Week Links [21 January]

We did it, Joe. We have a new President. Yesterday was emotional, I’m not going to lie. Even though I am absolutely a dirtbag leftist who did nothing but hate on Biden and Harris during the primaries, I feel renewed by this change. Biden’s been in office for 5 minutes and he has already rejoined the Paris Climate Accord, reversed the Muslim ban, and halted deportations, so things are in motion. Now if we could just implement Medicare for All, cancel student debt, and 1000x more importantly, reunite the families separated at the border…

Regardless of the ultimate outcomes achieved by this administration, I’m proud to have cast a vote for Biden in a free and fair election that toppled a wannabe autocrat. And now for a blog post that has nothing to do with any of that.

  1. Amanda Gorman floored me at the inauguration. I immediately pre-ordered her upcoming children’s book.
  2. My guilty pleasure show, The Resident, is finally back for a new season (Fox/Hulu). I knew intellectually that a show that takes place in a hospital was going to have to do a COVID plot, but I still hated it! We watch television to escape, people! The first episode is honestly triggering. What’s worse is that they cover my boyfriend, actor Matt Czuchry, in PPE the whole time, so you barely get to gaze upon him. A damn shame. Luckily, they decided to do the rest of the season in a post-COVID flash-forward, so I can continue to be ride-or-die for this questionable show.
  3. Just bought this wall hanging for my office after a long search for “the one.” Can’t wait to share pics when the refresh is complete!
  4. I also got this love seat and this lamp, which are the official finishing touches on my office.
  5. A friend recommended The Roommate by Rosie Danan to me and…a good time was had by all.
  6. I’m never not on a quest to refresh my bedding, and I am feeling this duvet. I ultimately went with this set, since I’m not Anthro-rich. I added this blanket, which may be the softest thing I’ve ever touched.
  7. All of the nail polishes at Target were on clearance for $3 for some unknown reason, so I stocked up on a bunch of tenoverten. Also, on the subject of non-toxic nails, ella + mila has amazing lavender-scented non-acetone remover.
  8. Dyed my hair with Overtone’s Rose Gold for Brown Hair and it is…vibrant. I kind of wish I’d gone with the subtler version, since my hair is pre-lightened, but I’m sure it’ll fade. It’s a coloring conditioner, so it’s non-damaging. My hair feels really healthy!
  9. Snagged these adorable flats at Nordstrom Rack. It doesn’t count as crossing the picket line if I get them off-price…right?
  10. January 19th was Dolly Parton’s birthday, and I’m genuinely incensed that we haven’t declared it a federal holiday yet. We don’t deserve her.
can we briefly discuss miche’s fit?

Quarantine Mega-Post: Updates, Libera Giabuchi, We’re All Gonna Die, etc.

Well, the entire world is on fire, and not for the usual reasons. Things are hideously bleak at present and, apart from sewing some masks and making some donations, there’s literally nothing we can do about it except stay at home and not touch our faces. We’re kind of living in Station Eleven, and yes, that is the justification I will eventually use for performing Shakespearean monologues on Instagram stories.

My family and I are doing really well, and as yet, no one we know has been affected by COVID-19. I’m so fortunate to still be able to work remotely (I love my job and wish I could gush about it but I would like to keep it private so that I can, y’know, keep it). My husband is also able to work from home, which we didn’t initially know would be an option, so we’re really thankful.

I’ve been making an effort to shower and get dressed every day, to preserve a sense of normalcy, even if the shower doesn’t come until 3pm. Everyone keeps posting about snacking all day long, but I’ve actually been having the opposite problem: I keep completely forgetting food exists. We’re not panic-buyers, but our fridge and freezer are STOCKED with healthy stuff (we also have an adequate amount of toilet paper—Trader Joe’s has it!) I’m hoping that my reduced calorie intake counteracts my absolute lack of any physical activity whatsoever. I actually danced last night for over an hour (if you’re a millennial, I highly recommend throwing this song on and going absolutely buckwild). I’m trying to use this time to improve my home (I ROYGBIV’d my bookcase) and myself (I’m crushing DuoLingo French checkpoints like a frat boy crushes p—I’m sorry, this is a family blog). As of yet, I have not done anything fucked up to my hair, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

this pano looks really odd, but there’s a support pillar in front of my bookcase so, oh well.

Before I get into my usual frivolity, I just want to say that, if you’re like me and you’re still earning an income, do whatever you can to support your community. I made a donation to my local food bank, and I’m looking for other ways to lend a hand during this crisis. One positive outcome of this might be the increasing radicalization of society, proof that nothing ethical can exist under capitalism. Comrades Fran & Britney certainly seem to agree! But in the meantime, schedule Zoom happy hours, get into that book you’ve been meaning to read, organize your bathroom cabinets, take your meds, and remember to eat your fruits and veggies. I think we’re going to be in here for a long, long time.

I love and miss you all. If the worst happens, please play this at my funeral, and make sure David Hyde Pierce is on the keys.

La Musique

Gaga’s “Stupid Love” is the best thing she’s put out since “Applause,” don’t @ me.

RIP to The Gambler. This video made me sob! I’ve listened to “Islands in the Stream” 100,000 times this week because I like to suffer!

Of Montreal, Tame Impala, Best Coast, Mandy Moore, Justin Bieber and probably lots of other people have just put out albums so go listen to them!

I made an Apple Music playlist of the trashiest pop from when I was a kid (late ’90s/early ’00s) and it is giving me life.

This is my most-listened song of quarantine. I guess you could call it optimism. We do not deserve Ariana Grande.

Ariana Grande | Houston Toyota Center
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Les Filmes

Can’t wait to go absolutely HYPEBEAST for Self Made, starring ACADEMY AWARD WINNER OCTAVIA SPENCER.

I read the book years ago, but I finally watched Room and oh my GOD. Brie Larson WERKED for that Oscar, honey. Also, Jacob Tremblay is a star the likes of which this world rarely sees and I simply have to stan.

I watched both To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You this week because I’m a crazy person!

Autostraddle hath come thru!

La Télé

Stop what you’re doing and watch Feel Good on Netflix. Right this instant! I won’t spoil anything, but…Lisa Kudrow.

I binged the entire series Dollface on Hulu and loved it! It has a similar magical realism element to Jane the Virgin.

Have you watched Living With Yourself on Netflix? I’ll watch literally anything with Aisling Bea. It’s really strange and wonderful!

I watched Taylor Tomlinson, Fortune Feimster, and Pete Davidson‘s comedy specials last week. Yeah yeah yeah, Pete Davidson. It was fine.

Wassup!: Niles Crane has the last laugh
niles crane’s jawline has absolutely cut my gems

I literally can’t stop watching Frasier on Hulu. How can Frasier Crane be so amazing whilst Kelsey Grammer is such a monster? Also, can someone please diagnose what it is in me that is deeply sexually attracted to Niles? Please see the following works of Daniel M. Lavery: “Sophocles’ FRASIER,” “Niles Crane And The 1930s-Era Character Actresses Whose Spirit He Confusingly Embodies,” “Niles Crane Is…” (Actually, y’know what? Just Google “Shatner Chatner Niles”).

I’m like hours away from doing a full Gilmore rewatch, I can feel it.

I’m pretty sure The Nanny is going to be on a major streaming network soon (per Fran’s Twitter) and I’m gagged. Give me all of the nineties fashion!

Les Podcasts

Ding dong, Las Culturistas is back!

Marc Maron’s interview with Ronan Farrow is fascinating. What a brilliant man—a true millennial icon.

My queen and idol, Julie Klausner, put out a new How Was Your Week? AND announced a new podcast with Tom Scharpling, Double Threat. A mitzvah in these dark times!

Should I just cave and become a Punch Up the Jam patron? I’ve easily listened to over 50 episodes at this point. My husband and I both lost it for several minutes yesterday during the bridge of the “Freak on a Leashepisode.

Les Romans

I bought the audiobook of Cameron Esposito’s Save Yourself. Cameron is one of my favorite comedians and I daily mourn the loss of Put Your Hands Together.

I’m trying to read Silas Marner along with my tutoring student and wow, only 18 months out from earning a literal Master’s degree in Literature and my brain has atrophied to Jello. I’m going to try to make a concerted effort to get through some classics in quarantine. I’m thinking Jane EyreAnna Karenina, and Brideshead Revisited, since I already own them.

La Mode

So, Everlane is canceled. They vindictively laid off their newly-formed union of remote workers and uh, wow, fuck you, guys.

If I find out this company SUCKS too, I’ll return them, but I am trying out these pants because it appears that no company (including Everlane) makes dress-pants for what I’m generously calling my hourglass shape. Also, of course they went on sale after I bought them. Will report back on fit for my thicc chicks ❤

Also, I have bought myself another handbag, and I need to stop, but just so you know, I keep them forever and display them when not in use because they are my precious babies. Also, handbags have way better resale value than most stuff online, just sayin’. Here’s another recent purchase that’s a particular fave, and the best computer bag ever.

I found an Etsy shop I love! I got these belly rings (1, 2) and these conch studs (1, 2). Unfortunately, I’m an idiot and forgot that my belly piercing is 14g, so I might try to exchange but these things are seriously gorgeous.

Chez Moi

I’m reorganizing my house, call it early Spring Cleaning, and this shelf is going above my kitchen counter. It’s so cute and perfect for me that I can’t believe I didn’t personally design it.

I’m a huge, huge fan of Method‘s cleaning products, but their Heavy Duty Degreaser is an absolute lifesaver. I am not about to use conventional cleaning chemicals on my stovetop, a surface that a. is exposed to fire and b. is where I prepare our food, so finding this more natural alternative that really works was a gamechanger. I buy mine at Target or Grove.

After years of searching, I finally found the perfect throw pillows.

Chelseas can have a little home improvement, as a treat. Since Governor Baker basically shut down Massachusetts (I’m not complaining!) I have purchased this chair and this rug. Soon my entire house will be monochrome pink and I’m not mad about it.

Le Mélange

If you’re not following nostro repersona di colore dell’esperienza italiana, Giabuchi, you are not truly living in these times. Considering what’s going on with coronavirus worldwide, especially in Italy right now, Jaboukie’s mild Italian shitposting is tremendously healing. Catch him before he gets suspended again for heroism.

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I loved this post about creating a reusable on-the-go car kit. When we’re finally out of quarantine, I really want to make a more concerted effort to be no-waste. Not being able to use reusable bags at the grocery store right now is killing me. P.S. The cutlery set Laura mentions? It comes in pink.

Discovered this shop last night and I’m intrigued to say the least.

And finally, have you checked out Bernie’s merch store? I got car magnets for myself and my husband—Medicare for All for me & Feel the Bern for him.

See you on the other side of this, fam.

Christmas Kind of Love

So, full disclosure—while I don’t identify as Christian (my dad’s fam is totally secular and my mother’s is lapsed Catholic AF), I L O V E Christmas. The opportunity to decorate my home with even more white and gold? Sign me up! I have two pre-lit trees—one I inherited from my mom (it’s green with colored lights) and one skinny 6′ rose gold tree that I got at Target before the 2016 election (that year was dark, so I decorated very early). I didn’t decorate last year because our house was under construction, so this year I went ham. But this is just a dry-run for next year, which will be over the freakin’ top. I’m already depressed about January coming and having to take down all my glitz. As long as it’s down by Valentine’s Day, I’m fine, right?

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That said, here are some holiday faves!

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Best Ways to Give Back

Around the holidays I go beyond my usual small monthly donations! Here are some of my fave charities and ways to give!

Planned Parenthood, International Refugee Assistance ProjectACLU, KINDNAACP, SPLC, Support the Girls, RIP Medical Debt, The Trevor Project, It Gets Better, ITMFA, and so many more!

Best Christmas Songs

My husband, the sweet angel of earth that he is, made me a curated playlist for Christmas called FIG for CHELS—Christmas Edition, because he is perfect. There are quite a number of songs on here I’d never heard before. “You’re a Gift” by The Both is my new favorite! And we can’t forget Holiday Soul Party!

I started compiling a Christmas album playlist for myself, but I got very, very lazy. Also, I work in a store that plays nonstop Christmas music (which I’m actually very here for) so I got my fill this year!

What’s your favorite Christmas song? Mine is “Father Christmas” by The Kinks!

Best Presents

  1. Gift a subscription! FabFitFun & Oui Fresh are my go-tos, but there’s also Birchbox, Ipsy, Dollar Shave Club and Harry’s (great for guys!), quip, graze, LOLA (because practical), Book of the Month Club, or Bark Box (for those weirdo dog people in your life!) I’d suggest streaming services, but tbh just give a friend your password if they don’t already have Netflix.
  2. Gift Cards to Amazon or Target—these will never not get used.
  3. What I call “The Cornucopia”—hone in on one interest and make a gift basket out of tiny items! If your friend is a writer, buy them fancy versions of everything they need—a journal, pens, notepads, sticky notes, stickers, washi tape, paper clips, you name it! Most people (not me, obviously), but most people won’t indulge themselves in that gold stapler or adorable jar of wooden pushpins because function > fashion. Useful gifts are always the best gifts, and tons of little gifts, imo, are better than one. I did one of these for my husband for our first Christmas together and those items are still floating around the house.
  4. A memory. This might sound dumb, but this is the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Example: I’m gifting my favorite professor a framed photo I took of the Bodleian Library at Oxford, because I first heard of it in his class and his support was the reason I got the opportunity to go there. I hope that, for years to come, he can glance over and think warmly about one of his favorite places.
  5. And finally, a free idea, since not everyone in the world spends money like a millionaire (guilty!)—a hand-written card or letter. Literally who writes letters anymore?! I’ve done this a couple of times for various events (sometimes accompanying a gift, sometimes not), and it always gets a great response. Not everyone needs external validation all the time (guilty!) but people love knowing how special they are to you!

Best Holiday Decorations

Anthropologie, West Elm, Target, Pier One, CB2, and Cost Plus World Market have reliably fantastic stuff, although you know ya girl got every damn thing from Target.

Best Christmas Movies

I am about to seriously out myself right now, but I’ve never seen Die Hard or Home Alone. I know. I suck. Truth be told, I’ve never actually even watched A Christmas Story from start to finish. I am not a movie girl (I blame the ADHD). I’m a TV addict—hit me with a Doctor Who or Downton Christmas special any day.

My personal favorite holiday films: It’s A Wonderful Life (true life: I was in a stage production of this when I was 16), the Mickey Mouse & Muppet versions of A Christmas Carol, the Jim Carrey Grinch, and of course, ELF, the best Christmas movie of all time.

P.S. Love, Actually isn’t actually that good, which is insane, because THAT CAST. And liking The Nightmare Before Christmas isn’t the same thing as having a personality.

Best Shows to Binge-Watch on Christmas Break

You probably only have a week off, so these are some shows you can absolutely finish before the new year! Snuggle up with your cats and watch these masterpieces!

Amazon: Catastrophe, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Netflix: Great NewsSchitt’s Creek, The Good Place

Hulu: Difficult PeopleThe Handmaid’s Tale

Best Audiobooks for Your Drive Home

Becoming by Michelle Obama, Everything’s Trash But It’s Okay by Phoebe Robinson, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Eric Idle, This Will Only Hurt a Little by Busy Philipps, Feminasty! by Erin Gibson, Shrill by Lindy West, So Close to Being the Shit, Y’all Don’t Even Know by Retta

Bonus Content: Chag Chanukah Sameach!

So, Hanukkah has been over for a minute, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t attempt to observe. I was too lazy to make actual latkes, but I did a run of potato soups as an homage to the culinary concept.

I didn’t buy a menorah because I kept thinking that cashiers would judge me for adding one to a cart full of sparkly Christmas garlands, but I have my eye on a few for next year—this one, this mod one, this gorgeous gold one, and this colorful one.

And good on SJ to give us a Hanukkah song that’s way better than Adam Sandler’s.

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I hope anything on this list is helpful to your holiday season!

P.S. Michael’s Christmas stuff is all 50%-60% off right now, so get thee gone.

P.P.S Send me #thoughtsandprayers that it doesn’t snow anytime soon.

Crush Crush Crush

Damn, Chelsea! Back at it again with two posts this week!

I know. I’m trying to be better (she says to her non-existent audience).

I thought I’d share a few of my product crushes this week, which is somewhat ironic since I’m *truly* trying to save money. Tryna pay those college loans, you know?

Things I’m crushing on this week:

These. Motherflipping. Sunglasses.: I’m waiting for this style to come back in black because I am ON IT.

 

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I mean, c’mon. Daily inspiration to slay the game.

 

This whole gosh-dang collection: Of COURSE it’s sold out. I feel like I’m being punished by the hip-hop gods for wanting merely to receive some of Rihanna’s essence.

P.S. Still shippin’ Ri & Drake SO HARD.

 

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TFW you can’t rock pink fur slides like RiRi.

This collection too, because I am a weak garbage-pail of a person. Beyoncé is everything. Beyoncé is so everything that it feels trite even writing this sentence. If anyone’s going to get me to do hot yoga in a bodysuit, it’s Bey. How do I justify buying all of this?

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This book, which arrived in the mail today because I pre-ordered on Amazon. I’ve been reading Anna’s blog for years, and she finally has a book out! I can’t wait to revel in her brilliance. I wish I had the stones to do a Spending Fast. Hey, when those student loan payments kick in, I just might have to!

 

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image via And Then We Saved, quote via the queen of all things

 

This book TOO. I am counting down the minutes until I graduate because my books-to-read pile is getting way too tall. Augusten Burroughs has been one of my favorite writers since the love of my life (aka my college friend, Brian) introduced me to his work circa ’09. I can’t wait to see what he’s been up to lately—from the articles I’ve read, it’s bound to be a juicy read.

This book THREE. Jen Kirkman is my spirit animal. She once liked my tweet about a Nirvana song, and that’s really all I need in this life of sin. I don’t own her books yet, but they’re in my Amazon cue—you’re next, Kirkman. Her Twitter feed is basically Feminism 101—check that shit out.

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And finally, this song. The Sirius XM station we’ve been listening to at work has been playing this on the reg, like they don’t even understand that I’m grieving. It’s so hideously cruel. But regardless of my personal Prince feels, this is the jam.

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What’s littering your online shopping carts lately?

—DellaBites

all images via Google unless otherwise noted