So, just tossing it out there, but I have a Snapchat! I really should have named this blog “Highway to Chel” since that’s what I am on all of my social accounts.
Snapchat has honestly become one of my favorite social media platforms. It’s so low-stakes. No need to curate an existence. I would never post no-makeup pics on Insta, but they’re all over Snappy. It’s such an awesome way to connect with your fave internet people on a more intimate level, but still maintain privacy and control.
I feel like I’m the most ME on Snappy, since so few people watch my story. I haven’t been as consistent with this blog as I’ve wanted to be, so Snap is a great way to keep up on those weeks when I don’t post. I dream of the day when I can quit working an actual job (or reduce hours) and devote myself completely to my little corner of the internet, but that may never come. So on-the-fly Snaps it will be for now.
Follow me on ALL the things (and I mean all the things) @highwaytochel!
The language surrounding the Orlando massacre had already pivoted from “hate crime” to “terrorist action” before I even woke up to hear the news yesterday. Before the death toll began to rise. Poor, unfortunate advocates of gun control, silenced before we were even allowed to speak.
Much has been made of the shooter’s ethnic background. His parents were Muslim immigrants from Afghanistan. Therefore, apparently, by some twisted logic, the shooting at an LGBTQ safe space was an act of “Islamic terror” and not a hate crime against a beautiful community whose diversity makes us better as a nation every day.
I won’t try to argue that followers of Islam aren’t prejudiced against the gay community, because they very well may be. But aren’t the leaders that advocate for traditional marriage and undermine the human rights and dignity of that same community not the loudest and proudest Christians? I am an atheist, but I have the pleasure of knowing people of several faiths, mostly Christian ones, who are among the most loving, tolerant, and open people I’ve met. They truly believe that the message of their God or gods is one of acceptance, forgiveness, and equality.
If the shooter were a white, Christian man, he would merely be “deranged.” His actions wouldn’t be held as a reflection of the values of his faith. Christian leaders and politicians would try their damnedest to condemn his actions. And he most certainly would not have been instantly linked to terrorist organizations.
The Orlando shooter, whose name does not deserve to be printed, very well may have been a terrorist. For all I know, he was set to board a plane to join ISIS next week. But that’s not the point. The shooting was an act of terror, but not the “Islamic terror” that the orange blowhard currently running for President loves to speak about. It was an act of terror and hatred against a minority group against whom society and the world is still prejudiced.
This shooting brings up two very important issues on which U.S. needs to progress, neither of which involves Islam, ISIS, or Carrie Mathison’s intervention. The first is universal acceptance of the LGBTQ community. This won’t happen overnight, but as equal marriage is now the law of the land, it behooves those still on the fence or still steeped in hatred to look within themselves to locate the source of their discomfort. The second is this nation’s desperate need for common sense gun control.
Even though I personally would never own a gun, I have no serious objection to law-abiding citizens, regardless of race or creed, owning a firearm for hunting or sport. I don’t agree that any civilian needs a gun, but I would never infringe upon another person’s constitutional right to bear arms. Just as I would never censor a person for speaking his or her mind or practicing his or her religion openly. Neither, I should mention, would the Democratic party or its nominee for President. No one will be coming to your house to confiscate your guns. Gun control is not a ban on guns.
What gun control laws would seek to do is institute universal background checks before the purchase of guns and ammunition. They would prevent people that are currently under suspicion of terrorism from accessing guns. The same people on the no-fly list would be on the no-gun list. The majority of NRA members support these measures, by the way.
What gun control means for you: if you are a law-abiding citizen over the age of 18 who has been properly vetted, go ahead and buy a gun. Nobody is stopping you.
In most cases, the gun that your uncle keeps locked in his safe at home is not the gun responsible for mass shootings. Combat-grade assault weapons are often at fault. Civilians do not need access to the instruments of war, which are designed to maximize slaughter. A ban on assault weapons is completely reasonable.
Fifty members of our society were mercilessly gunned down in a safe space that they created for themselves. As every new outlet has claimed, it was the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. This is a U.S. problem. It’s on us to be vocal about calling for change. It’s on us to vote for leaders that support gun control. It’s on us to stand up for the rights of our brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community every day.
Isn’t it ironic that so much love is the target of so much hatred? Someday, I want to raise my kids in a world where, when I tell them about Orlando, they respond with the same horror with which I once responded to hearing about the Jim Crow laws, glad that their world is safer and more tolerant than the one that preceded them. To me, growing up, racial segregation was unfathomable. I’m from Massachusetts, where equal marriage has been law since 2004, so, much in the same way, intolerance toward the LGBTQ community was unfathomable. Future generations deserve to feel the same way about assault weapons and hate crimes.
I won’t be praying for Orlando, because I’m not religious and that would be an empty gesture. I will, however, be voting Democrat in November. My hope is that those fifty deaths won’t be entirely in vain, and that we can rally the support needed to change the conversation surrounding guns, terrorism, and intolerance.
April 28-May 26 (cut short because of my vacation!)
So, this whole no-spending-money-on-anything thing is a lot easier and a lot harder than I expected! Finding creative ways to save has been really fun!
I started bringing coupons to the grocery store and I saved $9 the first week and $16 the second. I also actually brought the cans to the redemption center. It was only La Croixs, but I made $5. Better than nothing!
Au revoir, fancy takeout crêpes. (@ The Skinny Pancake in Montpelier, VT)
It’s so hard not to spend on clothes and accessories (my weaknesses). I think the best feeling so far has been my newfound ability to add to cart without checking out. I still get the online shopping rush, without actually spending money.
About halfway through the month, I found myself begin to online window-shop again, so I decided to send a payment to my student loans every time I “added to cart.” It worked brilliantly! One day I sent a random $228 to my loans, instead of spending unneccessary money on Rebecca Minkoff bags or on Asos. When I completed my student loan exit counseling, I sent another $120 towards my loans just for fun.
Of course, throughout the first month, I screwed up. I’m a human being with needs! All of these amounts are rounded up:
The Shame List
drinks at the theatre, $17
drinks at the M.Ward concert, $22
NAF merch button, $3
dinner out, $27
drinks at the La Sera concert, $13
craft supplies, $24
Home Depot (plants & woodworking supplies), $57
treated Dad to dinner, $50
dry-brush, $13
doughnuts & treats with bae, $19
*weak moment* Asos, $26
treated Dad to drinks, $23
clothes, $32
total: $326
Ugh, this list makes me look like a total alcoholic! The first month taught me that (though I don’t drink at home) I’m weak when it comes to indulging when I go out. Hopefully, that will only improve from here! It’s a bummer to think that $326 went to something other than my debt, but it’s such an immense improvement from last month that I’m not letting it discourage me! Basically, it amounts to one wasted paycheck. I think the easiest plan for me is to slowly taper off (3/4, 1/2, 1/4 a paycheck…)
Without starting the Spending Fast, that extra money that I sent to my student loans would have been wasted! Hopefully I can knock a couple thousand dollars off the top before I start owing payments in 6 months. This month, my savings/emergency fund reached $1,500, which is a major milestone for me. I can pay cash to finish my degree, which is something I never thought I’d achieve. I might start auto-depositing $100/week instead of $50/week into my savings, so that come student loan time, I’ll barely even feel my monthly payments.
I went to Montréal this past weekend, so I had 4 days of a “Spending Vacation.” Luckily, the tenets of Spending-Fasting influenced my financial decision-making while abroad. We kept expenses really low, and availed ourselves of free activities. We were lucky enough to be there during Free Museum Day! Also, dat Canadian $$ exchange rate…
On a scale of 1-10, I’d consider May to be about a 4. I saved money and learned about my own spending habits, but I also spent way more than I had originally intended to.
So, guys—I did a DIY and it did NOT turn out horribly!
I recently bought my first record player (yes, at age 24, shut up). I only have 4 LPs so far (because of the Spending Fast), but they have such pretty artwork that I just needed to display them. When I saw this Photo Ledge DIY on A Beautiful Mess, I knew I’d found just the thing.
Rilo Kiley’s The Execution of All Things & Eisley’s Currents
Since we redecorated our living room, there’s been an awkward patch of bare wall underneath our faux-mantlepiece that I’ve been dying to fill up with some art. When I saw the DIY on ABM, I figured I could make the space work double duty as a place to store my tiny record collection.
Jenny Lewis’ Acid Tongue & Belle and Sebastian’s If You’re Feeling Sinister
Of course, I messed up along the way. My power drill is from Ikea—I lovingly call it my “drill for girls.” Not having the right tools for the job was a major roadblock that turned this into a day-long, rather than an hour-long project. Also, Home Depot is a confounding labyrinth—we spent way too long searching for supplies. But all in all, I’m proud that I made something useful with my own two hands.
Sanding like a boss.
After I assembled the wood, I primed and painted the ledge gold, because all gold everything, obviously. I asked my father-in-law to come over with his drill to hang the shelf, et voilà—stylish record storage! I’m so inspired to work on more projects because of how successfully this one went.
If you haven’t heard of the Spending Fast, it’s the creation of blogger and photographer Anna Newell Jones. I’ve been following her blog And Then We Saved for years, and after reading her new book and forcing myself to confront the truth about my spending, I officially began my Spending Fast.
I finally went through my personal bank and credit card statements and not counting a lot of spending while on my vacation in Tallahassee, I managed to blow through $2,000 in 2 months! Holy. Shit.
Not all of it was completely reckless spending, but, let’s be honest: did I need to buy a Rebecca Minkoff handbag just because it was on sale? Is it actively improving my life? No. Is it hella cute and am I glad I have it? Of course. But c’mon: the fact that splurging on designer handbags had become so commonplace in my life should have been a red flag that I noticed a long time ago.
But nope. It went to dinners & drinks out, home décor trinkets, and clothes. When I went through my finances, I noticed that I make plenty of money to pay my bills, including my future student loan payments. The problem isn’t my job—it’s me being an absolute maniac with my money. I’m so done with that life.
I’m blogging about this publicly in the hopes that it will keep me accountable. I’m going to admit every time I screw up (so far, $27 total on Chardonnay, water bottles, and breakfast/coffee at school), so I can’t deny it or hide it.
The typical Fast period is a year long, so I’ll aim for that. However, because of the unique circumstances of my 2016-2017 (a planned vacation, a wedding, and a honeymoon), the Fast year will have to include a few Fast vacations, which, in the lingo of And Then We Saved, I’ll call Spending Diets.
Here’s how it works:
You have to split all of your spending into two black & white categories, “Wants” and “Needs.”
My Needs:
cell phone bill
groceries
car loan payments
summer class & textbook
student loan payments (current & impending)
gas
medical co-pays (not that I ever go to the doctor)
Netflix & Hulu (reducing to one service soon)
wedding expenses (be as frugal as possible and pay cash for everything)
My Wants:
new clothes, accessories, & shoes
dining out
tech gear & accessories
cosmetics
haircuts (going to try to barter with my cousin/hairdresser for trims)
misc. online shopping, i.e. Etsy
home décor (will talk over all changes with my fiancé and work together to finance genuine improvements to the house)
music & concert tickets (we are huge music people, so this is going to be VERY tough)
premade & convenience food items
My Goals:
freedom from debt (duh!)
to eventually quit my job and blog/pursue passions full-time
to stay at home if/when I become a mother
to learn lasting money management skills
Some “Needs,” like groceries, can be wide open in terms of interpretation and actual dollar amount spent, so I’m narrowing it even further to exclude junk food and convenience items. My concentration will be on fresh produce and bulk grains/beans. It will require an added investment of time, but I’ll have a lot more free time once I stop internet window-shopping!
There is another component to the Spending Fast that is NOT fun to think about, but it’s an aspect that can’t be ignored: the Spending Fast and sobriety go hand-in-hand. I’m not talking about total teetotaling, but alcohol 100% of the time falls into the “Wants” rather than “Needs” category. There is never a time when one needs to drink. Therefore, apart from the bar of Chels (aka the liquor I acquired prior to the Fast, which I have to make last an entire year), no more drinking for me.
The Bar of Chels (bottle opener/Modcloth)
This is definitely a first-world problem, but I am naturally a very shy person who is easily overcome in noisy crowds (think: big family holidays), so being able to have a couple of drinks has been my emotional band-aid for years. Not great, Bob. I also suffer from depression, so it will be interesting to see if my mood lifts as a result of this major cutback. I’m hoping that this alleged sacrifice will actually turn out to be one of the most life-affirming and positive parts of the Fast.
So, wish me luck! I’m on day 5…only 360 more to go!
—DellaBites
*all photos taken with an iPhone 6 and edited with A Color Story
As I mentioned in a recent post, our outdoor spaces are getting a facelift in preparation for spring & summer! My personal design aesthetic is more modern and neutral, but I wanted to brighten up this previously boring space by injecting it with color! Every time I walk towards my house I basically want it to radiate sunshine, even on a cloudy day, as the song goes. We had some super ugly & dirty plastic patio furniture, but to save money I decided to give it a makeover instead of ditching it for nicer new furniture. #reducereuserecycle!
Spray paint has been proclaimed by the Internet as the number one best hack to give old junk new life, so I obliged and bought some Rust-Oleum. I don’t have much experience with spray paint, but so far I’ve had the best results with Rust-Oleum. Plus, they come in every color and finish under the sun, so you can really flex your creative muscles! The best part about this is that I can retouch my work season-to-season to keep it looking so fresh and so clean for a long time! (Author’s note: Buy the comfort spray grip accessory. Trust me. Best $7 I ever spent.)
(Author’s note: Buy the comfort spray grip accessory. Trust me. Best $7 I ever spent.)
I bought a can of ocean mist and candy pink and went to town!
Summer DIY gear, of course.
I laid out my gear on our lawn (and promptly got scolded by my fiancé for “ruining” the grass with the paint). Grass gets mowed and grows back, dude. Luckily the weather last week was stunning, so everything dried to perfection in record time.
The almost-finished product, sleek AF! Barely any drips, which is amazing because I am the least patient person on planet earth!
In addition to the newly sprayed patio set, I added an Adirondack chair & cushion in similar colors, and a giant hanging fern! I feel like I’ve only just begun, and that there’s still so much work to be done, but so far it’s been great to have a chill spot to drink coffee and write (weather-permitting).
Pre-paradise. Now to fix the paint and wood stain!
Being relatively new to DIYs that involve more strenuous effort than cooking or knitting, I made some mistakes along the way. First big word of caution: read the instructions and shake the damn spray paint for the full minute. That massive splotch of dark pink on the table? Not a trick of the light. It was me sucking at following directions. Secondly, exercise patience! You can do it, I promise. The more slowly and carefully you spray, the more amazing and perfect your items will look. No drips or splotches.
Any tips on transforming your outdoor spaces?
—DellaBites
Follow the hashtag #DBoutdoorspaces on Instagram to see our progress!
*all makeover materials purchased at my local Home Depot for under $100
*all photos taken with an iPhone 6 and edited with A Color Story
Sandal season approaching, you guys! The weather has been so amazing in New England lately. Even when it rains, it’s still gorgeous. It’s been between 50° and 70° every damn day.
I am a Birkenstock devotee! Best sandals in the game.
The fabulous weather has inspired me to fill my house with plants and start the seasonal DIYs! My first step was to revamp the porch.
We have a big, gorgeous wooden porch that we never use because apparently we’re crazy? Really though, it’s because it became outdoor junk storage. The compost bin, the recycling–everything lives outside, making our lovely porch a major eyesore.
Something had to be done, and that something came in the form of a hanging planter of pansies and a spray-painted patio set!
Pretty purple pansies in the evening.Paint used (since the colors are washed out in the photo): Rustoleum gloss spray paint in Ocean Mist & Candy Pink.
The patio set is still missing its sister chairs—I’ll be hitting up Home Depot soon to buy & paint the rest of them—and the table needs another coat of candy pink, but it’s already shaping up nicely! I am feeling blush pink and mint this season—not just because of Pantone! I’m thinking about adding an umbrella, one of these beauties, from the Marimekko for Target collection.
Soooo many hooks for hanging planters!
Our porch, ceiling, which needs to be painted badly, has a bunch of hooks already in place, so you know I’m going to be adding a ton of plants to our outdoor space! If only I knew how to safely remove and refinish what is probably lead paint…
The best thing about nice weather and spending more time outdoors is dressing for it.
Self-timer fails: when your actual husband is a terrible Instagram husband. Sunnies/ABM for Bonlook, dress & choker/F21, jacket/BCBGeneration, bag/Rebecca Minkoff (available here), faux furball/Topshop, sandals/Swedish Hasbeens
I’ve basically been freezing my butt off for days, in complete denial that it’s not quite shorts weather, but these Anthro short-eralls are 100% worth it.
Dressing like a 9-year-old boy is what I do best. Top/August Silk, Shorteralls/Anthropologie (or Free People? Urban? They’re from a brand buyout!), Necklace/Monqstyle
Alright, enough of my shenanigans: there are much more serious matters at hand. I don’t really have words to express my grief regarding the death of Prince. So, instead of risking sounding trite, I’ll just leave this picture, which gives me endless life. Good night, sweet Prince. I don’t care where we go, I don’t care what we do—I don’t care pretty baby, just take me with u.
Me wearing athletic sneakers = the apocalypse is nigh (they Reeboks tho)
So, maybe I’m having a nostalgia moment and listening to Teenage Dream by Katy Perry on a Monday night while I cook dinner. Maybe. It’s been a crazy week.
Without going into too much detail, my brother-in-law-to-be had a pancreas transplant last week. Obviously all surgeries are hard on the patient (and the patient’s loved ones), but this is an auspicious surprise. He has suffered from diabetes for almost 30 years, and now he gets a new lease on life. It’s truly amazing, and I am privileged to know someone who epitomizes survival. Seeing a family member go through such life-altering (and potentially life-threatening) procedure really puts things into perspective. Every day is precious, and should be approached as such.
The lesson I’m taking from this is to chase my own happiness. If I want to listen to a 5-year-old Katy Perry album and drink a hard cider instead of doing homework, that’s my prerogative. I will allot time for my responsibilities, and maintain my work ethic, of course. But when I look back on the past few years, some of my best and most cherished memories are spontaneous moments. Detours.
Detours are inconvenient, to be sure, but they allow you to reach the exact same destination. The past 5 years of my life have been a giant detour. I should have graduated from college in 2013. But if I hadn’t made the mistakes I’d made, and strayed from my path, I may never have met the love of my life and his incredible family. If I hadn’t dropped out of private school, I may never have discovered my passion for whole foods and cooking. If I hadn’t left a stable job that made me unhappy, I may never have ended up in retail/fashion.
Some of us stay on the straight & narrow our whole lives. Some of us are late bloomers. I’d argue that neither approach is “better”. Because we all arrive at the same destination: happiness.
October’s arrival is the bell that tolls the reality of the fact that I’m getting married. In a year. And nothing is planned.
I may have mentioned this here before, but I’m not a “wedding-oriented” person. Or even an event-oriented person. I skip the company picnic and the school dance. I’ve always been more of a fringe character, someone who has delighted in observing rather than partaking.
This is different, though. Balancing social expectations with familial obligations with personal desires seems like a disaster in the making. How do I reconcile wanting a traditional bridal shower and getting all the gifts with NOT walking down the aisle, writing my own tear-inducing vows with potentially taking my husband’s last name? How do I reconcile my life-long passionate feminism with my legitimate desire for a life that enacts traditional gender roles?
My wedding has unofficially been dubbed “Indecision 2016” because it’s the only way I can describe it. I know what colors I want to incorporate into the décor, but I don’t know when the hell this event is even going to take place. September? November? Tomorrow? Never?
I’m so fortunate that every day, even in my worst moments, I can glance at my left hand and know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am loved, valued, and protected. All I want is an occasion that reflects the warmth and happiness I feel every day. The Wedding Industrial Complex doesn’t seem to promote the values that matter most to me.
My 8-year-old niece said, hilariously, tonight at dinner, “It’s her wedding, let her do whatever she wants!” As wonderful as that sounds, I wonder how authentic I can be to myself, when evil forces like “money” and “family” come into play.
I’m sure everything will work out. I’m determined not to get stressed out or become a Bridezilla.
How could anything that makes me this happy be bad?
The month of September has been a whirlwind! I started full-time school again, so I’m busy 6 days a week. As a life-long dilettante, the adjustment has been difficult for me. Things finally seem to be falling into rhythm, and I’m confident that I will be able to drop a mic on this semester in December.
A week and a half ago, I suffered a *very mild* head injury/concussion at work. It was nothing serious…an evening bag fell on my head. As in, those little clutches you carry to a wedding? Yeah, most embarrassing injury ever. My head still hurts though. There’s a huge tender spot, like a bruise I can’t see, that kills every time I touch it. But other, more positive stuff has happened recently, such as:
September 5, 2015
I went to go see Chelsea Wolfe. I mentioned that I was going in my “July & August faves” post, but man, was it a show. I am the WORST at going to concerts, as in, I want to fall asleep pretty much as soon as the opener comes on. However, I’m so glad I fought through my yawning and perked up for Chelsea Wolfe. She destroyed. She did a ton of new stuff, so we recognized almost every song. Fig bought ALL of her albums, plus a sick hat, at the merch table, so now I’m positively rolling in Wolfe-goods.
Less than a week later, I got the unbelievable pleasure of seeing the formidable Dengue Fever in concert! I never would have thought I could dig music with Cambodian lyrics so much, but I am so down! Nimol put on the vocal performance of a lifetime. It might be one of the top 5 shows I’ve ever been to. We were so close to the stage!
Now that the cooler weather has begun to arrive, this little jerk has become ten times more cuddly. Hanging out with us all the time, curling up with us on the couch, crawling under the covers and cuddling with us in bed…it’s sublime. I truly never thought I could be a cat person, but here we are, almost 2 years later, and I love her more every day.
Oh, and this other thing happened this month…
I bought my wedding dress! This isn’t it, but this was one of the runners-up. I can’t believe how fortunate I was to find such a beautiful gown for an absolute steal. It was everything I wanted: stark white, plain, and ON SALE. Music to my ears. Now we just have to do things like “set a date” and “book a venue”.
Of course, no outfit is complete without shoes. My fiancé is almost imperceptibly shorter than me. He doesn’t mind if I wear heels, but out of respect/embarrassment, I chose flats. And what could possibly be more me than Keds for kate spade new york?
Keds for kate spade new york champion glitter in silver
My weddings colors are black and gold, but I plan on wearing all white and silver/white gold in contrast to the décor. So, I splurged and got these. I saved megabucks on the dress, so why not spend an unnecessary $80 on sneakers? Seems totally reasonable, right?
Anyway, just checking in with the blogosphere! I have a ridiculous minestrone recipe to share this week, and I’m excited to start sharing all of my wedding progress when it, y’know, eventually starts happening.
Della Bites 