Cooked

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image cred 

I know it’s (probably) a relatively small subset of the population, but as a millenial gal doin’ it for herself, I just do not identify with my homegirls that don’t know how to cook. Occasionally I come across whispers of this in the blogosphere—”Every time I try to cook I almost burn my house down!”—and I don’t understand the impulse to brag about one’s incompetency. I don’t shout into the void about how much I sucked at Pre-Calculus.

This is not a gender issue, by the way. It’s not about girls or women, and I am not policing how someone should be a woman. Men are often even worse offenders, which is why I’ve never understood how chef-dom is such a boys’ club. Some people are just too damn busy to cook, and that’s fiiiiine. But you have to know how. Just the basics! How does one make it through adult life without such a basic skill set?

I, personally, can be excessive. Cooking, for me, is a hobby and a complete joy. I woke up at 5 of 7 the other morning and made doughnuts. I understand that this impulse is not normal, nor should it be. But I don’t exactly come from a point of culinary privilege. I baked with my grandmother as a tiny kid, but my mother didn’t sit me down and painstakingly instruct me in the art of soup-making or whatever. I learned (and continue to learn) everything I need to know from books and the internet, starting when I was about 18 and became interested in providing for myself.

My fiancé on the other hand—oh boy. I often wonder how he keeps from starving to death when I’m at work. His mother, the wonderful minha sogra, is a badass cook who continues to frequently send food over, so he never had to learn. He once literally fucked up while making tea. He poured the water through the whistle hole in the spout and wondered why it made a dribbling mess.

How and what people feed themselves has long been a fascination of mine. I’ll read or watch any book or documentary about the food industry, cooking, or food culture that I can get my hands on. As I’ve often said, Michael Pollan is my Elvis.

Making the time to cook is the only way to gain complete control over your nutrition. I want to know the source of everything I put into my body. I can’t advocate for cooking enough. But don’t listen to me! Listen to some of these smart people who know things!

Further reading/watching:

In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, Michael Pollan

This book changed my life. I think I was 22 when I read it, and newly living with Michael. As the chef of the house and primary food-provider in general, I was cured of so many bad habits by Pollan’s prose. Pollan is not a vegetarian, but advocates for a predominantly plant-based diet based on years of research. He’s written a ton on the subject, but this book goes into the FDA, “food science,” and marketing.

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image via Michael Pollan

He also has a Netflix docu-series called Cooked that is so inspiring!

The motto? *Drake voice* “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

Eating Animals, Jonathan Safran Foer

Not for the faint of heart. If you like your pets, you might come out of this read a vegetarian. The backstory is that JSF was about to become a father and, saddled with the new responsibility of feeding a living, breathing, separate human, went out and investigated the food industry’s impact on us, animals, and the environment. The nice thing about this book is that it’s not preachy, at all. At no point does explicitly advocate ditching animal products from your diet. It’s a just-the-facts-ma’am presentation. I use the chapter on the fishing/trawling industry constantly as a justification for why I don’t eat seafood (other than its vile taste and smell).

Skinny Bitch, Rory Friedman & Kim Barnouin

Skinny Bitch has definitely been put through the ringer, and at this point in my life, I’m not completely down with their message (they recommend imitation meat products, which is so beginner-level and not my style) but this book woke me the eff up when I was a teenager. I am aware that advocating for thinness is behind the times, but the title is misleading. It’s a book about veganism, health, and the heinous conditions of factory farming—the inflammatory title just created a buzz (smart marketing). A note: this book was published before everyone started carrying almond milk, so take their suggestions with a grain of salt.

Memorable quotation: “Soda is liquid Satan.”

What else should I check out?

Happy reading!

—DellaBites

Vegan Tempeh Bacon

Love bacon but hate the inhumane slaughter of one of Earth’s smartest and cutest creatures? Me too!

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image via google
I’m not going to sit here and act like I’ve never eaten or will never again eat a pork product. I don’t eat pork, but unless you personally make every single meal you eat, there’s really no way to 100% know. I’m not perfect! But pigs are very awesome, so until I convince my fiancé that a pet pig is a really good investment, I’m just going to eat all of this vegan “bacon” in one sitting.

Here’s the deal: I love to cook, but I’m also deeply passionate about recipes involving fewer than 5 ingredients with 20 minute prep/cook times.

Vegan Tempeh “Bacon”

makes 4 servings (or 2, because let’s be real)

1 pkg. tempeh

1 tbs olive oil

1 tbs soy sauce

1 tsp liquid smoke

Preheat oven to 400. Combine liquid ingredients in a small bowl. Slice tempeh as thin as you can, trying your best to replicate the shape of bacon. Thinner slices mean crispier, cruncher “bacon” (this is obviously the best way to eat it, screw anyone that likes it soggy). Thicker slices are heartier and more Canadian bacon-esque. Lay all of your slices on a piece of parchment paper on a cookie sheet (no need to grease the paper), and brush on your marinade. Bake for 7-10 minutes, depending on your oven (mine has a convection bake setting). Take the cookie sheet out, flip your slices, and brush the marinade on the other side. Bake for another 7-10 minutes, this time checking to make sure the pieces haven’t burned. When you take them out of the oven, they’ll be sizzling deliciously. Let them cool for a couple of minutes and enjoy!

My favorite way to enjoy these are between whole grain toast with mashed avocado! Or for omnivores, add a fried egg & melted Swiss to the above equation.

Happy baking!

—DellaBites

P.S. Sorry there are no process pictures, but this is so quick and so delicious that they were gone before I could even grab a camera!

Tunesday

World's tiniest herb garden.
World’s tiniest herb garden.

Despite my literal green thumb (courtesy of Essie Mojito Madness), I am notorious for killing every plant I come into contact with. That’s why the fact that these little buddies are still kicking is an immense personal triumph. Thankfully, my boyfriend is more thoughtful and attentive than I am–he’s their main source of water.

The weather was super gloomy in the Boston area today, so comfort food and comfort music are absolute essentials. For dinner, I’m preparing a braised lentil dish, adapted from an incredible recipe that can be found here: Braised Lentils & Vegetables.

It’s simmering away on the stovetop right now, and the whole house smells like soup, which is basically happiness manifest. I also picked up a bottle of vinho verde at Trader Joe’s, and, as an aspiring Portuguese person, I’m in bubbly heaven right now.

Lentils, carrots, celery, and onions soaking up some Pinot Grigio.
Lentils, carrots, celery, and onions soaking up some Pinot Grigio.

Much like the smell of soup can evoke feelings of warmth and contentment, there are certain pieces of music that can feel like wrapping a soft blanket around yourself. Lately, I have not been able to get Sufjan Stevens’ “Eugene,” from his most recent album, Carrie and Lowell, out of my head. It is 2 minutes and 24 seconds of pure sweetness. Despite the heavy Christian imagery and influence in much of Sufjan’s music, his genius art has resonated with me deeply for the past ten years. The new album is so spare and haunting, yet imbued with so much hope and positivity. It is so vulnerable and human that it almost takes on its own life. “Eugene” finds Sufjan reminiscing about his childhood upon the death of his stepfather. Despite the gravity of the subject and the yearning refrain, “I just wanna be near you,” the song is strangely uplifting. Or maybe Sufjan is just tricking us with major chords. Who knows?

In any case, it’s worth listening to “Eugene.” And then buying Carrie and Lowell. And everything else he’s ever released. Hey, Asthmatic Kitty, can you hire me for PR?