as loud as we possibly fucking can that BLACK LIVES MATTER and ACAB. And in the spirit of these two tenets that guide my beliefs/value system, let us proceed with an (incomplete) list of things you can actually do from home to make a difference re: the current news cycle.

      1. I mean, we’ve known J.K. Rowling was a TERF, but she’s such a bigoted TERF that she managed to distract from worldwide protests for racial justice with a few tweets. She retweeted this article! I couldn’t even make it past the first couple of paragraphs because it was so dumb and hateful! To insinuate that lesbians are the most marginalized letter in the queer initialism is simply too much to bear, especially considering that Black trans women are NOTORIOUSLY the most targeted demographic on this earth. We are *literally* in the middle of a civil rights movement about abolishing the oppressive forces that allow for the unchecked murder of Black folks, particularly Black trans folks. I’m not saying it’s easy to be queer—every demographic in the LGBTQIA+ community experiences undue pain and burden because we live in a society that is still evolving, but my god, a straight cis-woman callously using lesbians to spout anti-trans hate speech? Retire, bitch.
        1. Donate to The Okra Project, which has two mental health recovery funds specifically for Black trans women and Black trans men.
        2. This article has a super thorough list of ways to support Black trans people right now, from signing petitions to donations.
        3. Remember to unfollow anyone who posts hate speech and to use your dollar wisely. Don’t support or buy from any person or institution that is anti-Black or anti-trans.
      2. Well, the Lindsey Graham stuff was going to come out eventually (pun not intended). I will never be able to see a ladybug again without throwing up, and if you don’t know what I mean, please don’t Google it and traumatize yourself. I’ve curated an internet experience for myself in which I actually didn’t see any overtly homophobic jokes about him; I just saw the reactions, from which two very important themes emerged: a. Most homophobes are straight and b. No one should be outed…unless they’ve devoted their career to enacting policies harmful to the LGBTQ community, in which case, fuck them and their hypocritical bullshit. Him being gay is not the butt of the joke, and internalized homophobia is real, but Lindsey Graham is a piece of human garbage who deserves to be removed from office. Click here to donate to his opponent, Jaime Harrison. I don’t know that much about him beyond the Issues section of his site (not exactly a leftist, is he?), but he would be a vast improvement for South Carolina and we need more people of color in Congress.

Pretty well-intentioned, right? I mean, I guess. But in my haste to address the issues of the day, I think it bears noting that my first two points, while both containing links to donate to causes that help Black folks, are still ostensibly about white people. In all the internet chatter, what stood out most to me were queer issues centering white people. Issues that pertain more immediately to my identity and concerns. That’s not allyship. Yes, I’d been donating, retweeting, posting 20 Instagram stories a day with links to anti-racist resources, but I was still thinking about myself. So I took some time to listen and reflect on what I could do that would actually effect change. And none of that is going to take place here. It’s going to take place in Boston at protests. It’s going to take place at really awkward family dinners where I have to explain that there aren’t, in fact, “lots of good cops.” I can’t participate in blatant slacktivism and give myself a pat on the back because I posted a link to a change.org petition.

This is a dumb blog that no one reads that I created when I was 23 and wanted to be Alison Roman, or whomever the Alison Roman was five years ago I chose the name “Della Bites” because it was supposed to be a recipe blog. My cat’s name is Della, and “della” means “of the” in Italian…it was a poor attempt at a pun, and I committed really hard by buying the domain. It evolved into a place where I just share things that I like, be they leopard-print peacoats or esoteric Netflix comedies. So while the real work has to happen off-line, what I can do here is make a more conscious effort to boost Black-owned businesses and support Black and Indigenous creators, artists, and activists. Black Americans make up roughly 15% of the population; it stands to reason that 15% or more of everything that I share or talk about should reflect that. I already have a ton of guilt about the capitalist “window-shopping” aspect of this blog, which conflicts with my increasingly communist-leaning values; by sharing content from primarily white creators, I’m a participant in white supremacy. There’s no getting around that.

So, ultimately, fuck our good intentions. They’re not good enough. Actions speak louder than words, and no amount of my white self-aggrandisement will stop police from killing Black Americans unchecked, corporations (and the Supreme Fucking Court) from bulldozing sacred territory for pipelines, or the Earth from careening into the sun. When you scroll through Instagram, do you mostly see white faces? When you shop online, are all the models thin and white? If that’s been your normal for your entire life (*raises hand*), you don’t even notice it until you start looking. The first step of actually doing something is by looking in the mirror and taking accountability for your own racism (and not by doing a black-and-white front-facing celebrity video).

I vow to do better in my private and public lives. And if I fail, I want my white friends to call me out, because the onus is not on people of color to make sure white folks are doing the work. Change is already in the air—it’s palpable. We’re living through a Civil Rights Movement, and as bleak as things seem right now, I’ve never felt more hopeful and energized to participate. So things around here (and on my socials, etc) are going back to “business as usual,” but I want that to reflect a new “usual” or normal.” I worry that even this post is taking space away from folks whose voices we need to hear more than mine, but you gotta write what you know.

Cheers,

c

Sunday Scaries [5.31.20]

Good morning…I guess?

Things are awful right now. Things have always been awful, but they’ve reached a boiling point. I’m delusional optimistic enough to dream about a future where we can abolish the police and put an stop to the seemingly endless murders of black Americans, but it’s not incumbent upon those same black folks whose lives are at risk to fix it. It’s on us—the people with the privilege to walk through life in relative safety. If you have the means this week, please donate to the Minnesota Freedom Fund in support of the protesters. I know that this small act made me feel slightly less helpless in the face of tragedy. It is, by definition, the least I could do. I stand in solidarity with the protesters across the nation and will use my voice and my wallet whenever possible to aid in the fight.

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image source: @arianagrande on instagram

Ariana Grande posted the above image on Friday, a list of the names of a fraction of the black lives that have been lost just in recent memory. I have spent so much of the past week crying and thinking of them, and thinking of all of the people who, as a result of police brutality, live in constant fear. I can’t believe not murdering people on the basis of race is a political statement rather than a universal moral belief.

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burlington, vt

*This post was written (and purchases made) prior to the murder of George Floyd by white supremacist police officer Derek Chauvin, which I feel bears noting because thinking about anything other than how to make change right now feels frivolous. Posting on social media is NOT the same thing as activism, but using a social platform and not discussing this feels wildly tone-deaf. This pointless little blog has always been a place where I can vent about things ranging from laughably stupid to deadly serious, and I’m so lucky to have a space to do so. I will never take this freedom for granted.

    1. Bookshop posted a list of anti-racist reading material and I can’t wait to check out some of these titles.
    2. I have officially gone insane and reorganized my refrigerator no fewer than 5 times during quarantine. The Home Edit dropped their fridge & freezer line last week, so you KNOW I snagged some drawers. I was literally inside my fridge with a measuring tape–should I seek treatment?
    3. Just started listening to Jessica Simpson’s Open Book and I started crying halfway through the prologue. I was never a huge JS fan, but I love memoirs and I’m so inspired by her bravery in telling her story. Even within the opening pages, she confronts so many issues that a lot of women never feel empowered enough to admit to or talk about. I’m listening via the Libby app; I cannot stress enough how important it is to support libraries.
    4. I am exclusively wearing t-shirt dresses these days. I used to love this dress, but I’m still not sure that we can support Everlane again, so I bought this one to try out.
    5. I keep seeing these as a promoted ad, and I definitely won’t get one for a while since outside is cancelled, but it seems like a great idea for when society reopens. Perfect for travel!
    6. I bought these for my bedroom and I could not be more pleased with the purchase.
    7. I caved and got a new laptop. Mine has been faithfully serving me for over 7 years, and it was just time. I justified the purchase because I’m going to start taking classes again (apparently one Master’s degree wasn’t enough…) although the *second* I completed the purchase of the new computer, my current one miraculously started functioning well again…Apple is Big Brother.
    8. Pretty sure I need to stop being suckered in by celebrity home goods lines, but these bowls are the best things I own and I want to eat dinner out of them every night.
    9. After decades of playing editions from the 1980s, I finally upgraded to a new Trivial Pursuit. I did win the first game by a hair, if you’re wondering.
    10. All of my song challenge playlists are done. End of an era.
      1. challenge 1: songs
      2. challenge 2: more songs
      3. challenge 3: even more songs
    11. Bonus Content: Punch Up the Jam did an episode about the greatest song of all time.

Rest in Power, and here’s hoping that by this time next week, we see some fucking justice.

-c

 

Sunday Scaries [5.24.20]

We did it! Another week of social distancing down! And now it’s a long weekend! I may even attempt to venture outdoors, although I’m basically a moleperson at this point, so I’ll have to bring sunscreen & shades.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I have a sourdough starter and it was finally ready to use this weekend! I made 2 loaves of sourdough, although the first loaf is not as aesthetically pleasing as the second…

xx

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  1. There is, and I cannot stress this enough, a website with transcripts of every episode of Frasier.
  2. Gonna join Book of the Month because I’m a huge nerd!
  3. Speaking of which, my best friend and I are starting our own FaceTime book club and our first pick is Kindred by Octavia Butler. It’s…incredible.
  4. Also speaking of books, my friend wrote her thesis on Motherwit by Onnie Lee Logan and it’s only $4.99 on Kindle right now. I can’t wait to read it!
  5. I am SO OVER shaving. I just want every follicle on my body to die! I am truly about to spend my life savings on laser removal.
  6. I got a subscription to Causebox because I had a code, okay????
  7. I started whitening my teeth because of course I did. My dark teeth have always been a huge insecurity of mine, and it certainly doesn’t help that I’m a coffee and wine drinker. I’m using this treatment system, this pen, and this polish. Here’s hoping I don’t destroy my enamel! I’m definitely starting to see results!
  8. I’ve been doing these Instagram song challenges, and they have brought SO much joy to my life! This is my first one, my second & third which are in progress, and a spinoff playlist that I had to make because there are too many iconic songs from 1991!
  9. This pasta recipe is legendary! Or as John Legend would say, magical!
  10. This site seems very cool for minimalist jewelry.
  11. The grill pan I wanted came back in stock finally!
  12. I’m making this cinnamon roll recipe right now and I’m so excited to eat them.

 

 

Sunday Scaries [5.10.20]

Bonjour! Another week of social isolation! The Starbucks near me just reopened, so I’ve gone two days in a row…the small creature comforts keep me sane. Apart from that, it’s been business as usual. I’m trying to go easy on myself. We’re all dealing with immense trauma & grief right now, so if you need to get drunk, or send a booty pic, or reorganize your cabinets again, please don’t judge yourself. If you’re alive and healthy, you’re doing great, and I love you.

Little Richard, The 'King And Queen' Of Rock And Roll, Dead At 87 ...
we stan a king/queen! image source
  1. The Alison Roman drama SUSTAINS me.
  2. This shop on Etsy is selling 3-packs of cotton masks in adorable prints. It’s a buy 3/donate 3 situation. I got these ones. I’m still having a hard time with masks, if I’m being honest. Of course I wear one on the rare occasion I go out, but the feeling that my breathing is being stifled gives me horrible anxiety. Anyone else dealing with this?
  3. This set of food storage containers is amazing and actually just as good as the one from The Container Store. I bought two sets and then some extra minis. My cabinets will get perfect or die trying.
  4. The Court Skort sold out before I had a chance to snag one (you snooze, you lose) and I’m mad! Same for the Bike Unitard, which I need someone to convince me I don’t need. This remains in my cart…
  5. It’s irrational how much I want one of these, considering I have like a dozen reusable water bottles.
  6. I finally bought the weighted sleep mask! I will conquer my insomnia one of these days.
  7. I need a pair of these earrings. I’ll take literally any pair.
  8. Super into Wild Minimalist‘s entire aesthetic! This article about recycling missteps is really helpful.
  9. Support local businesses during this trying time 🙂
  10. And finally, rest in peace, Little Richard.
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please enjoy this terribly-cropped screenshot of The Truth

Until next time,

-c