Gadget Gift Guide

Full disclosure—I am about the least tech-y person on earth. I didn’t even get a Kindle until like two years ago. However, boy, do I love a gadget! This gift guide could really apply to any kind of person, but given that I own at least a version of every single item on here, it is pretty tailored to a person…exactly like me. But, in fairness, don’t we all have a basic, millennial white woman in our lives? The prices range from $15 – $150, so whether you’re doing a Secret Santa or buying for a significant other, I’ve got your back!

For the Kitchen

  1. Dash Egg Cooker ($) – I’m obsessed with this thing! It makes perfect soft or hard-boiled eggs every time in minutes, and it comes with attachments to make egg patties for breakfast sandwiches or poached eggs. Truly the best $15 you’ll ever spend, unless of course you’re a vegan.
  2. Immersion Blender ($$-$$$)- This is the best thing I’ve ever owned in my life. The KitchenAid version is super budget-friendly and will pay for itself 100 times over. From potato leek soup to bulletproof coffee, this magic stick will puree basically anything, all without dirtying a blender pitcher. I will caution you NOT to try to blend ice cubes with it, though…I learned my lesson the hard way, and now my limited edition pink base has a white blender arm. It’s…colorblocked! If it’s in your budget, I’d opt for this set—everything you could ever need!
  3. Mandoline Slicer ($ – $$$) – I consider myself to have pretty excellent knife skills (thanks, chef Joe G from my former workplace!), but my chops (get it??) don’t come close to what this baby can do. I linked the one I have, but there are tons of options, even some as cheap as $15. So, true story: in my usual hubristic manner, I tried to use this slicer without reading the manual…it was such an epic fail (though I somehow managed not to harm myself!) that I let it sit in a drawer unused for about three years. But I finally braved it again (this time armed with the manual) when I started making these pickled onions and now I am a total convert. Is it just me, or are uniformly sliced vegetables kind of sexy?
  4. Milk Frother ($$) – This is the simplest way for even a home-coffee novice to get gourmet results at home. This is the updated version of the one I have, but there are definitely cheaper options available (this was another wedding registry score). In addition to making lattes/cappuccinos, I use this to make hot chocolate and to reheat my coffee (way more delicious than using the microwave).

For the Bedroom

  1. White Noise Sound Machine ($$) – I am the world’s lightest and worst sleeper. I won’t say this cures all of my ills, but it’s a huge help in blocking both indoor and outdoor sounds that could disturb your sleep. My husband is a night owl (his circadian rhythm is literally vampiric), and I can’t hear him in the house at all when I have this thing going. The model I linked is amazing since it whirs like a fan and has a consistent hum—it’s totally natural and easy to tune out. And it comes in pink, which is the most important thing.
  2. Weighted Blanket ($$) – This doesn’t technically qualify as a gadget, but it’s another must-have for my insomniac brethren. I can’t believe how much it prevents me from tossing and turning. I have this one (throw blanket sized), since my husband hates it and wants it nowhere near him. They come in a variety of weights, at a variety of price points. In a perfect world, I’d have a 30 lb weighted comforter that would basically crush me to death.
  3. Something NSFW ($ – $$$$) – I mean, this is a category of gadgets for the bedroom. Ahem, might I suggest this one? Make sure to do your homework and buy from a feminist, inclusive shop like Babeland or Spectrum Boutique!

For the Home & Office

  1. Light Therapy Lamp ($$) – Do you get crippling seasonal depression when nature steals the sunlight away from us? Then this is the gadget for you! I blast this thing at my face for hours a day, and I think it’s really helping. These come at a variety of price points, but they’re generally really affordable!
  2. Wireless Keyboard ($$) – When I started working from home, my back and neck started killing me from crouching down to work on my laptop 8 hours a day. I got this wireless keyboard and mouse set so that I could set my laptop back on a riser and it’s SO much more comfortable. The best thing about this specific set is that it has all the keys for a Mac and a PC, so it can be used with both.
  3. Bluetooth Speaker ($$$) – Investing in a quality Bluetooth speaker was a game changer for us! We have this one, which follows me from room to room, and this one, which stays centrally-located in our kitchen.
  4. Labelmaker ($$) – For the compulsives and organizers in your life. My labelmaker is what I would save in a house fire. I feel like I don’t even need to explain this one—you get it or you don’t.

For the Ladies

  1. Curling Wand ($$) – The curling wand is the one hair tool I could never live without. The one I use most often was a hand-me-down that retails for only $20, so this is absolutely something you don’t need to spend a lot of money on to get results. I just bought this one and can’t wait to see how it works! The bigger the barrel the looser the curl, but most wands are tapered so you can easily give your curls dimension.
  2. TENS Machine ($$ – $$$$) – *infomercial voice* Do you get debilitating menstrual cramps that make you want to commit a homicide? Then Ovira is for you! There are actually tons of different TENS machines online, some specifically marketed towards people who menstruate. Pain meds like ibuprofen are actually terrible for you and should be avoided if possible—I tend to vomit them up because they upset my stomach—so I was totally game to find an alternate solution to my misery.
  3. IPL Hair-Removal Handset ($$$ – $$$$) – I was a skeptic, but now I’m a believer. I haven’t finished the treatments yet, but I’ve already seen a drastic difference. I know, feminism, hair removal is bad, blah blah blah, but I’m sorry, I’m not going to change in this lifetime. Not having to shave every day will literally add years to my life. This is the one I have, but they’re available for as cheap as $90.
$25 and under$
$50 and under$$
$100 and under$$$
> $100$$$$

Sunday Scaries: Father’s Day, I Guess?

Morning! From the title, it may seem like I’m ambivalent about my father (hardly the case), but I am deeply ambivalent about “Hallmark holidays,” because I am a joyless person. Mother’s/Father’s Day just feels like a marketing scheme for bougie brunch places, my favorite of all the places that I’d prefer not be clogged with toddlers while I’m trying to enjoy my mimosa. See? Joyless! And now I’ve made myself crave a mimosa, though I have neither orange juice nor sparkling wine. Chardonnay and lemonade? Y/N? (I’m writing this on Saturday morning, so it’s not out of the question that I may nip off to the store.)

Speaking of the store, I still haven’t returned to grocery shopping, but I plan to resume in the very near future. I have gone to Target briefly a couple of times. I hate wearing the mask—it gives me so much anxiety and for some reason, I clench my jaw really tightly underneath. Is that a thing? But obviously, as I’m not a MORON WHO DOESN’T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, I rock a mask 100% of the time I’m out in public. Which brings me to my next gripe:

People BE going to restaurants with outdoor seating and not wearing masks! What the actual hell? I have been isolated in my house for 100 days! Do you know how emotionally difficult that is for someone with depression? I’m simultaneously living my best and worst lives, missing my friends and family, for what? So that a few absolute knobs can cause a spike in infections that keeps us home until I’m in my mid-thirties? Absolutely not! I haven’t been able to get my teeth cleaned or my glasses prescription updated, but you can have fried clams overlooking the beach? Please eject yourselves into the sea.

Have I complained sufficiently? Haha, it feels good to be back on this, my public private place to talk to myself.

Screen Shot 2020-06-20 at 12.55.34 PM
source: printsandgiggles on etsy

  1. This piece about self-love by Aisha Mirza is really moving.
  2. Eric Andre’s new special drops Tuesday and I couldn’t be more excited. If you want a teaser, check him out on Good One: A Podcast About Jokes.
  3. This leather goods shop on Etsy is magical. Please give me one of everything, and please do not lecture me about the ethics of leather.
  4. I might actually die without a pair of hammered hoops from The Pink Locket!
  5. I found SPF 110, baby! I didn’t even know they made SPF higher than 100, but I was rewarded for my diligence! The sun can actually try to burn me! I’m using this face sunscreen, this body sunscreen, and this SPF 50 daily moisturizer.
  6. Speaking of my delicate skin, unable as it is to produce melanin, I have given myself over to the gods of Curology. A friend recommended it to me, as my prior attempts at skincare consisted of occasionally using an oil cleanser and forgetting to take my eye makeup off at night. It’s only been three days, so I’m not seeing a visible difference, but my skin feels really soft and I’ve actually started to maintain a nightly skincare ritual, which is a small miracle.
  7. Speaking of custom products designed specifically for me, I also caved and ordered Prose. I heat process my hair twice a week (or so) to varying degrees, I dye it, and my hair is naturally very curly and dry, so I’m giving actually taking care of it a go. I went all in and ordered the oil too, because why not? I truly can’t believe it took until I started going gray for me to actually give a shit about taking care of my hair, but there’s no sense in dwelling on the past.
  8. I have tentatively begun home workouts. I have a legitimate phobia of exercise or movement generally (I legitimately talk about this in therapy, it’s a long story). I have sobbed in gym parking lots, unable to walk in. I successfully completed this video without having a panic attack, so I’m going to see what else Miss Adriene has to offer. I’d really like to check out some body-positive yogis, so plz lemme know whomst to Google. I’m not averse to a paywall!
  9. Gonna have to purchase that one.
  10. Even though it’s 14,000 degrees out, I was in the mood for a really big Cab the other day, so I tried out Bread & Butter‘s. When I drink reds, I tend to like them less bold, like Pinot Noirs, but I began my wine journey as a Cab girl and I’ve gotta honor my roots! Also, we’re chilling our red wines, right? The hill I will die on is that we all drink whites too cold and reds way too warm.
  11. We finally bought *actually good* Bluetooth speakers and it has been a game changer. We got this one for me (super portable!) and this one for our house. In addition to awesome sound quality, they’re such fun pops of color against our mostly black-and-white decor. And big bonus, they have a “party mode,” so you can play music from both of them at the same time. Surround-sound!
  12. I’ve been on something of a health journey lately; without going into too much detail, I’m trying to be more mindful about food and making sure I’m actually nourished. I customized a May Designs notebook to keep track of my meals, water intake, and, yes, exercise. It’s super cute, and I feel like it will be something I keep reordering.
  13. And of course, last but not least, a tribute to all the dads out there.