Week Links [25 October]

honestly? a vibe.

Good morning! It’s been a minute! I have to admit that it’s hard to come up with ten+ things a week to talk about that aren’t repeats, given that we’re all still stuck inside, going through the motions. I’m going to try to do a spending freeze for a week, starting tomorrow…it should be easy, but ever since I entered the workforce on my 16th birthday, shopping has honestly been my main source of serotonin.

Another amazing source of serotonin that I didn’t truly appreciate until my mid-twenties is…Christmas! So, full disclosure, I am the most annoying and staunch atheist you’ll ever meet (though I try to be very respectful of other people’s views and have friends from several different religious backgrounds!), but Christmas is my jam. I’ve already made my (all secular) Christmas playlists and plan on decorating on November 1st (I think you have to at least wait until Halloween is over). I have two Christmas trees…I do not mess around. I think this will probably be the year I finally upgrade my hand-me-down pre-lit green tree with colored bulbs to a chic white one (the other is rose gold, nbd). Last year I didn’t decorate at all because I was severely depressed and grieving the loss of a family member, so this year I plan to go ALL OUT to make up for lost time. Call me sappy, but I feel very inspired by the Christmas season. During (literally) the darkest time of year, everywhere you look is bright and festive. One incredible thing about getting older is that I’ve become so much less cynical and have learned to actually find joy in things that are meant to be joyful.

Anyway, fair warning: there will probably be a lot of Christmas content from me this year. Also, if you don’t think “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is at least a Top 5 Christmas song, please unsubscribe.

Well, what follows has nothing to do with anything I’ve written here, so…[insert segue]

  1. Honestly can’t believe I haven’t shouted out the new Sufjan. Get into The Ascension.
  2. I’ve officially reached a new quarantine delusion level. I’m buying handbags and accoutrements as though I’ll ever leave my house again. Where could I even wear platform purple sandals in real life, much less during the plague? Same question, but about these.
  3. Dresses like this are my entire vibe now.
  4. Gonna try this out on my new blonde locks (see below).
  5. Mariah writes about this VH1 Divas performance in her book and that chapter is must-read entertainment. Apparently the drama has been much discussed!
  6. I am hanging on by a THREAD not buying these. Perhaps even by the time you read this post, I will have caved. As someone with (self-diagnosed, to be fair) Reynaud’s who has a complex about never having been able to follow trends as a youth (cut to me purchasing a Longchamp bag in 2016), I am extremely susceptible to capitalistic peer pressure, especially when it involves warmth!
  7. I am too poor to buy everything from this amazing queer, trans-owned jewelry company, but that doesn’t make me want to any less! Plz give me all of the anklets!
  8. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm was actually a delight.
  9. I’ll definitely be making these tempeh lettuce wraps soon.
  10. Be honest—should I get this poster? I love this Etsy shop; I think I’m going to do a Tarantino wall in our media room.
  11. Got these adorable earrings from Flower Dangles. My handmade earring collection is one of my greatest treasures!
*extremely kate-mckinnon-as-keith-urban voice* who did your highlights?

Enjoy what’s left of your weekend, and if you observe the Spooky Season, I wish you a Happy Halloween! -chels

Vegan Tempeh Bacon

Love bacon but hate the inhumane slaughter of one of Earth’s smartest and cutest creatures? Me too!

image via google
I’m not going to sit here and act like I’ve never eaten or will never again eat a pork product. I don’t eat pork, but unless you personally make every single meal you eat, there’s really no way to 100% know. I’m not perfect! But pigs are very awesome, so until I convince my fiancé that a pet pig is a really good investment, I’m just going to eat all of this vegan “bacon” in one sitting.

Here’s the deal: I love to cook, but I’m also deeply passionate about recipes involving fewer than 5 ingredients with 20 minute prep/cook times.

Vegan Tempeh “Bacon”

makes 4 servings (or 2, because let’s be real)

1 pkg. tempeh

1 tbs olive oil

1 tbs soy sauce

1 tsp liquid smoke

Preheat oven to 400. Combine liquid ingredients in a small bowl. Slice tempeh as thin as you can, trying your best to replicate the shape of bacon. Thinner slices mean crispier, cruncher “bacon” (this is obviously the best way to eat it, screw anyone that likes it soggy). Thicker slices are heartier and more Canadian bacon-esque. Lay all of your slices on a piece of parchment paper on a cookie sheet (no need to grease the paper), and brush on your marinade. Bake for 7-10 minutes, depending on your oven (mine has a convection bake setting). Take the cookie sheet out, flip your slices, and brush the marinade on the other side. Bake for another 7-10 minutes, this time checking to make sure the pieces haven’t burned. When you take them out of the oven, they’ll be sizzling deliciously. Let them cool for a couple of minutes and enjoy!

My favorite way to enjoy these are between whole grain toast with mashed avocado! Or for omnivores, add a fried egg & melted Swiss to the above equation.

Happy baking!


P.S. Sorry there are no process pictures, but this is so quick and so delicious that they were gone before I could even grab a camera!