Where Are Ü Now

I credit my newfound love of this blog post’s title song to Jay Pharoah, who crushed it pretty hard when I saw him at the Oddball Comedy Fest on September 9! He did a similar bit on the Goddamn Comedy Jam though, so don’t be too jealous of me, guys.

But we’re not here to talk about Justin Bieber! We’re here to talk about Mara Wilson, former child actor and current writer of books!

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photo via the ol’ google

Mara Wilson’s Where Am I Now? (tongue-in-cheek title AF) dropped September 13, and I obviously pre-ordered it because A. fangirl, and B. pre-sales go towards first-week sales, which put books on the NYT Bestseller list! There’s an Ilana Glazer blurb on the front of this book, so you know it’s dope.

Wilson chronicles what it’s like to grow up in Hollywood (literally: she grew up in Burbank which is a few miles north of the actual Hollywood, CA), having starred in major productions since the age of 5. She’s a girl whose real name you may never have known; you may have just known her for the past 20 years as “Matilda.”

I first reacquainted myself with Mara several years ago, through Twitter & Tumblr. She’s a really insightful writer, and not afraid to share #realshit, like her OCD (the real kind, not the not-so-charming colloquialism). Existing as a child in the business we call show is no joke, but Mara relates her experiences with humor and sincerity. A particularly moving excerpt is “Writing Robin,” Mara’s touching tribute to Robin Williams.

It’s so refreshing to hear a young woman talk frankly about herself and her sexuality without self-deprecation or embarrassment, especially considering her early entrée into the world of adult content. Where Am I Now? is wonderfully frank—Wilson doesn’t shrink from exposing her dorky-ness; nor does she revel in it. She is able to present show-choir (à la Glee) as painfully silly while still admitting that it was the passion of her young heart. It’s a delicate balance, but Wilson straddles the line beautifully.

Were I to say more, I’d be gushing. Go buy this book. There is nothing sadder to me than the notion that changing career paths makes one a “hasbeen.” This book was written by a writer. Not a former child actor, not someone leaning on former fame.

Where Am I Now? is a triumph. 

What books have been giving you all the feels lately?

—DellaBites

Pod-Party Part 2!

Podcasts have become basically the most important part of my life, you guys. I hunger for more! But the two that I’ve fallen for in a big, big way since I wrote about this last are SMNTY & WTF. Acronyms!

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SMNTY stands for Stuff Mom Never Told You. It’s run by two dope queens (but not those 2 Dope Queens…), Cristen and Caroline. So far I’ve listened to the episodes on A Practical Wedding, A Feminist Marriage, Lady Libido Liberation, and the trope Lesbian Bed Death. This show is like having a conversation with your best friend (if you happen to be a woke-ass lady with woke-ass friends). It’s so refreshing to hear this sort of talk outside of the classroom. I try my damnedest to approach everything in life through an intersectional feminist lens, so hearing the voices of like-minded individuals is reaffirming. They recently did a series on rom-coms that I can’t wait to listen to!

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WTF stands, of course, for exactly what you think it stands for. Hosted by Marc Maron, who is one of my favorite comedians, WTF has some of the best guests in the game. Joanna NewsomAbbi & Ilana. Natasha Leggero. Ali Wong. It’s ENDLESS. Maron the show is based on his experiences doing the pod, and believe me, there’s enough material. WTF goes deep. I especially appreciate that Maron talks about his experiences as a man with an eating disorder, because that’s a large subset of the population that gets NO attention. As someone who has experienced disordered eating and still struggles, the episode with Nikki Glaser really spoke to me. I listened to it today, and it struck a damn chord. I was never in real physical danger (thankfully), but the mental state that accompanies eating disorders and food issues is intense, and it can manifest dangerously in a lot of other ways—reckless behavior, drinking, drugs, etc.

Oh gosh, look at me. Tryna talk about podcasts and delving into the darkness of eating disorders. For another day and another post.

Podcasts, man. As I’ve described them to my dad, it’s like NPR all day but 100% interesting all the time. But alas, my dad still doesn’t know what podcasts are. I’m not even sure he truly understands what an mp3 is. Either way, I’m so glad I discovered this *free* form of entertainment, finally!

Seriously, though: what pods should I be listening to??

—DellaBites

Pod-Party!

I’m newly obsessed with podcasts. I know, I know, I know. I’m about 5 years behind the time. Podcasts have existed for eons and I’ve just been wasting my life listening to music. Please leave your shade at the door and indulge me, goddamnit.

I’ve been listening to a few killer podcasts lately, some more than others, and yes, they’re mostly hosted by comedians because I have simple tastes, okay?

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image via All Things Comedy

I Seem Fun: The Diary of Jen Kirkman Podcast

Jen Kirkman (one of my favorite comedians ever) hosts a weekly podcast on the All Things Comedy network. It’s phenomenal. I can’t even really explain why hearing about her dietary restrictions because of her acid reflux problem is interesting, but it is. Maybe it’s because she’s a hometown hero (Bostonians ftw). I recently read her first book, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids, and I can’t recommend her Netflix Special enough.

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image via How Was Your Week?

How Was Your Week? with Julie Klausner

I’ve written previously about Julie’s perfect Hulu show, Difficult People, but it bears mentioning that she has one of the funniest podcasts in the game. Her voice (I mean that in the literal and the literary sense) is strong, sharp, and can make anything interesting—even her lamentations on the closing of the American Psycho musical. She’s not a super frequent poster (she’s got shit to do, people!) but whenever I refresh the podcast app and see a new ep waiting for me, I practically skip to my car and start actually enjoying trafficky commutes. Subscribe immediately!

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image via Loud Speakers Network

Plz Advise with Molly McAleer

Plz Advise is an advice podcast hosted by Molls, who you may know from HelloGiggles, 2 Broke Girls, Drunk History, or just generally being an OG blogger. Some of the reality tv-talk is lost on me, but the general advice given on the pod is actually pretty on point. Her guests are always charming and hilarious. Additional info: Molls has a *fire* Snapchat story @mollsofficial.

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image via Soundcloud

Oh Boy with Jay Buim

Oh Boy is an interview podcast sponsored by Man Repeller. Jay Buim, the host, is a great interviewer because he really lets the guest do the majority of the talking. He just guides with open-ended questions. The first one I listened to featured Tennessee Thomas from The Like and NAF!

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image via Man Repeller

Monocycle with Leandra Medine

Monocycle is another  Man Repeller podcast. It’s hosted by the creator of the site, Leandra, and it’s a stream-of-consciousness monologue about the topic of the week, which range from weekend outfits to IVF. It usually runs about 10 minutes, so it’ll take you no time at all to catch up!

 

What else should I be listening to? I just downloaded 2 Dope Queens because I loooooove those ladies. Send me suggestions!

—DellaBites

 

 

 

Linkies: Injury Duty

I hurt myself at work today. Of course, I wasn’t doing anything strenuous. I felt in perfect health. But all of a sudden, as I was reaching up, it felt like my back snapped in half. A doctor’s visit and muscle relaxers later, I’m still down for the count.

I feel betrayed by my body.

Luckily, there are other things going on to distract me from my misery.

Orange is the New Black just came back for its fourth season and gosh, did it deliver. I was skeptical at first with the direction of the narrative, but they came out strong for trans/black/prisoner rights, and I appreciated that s**t. Apart from John Oliver and the occasional Bernie Sanders speech, prison is out of the sight & mind of most Americans, but so many people are unjustly locked up. Prison is not a catch-all solution, and imprisoning someone for a b.s. offense (possession of small quantities of drugs, et al.) effectively ruins his or her life, perpetuating economic inequality and racism.

Will Butler and The Avett Brothers just put out new albums! Will Butler’s Friday Night and the Avett’s True Sadness both dropped in the past two weeks, and as we may or may not know from my incessant opinion-sharing, white men are good for one thing and one thing only: dropping bomb-ass records (hyperbole, but, you get it).

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This. Darn. Avocado. Bag. Betsey Johnson is killing it! I usually find her bags a bit too literal, but avocados are my forever love, and I don’t care how basic that is. It’s available on Modcloth too. I managed to score it for way cheaper before Amazon wised up to the hype.

Tomorrow, I’m going to my fave professor’s house to help her move. Yes, I’m in blinding pain, but I can always cart things back and forth. Going to people’s houses always inspires me to bring my A-game. Homemade chocolate chip donuts? Obviously. Plus, I get to meet her new baby!

July 4th is upon us! Nothing’s set in stone, but fiancé and I might be headed down to the beach to celebrate. I get the dang day off! I have a hella cute Kate Spade bathing suit on hold at work for the occasion. One-pieces forever.

And last but absolutely most, is Hamilton. As in Alexander. Yes, it’s a Broadway smash. Yes, I’m late to the party. But I never could have anticipated how amazing it is. I wept openly during multiple songs. It is my life’s blood. I haven’t listened to non-Hamilton music in five+ days. Why would I? Hamilton is a perfect musical. I lust for the day it will be broadcast on PBS, and I will never, EVER delete it from my DVR.

What inspires you lately?

—DellaBites

Difficult People

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Difficult People is possibly the best show (not) on television, and you’re going to pay the $11/month no-commercials Hulu+ fees to watch it this summer.

Season 2 comes back on July 12th, and I couldn’t be more excited. The guest stars they’ve announced alone! Lin-Manuel Miranda! Tina Fey!

If you haven’t yet watched Season 1, it’s 8 triumphant half-hour episodes. You can easily marathon that on a rainy day. DP combines the mile-a-minute pop-culture reference pace of 30 Rock with the unmistakable Julie Klausner voice you know and love from her book and her podcast, How Was Your Week? (I listened to the newest episode this morning—Julie’s podcast is what got me to even care about podcasts! Only like, 5 years late to the party.) I’ve watched the series 3 times and it completely holds up.

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Actual queen, Gabourey.

Billy Eichner plays a subdued version of himself (or at least the Billy we see on his perfect TV show, Billy on the Street), that is no less quick, clever, and hilarious. Gabourey Sidibe is the show’s crown jewel, starring as Denise, Billy’s boss. But Arthur, played by the sensational James Urbaniak, might just be my favorite character (other than Julie, because of the insane levels of identification). Buzzfeed actually published a listicle about all of the quirky nicknames Arthur has for Julie. Every day that I come home and find that my fiancé has not magically turned into Arthur Tack is a day that’s basically not worth living.

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If you like making fun of militant atheists, NPR, and understudies, you’ve found your perfect show. Also, that Blue Ivy/R. Kelly joke in the first episode is high art.

So, there it is. My obsession with the work of the incomparable Julie Klausner laid out in plain view. Emmy voters—nominate Difficult People for all the Emmys.

images via TV Guide

DIY not? Vinyl Storage

So, guys—I did a DIY and it did NOT turn out horribly!


I recently bought my first record player (yes, at age 24, shut up). I only have 4 LPs so far (because of the Spending Fast), but they have such pretty artwork that I just needed to display them. When I saw this Photo Ledge DIY on A Beautiful Mess, I knew I’d found just the thing.

Rilo Kiley’s The Execution of All Things & Eisley’s Currents
Since we redecorated our living room, there’s been an awkward patch of bare wall underneath our faux-mantlepiece that I’ve been dying to fill up with some art. When I saw the DIY on ABM, I figured I could make the space work double duty as a place to store my tiny record collection.

Jenny Lewis’ Acid Tongue & Belle and Sebastian’s If You’re Feeling Sinister
Of course, I messed up along the way. My power drill is from Ikea—I lovingly call it my “drill for girls.” Not having the right tools for the job was a major roadblock that turned this into a day-long, rather than an hour-long project. Also, Home Depot is a confounding labyrinth—we spent way too long searching for supplies. But all in all, I’m proud that I made something useful with my own two hands.

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Sanding like a boss.

After I assembled the wood, I primed and painted the ledge gold, because all gold everything, obviously. I asked my father-in-law to come over with his drill to hang the shelf, et voilà—stylish record storage! I’m so inspired to work on more projects because of how successfully this one went.

Can’t wait to share more DIYs!

—DellaBites

Crush Crush Crush

Damn, Chelsea! Back at it again with two posts this week!

I know. I’m trying to be better (she says to her non-existent audience).

I thought I’d share a few of my product crushes this week, which is somewhat ironic since I’m *truly* trying to save money. Tryna pay those college loans, you know?

Things I’m crushing on this week:

These. Motherflipping. Sunglasses.: I’m waiting for this style to come back in black because I am ON IT.

 

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I mean, c’mon. Daily inspiration to slay the game.

 

This whole gosh-dang collection: Of COURSE it’s sold out. I feel like I’m being punished by the hip-hop gods for wanting merely to receive some of Rihanna’s essence.

P.S. Still shippin’ Ri & Drake SO HARD.

 

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TFW you can’t rock pink fur slides like RiRi.

This collection too, because I am a weak garbage-pail of a person. Beyoncé is everything. Beyoncé is so everything that it feels trite even writing this sentence. If anyone’s going to get me to do hot yoga in a bodysuit, it’s Bey. How do I justify buying all of this?

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This book, which arrived in the mail today because I pre-ordered on Amazon. I’ve been reading Anna’s blog for years, and she finally has a book out! I can’t wait to revel in her brilliance. I wish I had the stones to do a Spending Fast. Hey, when those student loan payments kick in, I just might have to!

 

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image via And Then We Saved, quote via the queen of all things

 

This book TOO. I am counting down the minutes until I graduate because my books-to-read pile is getting way too tall. Augusten Burroughs has been one of my favorite writers since the love of my life (aka my college friend, Brian) introduced me to his work circa ’09. I can’t wait to see what he’s been up to lately—from the articles I’ve read, it’s bound to be a juicy read.

This book THREE. Jen Kirkman is my spirit animal. She once liked my tweet about a Nirvana song, and that’s really all I need in this life of sin. I don’t own her books yet, but they’re in my Amazon cue—you’re next, Kirkman. Her Twitter feed is basically Feminism 101—check that shit out.

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And finally, this song. The Sirius XM station we’ve been listening to at work has been playing this on the reg, like they don’t even understand that I’m grieving. It’s so hideously cruel. But regardless of my personal Prince feels, this is the jam.

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What’s littering your online shopping carts lately?

—DellaBites

all images via Google unless otherwise noted

 

Bad Bitch Alert: Jessica Jones

So many spoilers are about to follow. Just so you know.

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“Chels, you just watched Jessica Jones? Do you even Marvel Universe, bro?”

Shut up, I know. I know! I should have been worshipping at the altar of Jessica for months and months. But the important thing is that I watched the show and I am forever indebted to its creators. Two of the baddest bitches alive just entered the (streaming) television arena: Jessica Jones and Trish Walker.

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Jessica Jones combines romance, mystery, action, and gore in a way that manages to *not* be sappy, cliché, or gross. And while I’m skeptical it passes the Bechdel test (a lot of Trish & Jess’s conversations center on the takedown of Kilgrave) it’s still packed with refreshingly feminist moments.

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MARVEL'S JESSICA JONES

 

My best friend pointed this out to me, so I won’t take credit: Jessica’s broken door. She shoves an irate client through the glass in her front door, and for the majority of the series it remains broken, a symbol that the fight for Jessica (and for women) is not just physical–it’s mental. For Jessica, who has super-strength and can take on any intruder, the threat is that Kilgrave might retake control of her mind. And, applied broadly, although physical violence is something that women are still very much in danger of, the most insidious elements of sexism are deeply imbedded in the collective psychology of our era. I mean, take my #QUEEN Hillary Clinton. Can you believe the shit people say about her? Can you believe the shit other women say about her? All human beings are flawed, but I guarantee you, if there were a male Hillary (that hadn’t already been Pres twice–I see you, Bill), Democrats would be licking his/her boots. (PS Not tryna be political, I love Bernie too! #Dem4Life)

The point here is, really, that Jessica Jones showcases badass bitches who learn fucking Krav Maga to take down serial-killing supervillains. It’s the realest.

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BUT, I will say that I am a weak, weak individual. Every Whovian that I talked to SWORE that Kilgrave would be a believable villain. But when this sociopathic, murdering rapist said “I love you” my only emotional response was “I love you too, Ten.” My David Tennant feels are too strong. I’m actually bummed that he won’t be back for season 2. Maybe we’ll get flashbacks of that sexy Scotsman.

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Season 2 can’t come soon enough. As if we didn’t love Krysten Ritter enough from Don’t Trust the B. Now she’s Marvel-legit.

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***By the way, I’m not shilling for Netflix or anything, but honestly, it’s 2016. I’d die before paying for cable. It’s cheaper to just have Hulu + & ‘flix. And Amazon Prime. What a glorious, privileged world we live in.

****All photos culled from Google searches. I take ZERO credit and give mad props to the artists/photogs that made these images.

 

Dreams

My lifelong dream has been to work from home. As a child, that meant becoming an author. I loved to write and was praised often for my ability. But things change and interests fade; as I got older (and social media blew up), I began to prefer the straightforwardness of the “blog” style, which also allows for a wide breadth of topics to be discussed in a single medium. Also, there’s an instant gratification to social media that is absent from traditional publishing. Beyond this, I truly don’t know if I have an original work of fiction in me! I read a lot, and the amount of detail in most of the fiction I read must require exhaustive research! When it comes to research, I prefer hands-on experience (such as trying and failing at replicating recipes or making pieces of art), to the academic type of research which requires databases and journal articles.

Basically, blogging is my dream job. There are just a few problems with turning an obscure hobby into a real job.

  1. Successful blogs marry stunning visuals with substantive content. Well-designed websites are my kryptonite. As a millennial, I evaluate a company or individual’s worth by its visual presentation. When a company takes time to hire out artists and graphic designers, or a savvy blogger learns Photoshop and InDesign herself, it is an indication that her product or persona is important to her and worth the extra investment of time or money. Good web design makes the content of the blog or website more accessible (and therefore more useful) to the reader, contributing to the success of the site.
  2. It takes time, money, or both to create a site worthy of traffic. Confession: I don’t even own a camera. I desperately want one, as photography is a huge interest of mine, but committing to a purchase of upwards of $500 is terrifying to a student. I would spend $500 on new tires for my car because that contributes to my overall safety and well-being. But to spend big money on something I want rather than need is daunting. The cost of maintaining a website is reasonable (I’m already doing that), but the investment of time comes at a price. Not only does one have to learn (or hire out) great web design and provide engaging visuals, but one has to have the time to create the sites content. DIYs take time. Writing essays takes time. Researching topics of interest in order to successfully do those things takes time. Hell, even outfit photos take time! There’s the photography, photo editing, image uploading, posting of affiliate links, etc. It takes a full-time job to afford to create content, but it takes a whole lot of free time to actually create it.
  3. Sometimes you have to fail a few times in order to succeed. Nobody is perfect; even though the lives of bloggers may seem perfect, they are real people with real flaws. That food blogger might have ruined 3 casseroles before she found the perfect bake time and temperature. For the layperson who dreams of entry into the blogosphere, the idea of failing, and potentially wasting time and money as discussed above, is scary! Most of us don’t have the resources to accept failure. It takes a very determined person to persevere through that, and not all of us are programmed with such self-confidence.
  4. Committing to a life off the beaten path requires an enormous leap of faith. If you, like me, have a family that would never understand why you quit your job to run a blog full-time, then you understand the stranglehold that traditional values have upon most of us. I can only speak as an American (specifically a New Englander), but you’re supposed to perform well in high school, go on to a competitive college, make Dean’s List, graduate with mountains of debt, somehow immediately proceed into a lucrative career, get married, buy a house, and procreate. Almost no one actually does this, yet your individual failure to do so is met with disapproval at every turn. Personal example: I was encouraged to go into nursing when I was in high school. I hate being around sickness, I’m disgusted by blood, and I excelled in humanities rather than the sciences. I would be the world’s worst nurse. I would be absolutely miserable every day of my life. But nursing is practical, noble, reliable work, so despite the fact that I would basically want to kill myself every day, my family did their best to encourage this path. I was raised with the understanding that work is an unpleasant means to an end. You need to earn enough money to lead a normative life that wouldn’t be judged by other successful people. That…sucks. Faced with such opposition, you have to believe in yourself or your product to your core in order to shirk tradition and make your own rules.

It’s not all terrifying, though. The freedom to wear whatever I want every day is almost enough motivation for me to make the jump! Working from home, blogging, or other non-traditional jobs aren’t for the lazy: you have to hustle and work your ass off to make a living, but in truth, there’s no one I’d work harder for than myself and the little family I’m making.

So, how do I do it? I’ve scoured the internet for advice that all seems impossible and daunting. I’m barely managing a job, school, and a home as it is. But that desperate hope to make my dreams come true never leaves the back of my mind. When people ask me what I want to do with my life, I either lie or say nothing. How do you put into a simple sentence everything that I’ve said here? I guess the only way to put it is: “I want to work for myself.” I want to create my own future and establish my own standards. I want to succeed on my own terms. I have no desire to be rich. I’ve honestly even given up on dreams of world travel. I just want to go to bed every night knowing that I followed my heart.

I think that’s the new American dream.

Happy New Year

I know what you’re thinking: “Wasn’t New Year’s like, 2 months ago?”

Yes, it was. But not for me. I’m a lifelong sufferer of major depression, and the winter is the hardest season for me to get through with my head up. But, here in New England, it seems the sun has finally returned to us, and even though it’s still cold enough to snow, the vibrant energy of springtime is looming.

Earlier in the month, however, I suffered an extreme depressive episode. I’m medicated, so it was fewer crying jags and more general numbness. I couldn’t care about anything. I let my schoolwork, my job, and my relationships suffer. Wedding planning halted. I was in a really terrible place. After about 2 weeks of basically being housebound except for shifts at work, I decided that I needed to do whatever possible to pull myself out of my depression (hopefully, once and for all).

So, I made some changes. The first thing I did was give up alcohol. Cold turkey. I’ve blogged a little bit about drinking in the past. I’m far from a heavy drinker, but as alcohol is a depressant, it seemed counterintuitive to add depressants to depression.

I also started aromatherapy using Monq diffusers. I touched upon them in a recent post. They’re amazingly relaxing, and I highly recommend them!

I started going to bed really early (and trying my damndest to get up early). Going to bed earlier is easy—it’s the getting out of bed that I’ve always struggled with. I didn’t have much success with this until this morning. I’m hoping it continues!

I gave up caffeine after 3 p.m. This was a fairly arbitrary time choice, but it has worked wonders. I had no idea how much my caffeine consumption was affecting my sleep. Coffee doesn’t make me jittery or energetic, so I foolishly thought that I was immune to its effects. Wrong! My mind was jittery and energetic—shutting it off was impossible! No wonder I was having frequent nightmares! I switched to herbal tea—ginger with honey & lemon to be exact, and it has had a marvelous calming effect. It’s also great for digestion!

Upon the advice of a coworker, I started saying “thank you” more, and smiling when I did it. Just because I don’t personally need the validation of being thanked doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good to validate and appreciate others. This alone has really brightened up my moods!

And finally (and most importantly), I KonMari’d. What the hell is KonMari, you ask?

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image via google

KonMari is the nickname of Japanese organizational guru, Marie KKondo. She is a genius. I started reading her book, The life-changing magic of tidying up, on Friday, and I’ve already been able to improve my quality of life. I can’t do tidying up justice in a blog post, but suffice it to say that it advocates basically getting rid of 2/3 or so of what you own, and only keeping those items which “spark joy”. That’s a fairly vague criterion for most, but as someone who values her intuition deeply, it is now the only criterion by which I evaluate my possessions. I’ve donated a ton of stuff already to my local Savers, as well as sold my nicer clothing on consignment or through Poshmark. I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me that my apartment didn’t have a storage issue—I had a hoarding issue! Honestly, how many sweaters does one woman need? Do I really need to keep all of my old exams and class notes? Fuck that. I feel so liberated from the burden of things. I hope to keep up the minimalism for the rest of my life! Being exclusively surrounded by items that give you joy is inspiring and mood-lifting.

So, that’s my personal recipe for winter survival! What tips do you employ to keep yourself sane during the colder months?

–DellaBites