Category: Recipes

#cheflife

Week Links [July 24]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

I’m 24 weeks pregnant today, on the 24th! I feel like stuff like that never happens (or at least, not since I turned 19 on the 19th of August, 11 years ago). 24 weeks is a big milestone, since the babies are now considered viable (meaning that if something were to go horribly awry and they needed to be born now, they’d likely survive). That sounds kind of bleak, but it’s actually really comforting to me! For the first time in 6 months, I’m fairly confident that my little cantaloupes are going to be a-okay.

I’m also turning 30 in a few weeks and I’m actually really excited! I’m kind of amazed I even made it through my twenties. In a few months, my life will be unrecognizable. It’s a nice parallel—I was born in 1991 and my kids will be born in 2021, as my life enters a new stage.

  1. Bowen Thee Yang has been nominated for an Emmy. The first featured player on SNL to ever be nominated. Bowen must be genuinely exhausted by all the history he has made at this point. I genuinely love every single actor who is nominated in his category (including Paul Reiser, though I have never seen The Kominsky Method), so however the voting goes, I’ll be happy. Bowen has been a shining light in my life for years and I love to see him get his flowers.
  2. Ted Lasso season 2 premiered yesterday and my body is ready. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve fallen so head-over-heels for a new show. And to think I almost cancelled AppleTV+ right before I discovered it.
  3. In honor of Ted Lasso, I will have to bake the biscuits.
  4. These pink glitter Christian Cowan collab Tevas might be simultaneously the stupidest and best thing I’ve ever spent money on.
  5. I’ve been reading (and loving) Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters.
  6. Madewell now has a Preloved shop! I knew they had a jean recycling program, but this is next-level. I’ll definitely be ordering (and then recycling) some maternity jeans because buying those new is expensive. I’ve kind of outgrown the Madewell aesthetic (there just isn’t a boho bone in my body, and boxy cuts don’t suit me), but I maintain that they have the best jeans in the game and I had missed wearing them!
  7. My husband and I started watching McCartney 3,2,1 on Hulu last night and it’s better than I could have imagined. It’s like it was tailor-made for my exact interests. I was thrilled to find out that “Michelle” was partially inspired by Edith Piaf’s “Milord,” one of my favorites! (La vie en rose came out while I was in high school, so I went through a big Little Sparrow phase).
  8. On the subject of McCartney (my favorite subject!) Linda McCartney’s Family Kitchen has not disappointed. I’ve been eating some meat because it’s calorie and protein-dense which is important during pregnancy, but I am feeling the pull back towards plant-based living. It’s just what makes the most sense for me and my family, but you do you!
  9. Never Have I Ever season 2 is out! I absolutely love this show, which speaks to my eternal love for Mindy Kaling, since media about young people rarely interests me (ironic, considering I am currently manufacturing two young people). I Googled it and the actor who plays Paxton Hall-Yoshida is a few months older than I am (30) so it’s okay to think he’s ridiculously cute.
  10. Bought these chairs for my dining table. We currently have a pub-height table with 2 stools that won’t work for us once the babies arrive. I’m going to pair them with a cheap-ish Ikea table and upgrade once we don’t have little Tasmanian Devils running around our house. I mentioned Detransition, Baby earlier, and there’s a moving passage about how once women enter their 30s, dining sets become very important to them…I’m sure it was a condemnation of sorts, but I deeply related to it.
  11. Lately I can’t stop listening to The Kinks. I wonder if it has anything to do with the name we picked for our daughter…

Week Links [30 May]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning! I have barely left the house in ages since I’m pregnant and only half-vaxxed (I had to wait until the second trimester), so I don’t have much to report, but here’s what little I can recommend at the moment.

  1. This sandwich looks so damn good.
  2. It’s official. This is the cutest Apple Watch band on earth.
  3. Just bought this rocking chair for my nursery. It’s the perfect mix of firm and comfortable, and super deep. It’s a more subdued color in person, and it’s chenille!
  4. I’m bingeing Gilmore Girls for the first time in about five years and it’s like reliving my own memories. Forever my favorite show.
  5. How cute is this candle shop?
  6. Finally caved and bought this water bottle. The one thing I didn’t consider was that it has a greater capacity than my Soma filter, so filling it is an enormous production. (I ended up solving this by picking a water dispenser up from the Container Store).
  7. Treated myself to this cutie after a very long purse-buying hiatus.
  8. This deodorant is so good. It’s still a natural deodorant, so it’s not magic, but it really holds up, even in hot weather. I got mine at Ulta.
  9. Even though I have only recently joined the motherhood club, I’ve been A Mom for a while, as evidenced by my excitement over this gadget.
  10. Loving The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, but I have to admit, I have an overwhelming urge to say, “I’m lookin’ for my sister, Stella” in a Marge Simpson voice.
  11. Pretty much none of my bathing suit tops fit me now that I have pregnancy boobs (which, for me, is still nothing to write home about), so I’m trawling the J. Crew sale for something with some structure that can accommodate the new additions.
  12. My husband and I have been watching The Nanny on HBO Max and apart from the obvious things about it that haven’t held up over the past 30 years, it is a near perfect show. Sylvia Fine is my idol.

Week Links [15 April]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

This has been sitting in my drafts for at least a month, so good on me for being so topical and relevant! I’ll write something meaningful in the next post, I swear. I promise that I do have a vague knowledge of current events, even from within my bubble of isolation. Enjoy the following things, in the event that you somehow missed them in the past month.

  1. I have 5 words: Meghan and Harry on Oprah.
  2. of Montreal put out a new album full of undeniable bangers! Kevin Barnes simply does not know how to make a bad song!
  3. Started watching Good Girls on Netflix. Retta, Mae Whitman, and Christina Hendricks are the dream team.
  4. Loving this lip crayon in “Fig” and this liquid lip in “Forever.”
  5. Planning on getting this setup for our 2nd bathroom remodel. I haven’t had one of those handheld sprayer things in over 15 years.
  6. Love these dainty zodiac necklaces.
  7. Making this soup to combat the last of the frigid winter weather.
  8. I’m finally trying out Magic Spoon, after hearing a bunch of rave reviews. It’s really pricey, but it’s packed with protein, which I need more of in my diet, as I don’t eat much meat. I haven’t had Froot Loops in about 20 years, so I’m psyched to have a version with 0g of added sugar.
  9. My friend Sarah’s book is available for pre-order! I’m so excited to finally read it!
  10. This hummus absolutely slaps. Found it at my local Target, but they sell this brand in most major grocery stores.

Week Links [22 February]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning, America! I can’t tell if COVID Mondays are worse (because the proverbial weekend will never come) or easier because they’re hardly different from any other day. I wish I had anything interesting to report, but I sat around knitting and bingeing Gossip Girl all weekend so I’m even boring myself. The weather where I live is going to inch into the 40s and 50s this week, which may sound horrible to people in most climates, but in New England? It’s a mitzvah after a cold and snowy winter.

Stay warm, stay safe, and as King Diamond would say, stay heavy!

megan on the season premiere of snl
  1. SNL may never top this sketch. She’s got a healthy belt! Rick Beato’s reaction to “drivers license” made me feel extremely justified in my opinion that this song is perfect.
  2. My favorite sweater is on sale. I have it in 2 colors.
  3. Megan Thee Stallion showed her nighttime skincare routine on Instagram and I didn’t think it was possible for me to love her more than I already do.
  4. I just found out that Jenna Lyons has a show and I may need to reconsider my disdain for all reality-based television series.
  5. I bought this bag bundle during their 25% off Valentine’s Day sale because I’m obsessed with jinxing myself. I am truly like two purchases away from becoming a Victorian ghost, haunting the moors while my soul is trapped between earth and the afterworld.
  6. You do have to laugh.
  7. Excited to try these non-alcoholic cocktails.
  8. I caved. In my defense, it took almost a year to get me to crack. And yes, I had a coupon code.
  9. There is no one I stan harder than Deb from Smitten Kitchen, so when I was on a cooking tear on Saturday, I made this macaroni & cheese and these brownies. I slightly burned the brownies because I got distracted after turning the timer off (never do this if you have ADHD!), but overall my kitchen was the place to be this weekend. Don’t worry—I served roasted broccoli to balance out the utter lack of nutritional value.
  10. I just started using this toothbrush. I’ve been using their flat body scrubber for ages, having received it in a subscription box. Loving this anti-microbial eco option! I’m a really vigorous brusher, so I’m skeptical of any toothbrush that boasts a replacement head (quip utterly failed me), but these are actually up to the task! And the best part is that they only need to be replaced twice a year and are recyclable.
  11. I might get a few of these to brighten up a room I’m redecorating. Definitely a different style for me! This one isn’t as much my taste, but goes perfectly with the color scheme.

Week Links [21 December]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning! I want to express my deepest condolences to anyone who has to work today. I’m off until the 4th, because my job absolutely rules. I will be spending my day baking chocolate babka and catching up on podcasts. I’m also racing to read 50 books by the end of the year…only 4 left!

I hope you and yours have a spectacular holiday season in spite of everything. Merry Christmas!

  1. Taylor has done it again—sneak-attacking us with another iconic album, this time in celebration of her 31st birthday. I was an extremely late-adopter with Taylor, but even if I hadn’t already become a fan, 2020 would have been the year. This girl comes back harder than a ’90s trend. (This post was mostly written a week ago, so I know evermore is already old news.)
  2. I’m going to be posting about my 2020 in books, but one that deserves an unrelated shout out is Beach Read by Emily Henry. I almost wanted to start over from the beginning when I finished it. Powerful, sweet, delightful fun. Also, I read this during a snowstorm, so it was nice to remember that summer exists.
  3. I discovered this jewelry brand on Instagram last week and now I want everything, especially this zodiac necklace.
  4. I got another set of foils in my quest to become a blonde and the bleach lightened the virgin hair at my roots so much that it kind of looked like a ’90s boy-band’s frosted tips (I have since gotten a root smudge). I use Olaplex to keep my hair from falling out from the way I abuse it.
  5. I’m listening to Shit, Actually by Lindy West and the chapter on The Notebook felt like a point-blank execution. I know it’s problematic, and that by extension, I’m problematic, but I don’t care! It’s an iconic love story! (To be clear, Lindy’s book absolutely rules and has made me laugh out loud like a fool on innumerable occasions.)
  6. I need an intervention to prevent me from buying this sweatshirt.
  7. I listened to this podcast episode on unpopular opinions recently and apparently my opinions are not so unpopular after all! Microwave-haters unite!
  8. Bided (bode?) my time and finally managed to snag a new wool coat for 60% off. Debating as to whether I should grab this one too, since it’s SO inexpensive…
  9. Reorganized my fridge again because, much like Angelica Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton, I will never be satisfied. These carafes are such a bargain and look sexy as hell in the fridge. No more ugly cardboard and plastic containers! These ones have a half gallon capacity if that better suits your needs.
  10. I’ve probably already written about this, but I got a matching set of this hoodie and these joggers (when they were on sale, I’m not a millionaire) and I feel LUXE when I wear it. I wish I could afford to get them in every color. Ironically, the first day I wore my sweatsuit, I came across this article by one of my favorite writers, Amanda Mull. P.S. It’s probably only a matter of time before I get this to complete the look, since I’m the worst person I know.
  11. Hanukkah was last week, and while I am not Jewish and have basically zero right to care about this, I am also an obsessively festive holiday person, so I had a 2-person mini feast of “traditional” foods I’d never tried to make before. A friend of mine made me some vegetarian matzoh ball soup and hamentachen, and I made latkes, applesauce, challah, and tzimmes (without the plums, since my husband has a thing about fruit in savory foods). It was so delicious and I’m definitely writing this while I’m eating the leftovers. Taste-wise, the challah wasn’t as good as when I made it on Rosh Hashanah (if this behavior is what gets me cancelled, it will have been a good run), but I’ve gotten so much better at braiding. It was a sight to behold!

Week Links [15 November]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning, comrades! Another week on the books. I realize that this is likely not the case, but it is my sincerest hope that you got Veteran’s Day off to rest and recoup during what has been an exhausting and frankly, traumatizing month. And on that note, I feel like I make this point every year, but even though I am extremely anti-war and feel that the military should be dissolved and its disgustingly over-inflated budget redistributed to fund robust social programs that actually protect American lives, I am extremely pro-veterans and their rights/benefits. Two things can be true at once! Especially given the military’s predatory recruiting tactics and that, for many, military service is the least worst option, the very least they deserve is an annual holiday. *end soapbox*

Anyway, other than being mad as hell about political discourse, I have been staying the fuck home, because I live in a cold climate and I am not trying to get coronavirus! I’m disgusted by how unwilling my fellow, privileged, work-from-homers are to hunker down through winter to mitigate the spread. Can we all just get some soy eggnog and some fun Hanukkah or Christmas mugs and just stop being reckless? Cool! And yes, I do have both of those mugs because festivity is my coping mechanism.

I’ll shut up now! Here’s this week’s list of miscellany and ephemera. La la love you, don’t mean maybe.

  1. Can’t stop listening to this iconic song from 15 years ago! I love Tori Amos so much.
  2. Best modern Christmas album, sorry.
  3. Obsessed with this Etsy shop!! I also love this print shop, and have the Trade Daddy print (of course!) Madison also runs the amazing Instagram account @rulesofculture. She is doing the Lord’s work.
  4. There’s a Schitt’s Creek farewell special on Netflix called Best Wishes, Warmest Regards and I could not emotionally handle it. I may or may not have convulsed with sobs.
  5. Speaking of shows, I think I’m going to watch The Queen’s Gambit. I couldn’t be less interested in chess, but I’ve heard it’s incredible and quite horny.
  6. I haven’t made this cheesecake in a couple of years but it’s my favorite, favorite recipe.
  7. I snagged a past-season version of this Prada key holder on Poshmark for forty dollars and I am in love with it. Mine is blush pink and in perfect condition. I love that it has a slot for my ID, so I can travel light on trips to Starbucks or Target (or really, anywhere, since basically every store has Apple Pay at this point). If you’re patient, you can score really nice second-hand designer goods on Poshmark or TheRealReal…I tell myself that shopping this way is “sustainable” and not “a reckless waste of money.”
  8. I don’t know why it took my so long to buy replacement reeds for all of my oil diffusers, but I finally did. My favorite oil blends are from this Atlanta-based company (although they don’t seem to be selling them right now!), and these seasonal ones from the Target Hearth & Hand line. The little ceramic bottles are aesthetic af…I’ll probably keep reusing them long after the oil runs out. I am extremely particular about scents, so I tend to like things that closely mimic nature (pine, tobacco, etc). Vanilla makes me gag—great flavor, terrible candle scent.
  9. I finally found an ornament storage solution that has a decent capacity and doesn’t cost a million dollars. I bought 2, because I am planning to go so hard with my Christmas ornament collection over the years.
  10. I was fortunate enough to attend the Ifill Forum on Saturday (the fourth anniversary of Gwen Ifill’s passing) where Sherrilyn Ifill and Ava DuVernay spoke about the election and racial justice. Hearing Sherrilyn condemn the prison industrial complex and the way that history will remember this era had me in tears.
  11. I’d be remiss not to mention that we lost Alex Trebek last week. I’d known he was ill for a long time, but it still came as a shock. One of my biggest regrets is that I missed a taping of Jeopardy! in 2017 because I was…too hungover (I am an idiot!!!). I really thought I’d have another chance. My dad went to the taping on his own and now it’s one of his most cherished memories. Jeopardy! has been special to me for my entire life. Even as a toddler, I watched it with my dad—as I got older, I went from marveling that anyone could know the answers to being a fierce competitor. Alex Trebek was a brilliant man—effortlessly classy, a consummate host. He touched so many people’s lives, and I’m so grateful for the way he touched mine.

Week Links [8 November]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Well, we did it. Or, we didn’t do it, but organizers in swing states did it. Special shout out to Philly, Detroit, & Atlanta. I love Atlanta, and when we’re allowed to travel again, I’m definitely doing long weekends in Philly and Detroit and giving them all of my tourism money. I think we’ll always remember where we were when we found out the election had been called—I was washing dishes, and I got a text from my husband that said, “Is Biden President??” I immediately responded, “No,” but then I refreshed the ABC News live map on my phone and my heart stopped for a second. I kind of wish I’d gotten to see the news break in real time, but I’LL TAKE IT. Remember, remember the 7th of November, bitch!

I’ll be critical next week, but this weekend is for celebration. One less thing to worry about. We pop bottles when we vote out fascists.

  1. Never going to stop listening to this song for as long as I live! Let’s make it the most streamed rap song of all time. This is also in the running.
  2. Speaking of patriotism, Whitney Houston’s performance of “The Star Spangled Banner” is the best version ever performed or recorded. It’s hard to find a decent video of it, but this one starts at 1:15.
  3. Really wishing I had these champagne coupes to toast this weekend. *theatre kid voice* Raise a glass to freedom, something they can never take away!
  4. The Target Wondershop is absolutely popping off this year. Can you even handle this lemon ornament? I’m trying to be deliberate about my decoration curation, because the ornaments we had in my house growing up were really special—some from my mom’s childhood, some from ours—and although I am an Aesthetic™ bitch, I do want to bring that happy energy to my own children’s lives, should I ever be lucky enough to have kids (waiting on that vaccine for sure). And if I’m being honest, I’m probably going to get this retro tree in both sizes. I love that shit that was old even 25 years ago when I was a kid is coming back into vogue. *cue “Landslide“*
  5. I finally bought this sweatshirt after weeks of waffling because I thought it might be a jinx. Proud of my vote! Should I get a set of pearls to go with?
  6. My friend Rachel made a playlist of showtunes to blast when Biden’s victory was declared. She is an icon and a national treasure.
  7. Did we know that MIZ Stacey Abrams writes romance novels? Gonna have to find a way to buy all of them.
  8. I’ve been compiling a list of recipes to make if I’m ever allowed to host a gathering again and this is a definite yes. P.S. Very excited to soon have a President who believes in science and will take whatever measures are possible to mitigate the spread of the virus!
  9. I rewatched the 1997 animated film Anastasia on HBO Max on Wednesday (because stress), and I have to say it’s wildly underrated. Name a better voice cast! There are FIVE musical numbers before the 30 minute mark.
  10. My husband sent me this video about the most important run in music history. I’ve been working on this since roughly 2011 and I don’t think I’ve ever successfully done it.
  11. And, like, no neolib, but it is actually a huge fucking deal that Kamala Harris is our first woman Vice President. She has some blemishes on her record that she needs to acknowledge and atone for, and she wasn’t my choice in the primaries, but a Black, South Asian daughter of immigrants and HBCU grad without children who didn’t take her husband’s last name being elected to the second-highest office in the land? Representation matters—in big ways (young black and brown girls in this country get to grow up with a leader that looks like them), and slightly less significant, but still remarkable ways (you don’t have to give birth or let your identity be subsumed by a man’s to make it in politics). Even Hillary Clinton reluctantly took her husband’s last name in the interest of political expediency. This is a bit of a pet issue for me, I’ll admit, but in 2021 we’re moisturizing, drinking water, and not participating in the patriarchy anymore.
it is with a heavy heart that i must admit that young joe biden was a snack

Week Links [25 October]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment
honestly? a vibe.

Good morning! It’s been a minute! I have to admit that it’s hard to come up with ten+ things a week to talk about that aren’t repeats, given that we’re all still stuck inside, going through the motions. I’m going to try to do a spending freeze for a week, starting tomorrow…it should be easy, but ever since I entered the workforce on my 16th birthday, shopping has honestly been my main source of serotonin.

Another amazing source of serotonin that I didn’t truly appreciate until my mid-twenties is…Christmas! So, full disclosure, I am the most annoying and staunch atheist you’ll ever meet (though I try to be very respectful of other people’s views and have friends from several different religious backgrounds!), but Christmas is my jam. I’ve already made my (all secular) Christmas playlists and plan on decorating on November 1st (I think you have to at least wait until Halloween is over). I have two Christmas trees…I do not mess around. I think this will probably be the year I finally upgrade my hand-me-down pre-lit green tree with colored bulbs to a chic white one (the other is rose gold, nbd). Last year I didn’t decorate at all because I was severely depressed and grieving the loss of a family member, so this year I plan to go ALL OUT to make up for lost time. Call me sappy, but I feel very inspired by the Christmas season. During (literally) the darkest time of year, everywhere you look is bright and festive. One incredible thing about getting older is that I’ve become so much less cynical and have learned to actually find joy in things that are meant to be joyful.

Anyway, fair warning: there will probably be a lot of Christmas content from me this year. Also, if you don’t think “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is at least a Top 5 Christmas song, please unsubscribe.

Well, what follows has nothing to do with anything I’ve written here, so…[insert segue]

  1. Honestly can’t believe I haven’t shouted out the new Sufjan. Get into The Ascension.
  2. I’ve officially reached a new quarantine delusion level. I’m buying handbags and accoutrements as though I’ll ever leave my house again. Where could I even wear platform purple sandals in real life, much less during the plague? Same question, but about these.
  3. Dresses like this are my entire vibe now.
  4. Gonna try this out on my new blonde locks (see below).
  5. Mariah writes about this VH1 Divas performance in her book and that chapter is must-read entertainment. Apparently the drama has been much discussed!
  6. I am hanging on by a THREAD not buying these. Perhaps even by the time you read this post, I will have caved. As someone with (self-diagnosed, to be fair) Reynaud’s who has a complex about never having been able to follow trends as a youth (cut to me purchasing a Longchamp bag in 2016), I am extremely susceptible to capitalistic peer pressure, especially when it involves warmth!
  7. I am too poor to buy everything from this amazing queer, trans-owned jewelry company, but that doesn’t make me want to any less! Plz give me all of the anklets!
  8. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm was actually a delight.
  9. I’ll definitely be making these tempeh lettuce wraps soon.
  10. Be honest—should I get this poster? I love this Etsy shop; I think I’m going to do a Tarantino wall in our media room.
  11. Got these adorable earrings from Flower Dangles. My handmade earring collection is one of my greatest treasures!
*extremely kate-mckinnon-as-keith-urban voice* who did your highlights?

Enjoy what’s left of your weekend, and if you observe the Spooky Season, I wish you a Happy Halloween! -chels

Week Links [11 October]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning! Yesterday was World Mental Health Day and my emotional state can confirm! Has anyone else had massive anxiety for about two weeks? RBG’s death followed by literally everyone in the administration getting COVID was the impetus for quite a lot of doom-scrolling. I know I’m not supposed to be happy that *he* got it, and I’m not sure that’s quite the emotion the news inspired, but he has also mismanaged the virus response so egregiously (I consider it tantamount to murder) that over half the amount of Americans that died in WWII have been killed by COVID in less than a year. But remember this time, 4 years ago, when the Access Hollywood tape leaked and we all gleefully thought it had fucked him out of a chance at the presidency? Remember that? If I could bottle that optimism and inject it directly into my veins…

I’ve been listening to a lot of pop music from the early ’00s lately (hello “Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson!), which I’m sure is some sign that I’m emotionally regressing due to stress. After the 2016 election, I drank wine every day and obsessively binged-watched Gilmore Girls, so I’d actually consider this a significant improvement. If the past few years has taught me anything, it’s taught me that we can weather almost any storm and that genuine good can come from tragedy. Can you imagine white people meaningfully discussing police abolition even a couple of years ago? It shouldn’t have taken electing a dangerous fascist/racist/homophobic/misogynist/transphobic/xenophobic administration to get us here, but I can’t see us going back now that we’ve arrived.

All of which is to say that I woke up extremely early this morning and have had a lot of coffee, so I’m cutting myself off from writing anymore about the apocalyptic state of things. Enjoy a martini recipe.

  1. Schitt’s Creek season 6 is on Netflix, on the off-chance that you hadn’t already binged it.
  2. Jester, I have done it again. I’ve always said that the FIRST thing I would do if I ever made real money would be to get laser hair removal from my eyebrows to my toes. Hair removal is a patriarchal scam, blah blah blah, I get it, but as a person with skin so pale it’s translucent and black body hair, removal has eaten away like a third of my life. I have to tweeze my eyebrows and shave my underarms every day. When I did ancestry.com, I’m honestly surprised my results didn’t come back 100% Cro-Magnon or Neanderthal (I’ve…never taken an anthropology course). All of which is to say, though I haven’t hit it big just yet, I have decided to give at-home IPL removal a try. Even if it only delivers 20% of the results it promises, that will still be a huge improvement.
  3. Baking papo secos for the first time today! Portuguese real ones will know.
  4. Would it be psychotic to start using tanning lotion? I’ve heard amazing things about this brand and I think my legs (especially) could really use it.
  5. Mindy Kaling had a surprise baby?! Congratulations to the new mama of two! I’m so excited to read her newest essay collection.
  6. Bowen Yang remains my religion.
  7. Are we all attending Jen Kirkman’s Dysfunctional Christmas Show? I’ve been trying to get to one in LA for years (I have family in LA, jealous???), but the one upside of the pandemic is that I can stream that shit right to my TV!
  8. I’m trying to drink less and ABM publishes this martini recipe? Rude, honestly.
  9. How have I never read this interview with my forever king? I can confirm that at least this Chelsea is a pretty neat person/Birkenstock-wearing kid.
  10. My fourth wedding anniversary is coming up, and while the fourth is pretty irrelevant, the fifth seems pretty significant…needless to say, I’ve been browsing anniversary rings online. I’d like to shop indie/sustainable brands, but it looks like the diamond/white gold combo is très passé, because all the cool companies are doing yellow gold. I did find this delicate cutie on Mejuri, but this is more my speed…
  11. And speaking of anniversaries, I just bought our actual anniversary gift. I was going to surprise Michael but I was way too excited!
  12. Finally, I don’t exactly keep my politics close to the vest (see above!), but I feel like it’s so important to reiterate that, despite Biden being very nearly my last choice in the primaries, I am ride or die for Biden-Harris. I’m not optimistic enough to think we’ll have a free and fair election (oh, to be young again!) but it would be shameful to not even try. I vote in person on Election Day because my polling place is awesome and right down the street from me, but not everyone has that luxury. This website breaks down how to register to vote and how to vote in every state. If you’re voting by mail, get that shit in the ballot box yesterday. Make a voting plan, and make sure everyone in your life plans to do the same. Taking ten minutes out of your day could bring us one step closer to defeating the rise of fascism. And it’s not just at the Presidential level–get to know your local candidates and yes, for now, vote blue no matter who.

Autumn Apple Smoothie

Chelsea Harper1 Comment

Have you ever made something so delicious and simple that you wonder where it’s been all your life? I certainly wondered that when I tasted this smoothie for the first time. It’s like eating a cold piece of apple pie the morning after Thanksgiving only better, because you can have as much of it as you want with zero guilt (not that I’ve ever exactly felt guilt about my pie consumption…)

I have to confess: I’m not a sweets person! Sugary food does nothing for me, and even the sweets I do like tend toward the sour side (Ina Garten says lemons>chocolate and I simply could not agree more). Even when I do actually get fresh-pressed juice or smoothies, there’s always a savory element—bright citrus or kale in juice, peanut butter or coffee in a smoothie. I feel like whenever I say I hate sweets, people look at me like I must be some health maniac. Not so! If anything, it actually fucks me over, because instead of having a smoothie, fruit, or yogurt for breakfast like a normal human being, I’ll eat a plate of hash browns and veggie breakfast sausage (Trader Joe’s does these both best, for my money). Getting fruit into my diet is really challenging because even though I enjoy eating it when I will myself to do so, it’s never going to feel as satisfying as, I don’t know, Cheez-Its or literally licking the flavor packet that comes with Top Ramen (which is a thing I actually did as a child, is it any wonder that I have a, well, strained relationship with my weight?)

Another flaw in the “Chelsea’s going to become a health guru that drinks green smoothies all the time” was that our blender straight-up sucked. It was a hand-me-down from my grandmother to replace our previous, even shittier blender. It technically worked fine, but it didn’t have enough strength or sharpness, so we’d always find date chunks or 1 random unblended leaf of spinach in our smoothies. It made the depressing reality of eating fruit even more bleak. So, with the endorsement of my dietician (and the permission of my husband to use his credit card), we bought a brand-new blender that was blessedly available in pink (although I genuinely chose the model based on reviews, I swear!) I’m glad I acted when I did, because that color’s no longer available and it’s back to full price! It’s no Vitamix, but it’s a great budget option.

Anyway, the deal was that if we invested in a decent appliance, we’d actually have to use it. The first go-round was a peanut-butter & blueberry protein smoothie (I’ll post that recipe eventually), which was okay, but the second experiment, an ode to New England’s most glorious season, was born today. The great thing about this smoothie is that, while it is definitely sweet, the cranberries add a lovely tartness that you could tone down or ramp up, per your preference.

Autumn Apple Smoothie (serves 2)

  • 2 red apples, skins on and cored
  • 1-2 banana, peeled (I used 1 banana and half a frozen banana, since I don’t add ice to my smoothies)
  • 2 tablespoons chopped walnuts
  • 1 pitted date
  • 1/4 cup cranberries (fresh or frozen)
  • 1/2-1 cup almond milk (depending on how thick you want it)
  • 1 tsp. chia seeds
  • a dash of vanilla extract
  • a few shakes of cinnamon
  • a dash of nutmeg

Add all of the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium/high until thoroughly combined and smooth. The result should be a really pretty pale pink color from the apple skins and cranberries. If you don’t care about the aesthetic, definitely throw a handful of raw spinach in there. It’s my favorite smoothie hack to get the most nutritional bang for your buck. This recipe yielded two full pint mason jars, plus a little extra, since I like my smoothies thin; you could definitely halve the recipe for one, or freeze the second smoothie and thaw it for breakfast the next day (who needs Daily Harvest?)

You can customize this to your heart’s content, as with any smoothie, but a great swap would be to skip the vanilla extract and add a scoop of vanilla protein powder (I use this). Any way you choose to make it, enjoy!