Tag: phoebe robinson

Week Links [9 September]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment
  1. The moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived! Get Organized with The Home Edit dropped on Netflix last night! As a rule, I don’t watch anything that bills itself as reality TV, but I can occasionally make exceptions! Home organization, organization in general really, is my greatest passion, so this is like pornography to me. I do worry that bingeing this will cause me to absolutely spin out and reorganize my entire home. I’m already looking at my shelves and drawers disdainfully. I will say that, as nice as the aesthetic component of organizing is, creating functional systems has genuinely improved my life and helped me with anxiety and executive function. There is no such thing as organized chaos. The most creative and successful people I know are organized (and diagnosed and medicated). You don’t have to put your books in rainbow order—The Home Edit is, to some degree, selling an unattainable fantasy. But creating systems that work for rather than against you will change your life, and maybe even spark a little joy.
  2. So, one truly kooky thing that’s been happening is that I’m starting to window-shop my own wardrobe. Like, remember those comfy flats you used to wear to work? Maybe one day you’ll leave the house again and get to put them on! I swear that, since work-from-home began, I’ve exclusively worn my Birkenstocks and my Rothy’s flats. I have not put on a single other pair since March 17. I mean this especially about the Birks, but if you’re going to spend too much money on a pair of shoes, these are the ones. I would exclusively wear Birkenstocks if I lived in a warmer climate.
  3. The TikTok teacher is my queen. Ban homework.
  4. My September Book of the Month is Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi. I loved Homegoing, so I’m sure it will be an amazing read. I actually cancelled BotM because I’m trying to practice what I preach and stop buying physical books unless they’re really meaningful or something I’ll return to over and over again. I obviously want authors to make money, but getting ebooks through the library is absolutely where it’s at.
  5. My best friend sent me this recipe and !!!!!!!!!!!! Deb’s mind!!!!!
  6. My husband bought me this ukulele for my birthday. I promise I’m not a 2011-era Zooey Deschanel type or anything, but if there’s a chord chart in front of me I can play. I do have a feeling that this will be relegated to the decoration realm, but it was very sweet of him and who doesn’t love a pastel rainbow?
  7. THEY’RE MAKING A FILM OF REBECCA STARRING ARMIE HAMMER. Ceci n’est pas un drill! My body is ready! I loved this book as a teen, and I’m re-reading it before the film drops on Netflix in October. The e-book is on Amazon right now for literal shekels.
  8. This is random, but I have an enormous monstera plant in my living room that was overgrown and out of control, so I cut some of the leafy stems off to use as decorations around the house. I expected them to have a shelf-life like flowers but…they simply do not die! I’ve had three in a vase in my bedroom for months that look as vibrant as the day I cut them off. Needless to say, when I discovered that they were immortal, I put them all over my house and now I live in a rainforest.
  9. Finally started watching I May Destroy You and…it may destroy me.
  10. The episode of Black Frasier with Chris Hayes and Clark Neily is a must-listen, if only to shock and amaze yourself by vehemently agreeing…with a self-professed libertarian. Also, THEE Phoebe Lynn Robinson creating a podcast called Black Frasier in these dark times is a gift we do not deserve.

Week Links [16 August]

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning, starshines!

T-minus 3 days until my 29th birthday. I will do everything in my power to not fall into a deep depression, but who knows what will happen when it actually arrives.? Anyone else get gloomy around their birthday? I don’t think of it as a celebration as much as a reminder of how little I’ve achieved in 12 months. Although, to be fair, for the first time I actually feel really good about what I’ve achieved this year, especially amid a global pandemic and the rise of American fascism.

29 signals the end of an era, albeit an era that mostly sucked. 28 was about getting a cool job that doesn’t make me miserable and about not being broke all the time; 29, I hope, will be about finding my joy. I’m sure that sounds like Instagram-wellness-influencer nonsense (it feels cloying to me, and I’m the one who said it), but for the first time in my life I’m in a period of relative comfort and prosperity (lol @ the idea that I have money,  I mean spiritual prosperity). I feel a sense of self and purpose that I’ve never felt before, although that could just be a general byproduct of getting older. I feel happier, calmer, and finally able to tackle the real, internal work of self-improvement and self-actualization. But mostly, I just plan on drinking less and watching more films.

Anyway, here’s what my rapidly-graying hair and I got up to this week:

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  1. If you live in Massachusetts, I urge you to vote in the September 1 primary. Outside of a VITALLY important Senate race, there are so many progressives running for local office. You absolutely love to see it! You can find your local candidates at this site. P.S. Vote Markey forever and ever, amen.
  2. I watched Knives Out and Midsommar on my recent “vacation” (both are streaming on Amazon Prime right now) and holy shit, 2019 was a great year for film. I cannot recommend them both more highly. It really put the iconic Ana de Armas Updates Twitter account into perspective for me.
  3. I ordered this pajama set in two colors. It is my goal to one day only have matching pajama sets. I feel like excellent home/loungewear is the next tier of adulthood that I must achieve. I also got this adorable set which is unfortunately sold out now. Lemons! So cute!
  4. I’m aware that this is insane, because I don’t eat meat or seafood, but how can I call myself a proper home cook without a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking? Even though I never use recipes because I am a terrible snob who thinks I have some sort genetic predisposition to cooking, I am a total cookbook freak. I just bought Nothing Fancy, and my wishlist overfloweth. If it seems like I’ve missed something…trust me, I have it.
  5. Coupling is on HBO Max. I don’t care if I’ve already talked about this. I loved this show in high school, and though it absolutely does not hold up 20 years later, it is a foundational text and tbh FRIENDS wishes it could have been Coupling!
  6. My local coffee shop uses these coffee syrups and they have to be the BEST I’ve ever had. They apparently only do wholesale, so do I have to open a café?
  7. Have you seen John Legend’s new video?? I won’t spoil it, but…[insert 20 crying emojis]. Congratulations to the best celebrity couple there is!
  8. I did buy the Kacey Musgraves candle, and lemme tell you—it does not disappoint.
  9. On the subject of spending wildly frivolous money, this weekend I did a double-feature of Phoebe Robinson on Good for You and Whitney Cummings on Black Frasier. They both talked so openly about their past struggles with money management and the ways their relationships to money changed as they got older. I’m really inspired by it. Money is freedom, so of course I should be saving mine! But I never want to have a toxic, miserly relationship to money that prevents me from doing the things that bring me joy and having fulfilling experiences. Balance.
  10. And speaking of better ways to use your money, please support the USPS by buying stamps! I bought these and these, and the best part was that I bought them using cash back I’d earned from all of my frivolous online shopping. That’s atonement.

Shout Out Sunday 5.5.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

*very Welcome Back, Kotter voice* Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! I’m cheating and writing this way in advance, so if the world blows up before Sunday, I didn’t know about it. I’ve been sick all week, so I have nothing personally interesting to share. Good thing it’s been a dope week for media! Check out the below! While you peruse, I’ll be girding myself for whatever chaos ensues in tonight’s Game of Thrones.

  1. Give this to me right now!
  2. I’ve been using this natch deo (that’s natural deodorant) and so far I’m super into it. It’s a subscription service with a refillable container, meaning it reduces a ton of plastic waste. I’ve long stanned for Native, but I think I’m a Myro girl now.
  3. I finally got around to watching Ibiza. Richard Madden is so good-looking it should be illegal. Pheebs was on the WTF Pod last month, so listen to that too!
  4. Just ordered this book and can’t wait to read it!
  5. A recent episode of The Resident took institutional racism in medicine to-muthafuckin’-task and it was glorious and devastating. A must watch.
  6. God Bless America.
  7. In case you missed this perfect tweet.
  8. Hey look, it’s a smart writer justifying my opinion that it’s a good thing no one really major died at the Battle of Winterfell. Also, some military experts explain why the Battle of Winterfell was just really poorly planned.
  9. Trying out this new lipstick  and I love it! Such a pretty red! Just make sure you exfoliate your lips with a sugar scrub first!
  10. Oh, duh, Phoebe Robinson is out on tour! Go get tickets!
  11. The new Sucré single, “Put Down Your Guns,” is out!
  12. Vampire Weekend’s new album is also out! What a great week!

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truly the most epic moment in tv history

See you next week, mi gente!

Shout Out Sunday 4.14.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Happy Game of Thrones Season Eight premiere day! I will not be watching with the rest of the world, since Michael and I are plugging away in season six, but soon I will be joining your ranks!

  • Maisie Williams accidentally dropped some spoilers….
  • This piece about who should win the game of thrones. Especially this section, by Katie Rife:

Yes, Daenerys Targaryen is the neoliberal of the A Song Of Ice And Fire universe, a charismatic but mostly policy-free figure who preaches peace and practices war. More specifically, she’s the Hillary Clinton of ASOIAF, riding her previous accomplishments on a wave of perceived inevitability into Westeros to claim the title she sees as rightfully hers. But you know what? Let her have it. Underneath her grand rhetoric about breaking chains and adopting entire populations, Daenerys is a practical leader, one who sees the virtue in surrounding herself with people who know what they’re talking about. She’s not one for feminine niceties, but what good will flattery do up against the likes of Cersei Lannister, let alone the Night King and his undead horde? She’s got advisors for that—like Tyrion Lannister, who makes a better Hand than he would a king, and would probably tell you as much if you asked him. Whether her promises of a lasting peace after all her enemies have been destroyed are real, well—that remains to be seen. But wouldn’t Jon Snow make a handsome king? Maybe he could take up baking cookies.

  • Just found out about this and I couldn’t be more excited!
  • I’m dreading having to do my laundry today (the worst chore), but this banger from Shakira’s 2001 album Laundry Service should help! This whole album is just about having small boobs, btw. Representation matters.
  • I’m going to see Phoebe Robinson at The Wilbur on her “Sorry, Harriet Tubman” tour and I’m stoked! Never seen her live!
  • Gimme this outfit.
  • Hot people are stressful.
  • I chopped all of my hair off, and I hate it, but the ends were like a bottle brush and it needed to be done. I’ll be obsessively searching Pinterest for growth tips. I’m going to try this—I’ll report back if I think it’s working!
  • Not to be a total downer, but you can text the Samaritans. You’re NEVER alone.
    • (877) 870-HOPE (4673)
  • It’s my friend Annie’s 25th birthday today, so join me in singing!

So, who’s your choice for who should win Game of Thrones?

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Have a great week!

Shout Out Sunday 12.30.18

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Hello! This week, I’m going to attempt to be less materialistic, since this list is usually my purchase wet dreams. With one exception everything on here is either free or personal. As I go into 2019, I want to be more mindful and creative—I want a less cluttered home and a less cluttered mind. I know everyone says this nonsense at the beginning of every year, but instead of setting firm resolutions, I want to be kinder to myself and just encourage myself to look within instead of getting external validation from purchases and other people. So, with that said, please enjoy this picture of Sam Weir, a true icon.

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pic via hello giggles

  1. I’m doing a no-buy January! Okay, so I have read Anna Newell Jones’s book already, but I think I’m going to reread it for inspiration. The idea is not to spend any money on anything except essentials and subscriptions that haven’t run their course yet, which for me are gas, groceries, car payment, car insurance, student loans (they kick in in April), Hulu, Netflix, my Oui Fresh box, and paying as much off my credit card balance as possible. I won’t be eating any meals out or buying anything new unless it completely runs out (shampoo, makeup, etc.) Katy Goodman from Vivian Girls and La Sera did a no-buy December which she talked about on her Instagram stories, and it was really inspiring to hear about her success!
  2. I finally watched the Freaks and Geeks A&E documentary and I ugly-cried the whole time. It is so inspiring and heartbreaking. Paul Feig wrote the pilot on spec, which almost never gets picked up, much less goes to series. So many people believed in that show (and also, Paul Feig is a genius). Plus, the mere existence of John Francis Daley fills me will an unimaginable amount of joy.
  3. Michael and I just rewatched the original seasons of Arrested Development and, my god, it is a perfect, perfect show.
  4. I am so excited to watch Dumplin’. I can’t even tell you.
  5. My friend bought me this for Christmas and I almost died.
  6. Okay, okay, I’ll talk about one purchase. I got this little bag for 30% at Madewell when it was first introduced and I absolutely love it.
  7. In the past week, since I’m OFFICIALLY done with school forever and ever amen, I’ve been writing more than I ever have. I’m working on a YA novel about a study abroad trip to Oxford (sound familiar), and a collection of personal essays. I wrote one this morning about the New York Times Crossword and living with bipolar, and I’m thinking of posting it here.
  8. Soup season is officially here! I’ve been making my minestrone non-stop…I have to post the recipe here! It’s a loose take on the minestrone recipe from the Thug Kitchen cookbook and I’ve never had better in my life.
  9. I’m thinking of changing the name of this weekly post. I’ve been doing it for a long time, and it’s starting to feel weird that I just named it after a song instead of coming up with an original title. So if you notice some random new post in your inbox, don’t be alarmed! It’s just me.
  10. I’m goin’ back to Tally the first week of February! I am stoked, dude. We’re seeing Neko Case at the Moon while I’m there! I can’t wait to gorge myself on a SoDough doughnut and tacos from El Cocinero! The best part is that this time I don’t have to fly into Jacksonville and drive over because I actually found a reasonable flight to the TLH airport!

Also, just a quick plug for my DePop and Poshmark shops! I’ll be adding a ton of new stuff in the coming weeks, so stay tuned! I’m @highwaytochel on both accounts, and I always take offers if you leave me a reasonable one in the comments.

In the words of the great philosopher, Phoebe Robinson, #ByeQBye!

Sunday Kind of Love xviii

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

I’m alive! That’s right, boo boos! This website is still a thing and I’m still a trifling bitch. A LOT has happened over the past few months, but I’ll summarize it in one sentence and you can infer the rest: I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on a mood stabilizer!!!

Exclamation points, you ask? Isn’t that bad news? No! It’s literally the best news I’ve ever gotten. Knowing is half the battle—finding the right counseling and drug cocktail to even me out is giving me hope and happiness for the first time in YEARS. Wednesday, when I met my psychiatrist (who looks like David Sedaris but without glasses), felt like the first day of the rest of my life.

So here is the first SKoL of my post-diagnosis life. Enjoy!

  1. Watch this from Season 3 of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
  2. Check out these necklaces, whose net proceeds go to Bring Change to Mind. I bought this one in gold and silver, because of course I did.
  3. The Madewell sale section is so good right now. Demon god, grant me the serenity to not bankrupt myself buying everything.
  4. Kelly Moore Bag is having a sale and I got this and this to add to my ABM collab bag.
  5. Lizzo is the single best person on the planet, but you obviously already knew that. She drags the haters to filth in this video, which had me dead.
  6. I’m listening to Phoebe Robinson’s new book, Everything’s Trash But It’s Okay, on Audible and friends, laughing out loud at the gym while doing cardio is really, really awkward, but worth it—Phoebe is a comic genius!
  7. My house is FULLY decorated for Christmas, and has been since the moment Halloween ended its reign of terror. The Target Wondershop is lit this year, and Hearth & Hand with Magnolia is giving me life. #thatfeelingwhenyou’renotchristianbutyoufuckinglovechristmas
  8. I can’t wait to watch Master the Mess, The Home Edit‘s TV SHOW! I’m going to binge the shit out of it once the semester is over!
  9. Oui Fresh put out new glosses! Meet Jelly Shoes, Central Perk, and Sabrina!
  10. Speaking of Sabrina, I haven’t watched Chilling Adventures of Sabrina yet, but I love Kiernan Shipka, so I’m definitely on board!

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Please enjoy this picture of my brother’s kitten, Sagan.

Catch you next week on another installment of Sunday Kind of Love!

Sunday Kind of Love xii

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Welcome back to another installment of my link roundup! I had to get new tires for my car this week, so I’m broke, but I’ll be fantasizing about all of these wonderful things:

I’m re-reading The Hobbit for my Oxford Fantasists class this July, and it’s so, so cute to read as an adult. It’s so clear how much Tolkien loved medieval lit.

Anyone else super excited to see SOLO?

I can’t stop listening to Margo Price‘s All American Made. She is the second coming of Dolly Parton, and this album is so, so good.

Give me all of the Caboodles. ’90s kid 5ever.

Cannot wait to watch Ibiza! Phoebe Robinson and Vanessa Bayer are my faves!

I want this light fixture like you wouldn’t freaking believe. This is on my purchase list for when I finally get a “grown-up job.”

I haven’t started The Handmaid’s Tale season 2 yet, but I’ve heard it’s amazing (and super dark). Dare I take the plunge?

I’m thinking of doing this to all the drawers in my house. Too much? #neverenoughorganization

I can’t seem to get enough of this song right now. Belle & Sebastian forever!

Not to get all downer-y on ya, but I started using this app a couple of days ago and I’m really liking it so far. Great for keeping yourself accountable!

 

catch u nxt wk!

-c

Pod-Party Part Trois!

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

It’s becoming deeply apparent that all I care about is podcasts. Free entertainment constantly at my fingertips? I’m a comedy junkie/nerd, so podcasts are an amazing way to get my fix without parking myself in front of the TV. I feel like I’m never not learning!

2 Dope Queens

2dq_1400x1400_nownycstudios_22 Dope Queens is tied with I Seem Fun for my absolute favorite podcast currently in existence. Hosted by Phoebe Robinson & Jessica Williams (of Daily Show fame), 2 Dope Queens is a stand-up showcase framed by Pheebs and Jessica’s banter. This podcast makes me laugh out loud while I’m alone. I’m sure other drivers on the road think I’m demented. I admire Phoebe & Jessica so much for the amazing successes they’ve had in their careers at such young ages (Jessica isn’t even 30 yet, y’all!) They are hilarious, badass women and they drink rosé out of champagne flutes that say “White Male Tears”. #stayhydrated 

I wish them many more seasons of success! I’ve discovered some of my new favorite comedians on 2DQ, like Jo Firestone and Jordan Carlos, and gotten to bask in the glory of some that I’ve long loved, like Gabe Liedman and Jen Kirkman.

Sooo Many White Guys

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SMWG is Phoebe Robinson’s other podcast, which wrapped its first season this summer. The mission statement, I assume, was for Phoebe to host an interview podcast that *gasp* only had non-white-guy guests! Notable guests include Gina Rodriguez (the queen of my heart), Roxane Gay (my fucking idol), Constance Wu, and Ilana Glazer. Each episode runs between 30 & 40 minutes, so it’s a perfect commuter pod. The women are hilarious AF but don’t shy away from getting into deep discussions about race & gender. The last ep of the season featured Mike Birbiglia, amazing human and token white guy! This is a must-binge pod.

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I’ve been reading the Savage Love column since, well, since I was way too young to be reading the Savage Love column. It’s printed in a *free* local Boston Arts paper, The Dig, which I always grabbed to read on the T in my younger days when I actually spent time in the city. Dan Savage has been a better resource on sex than my high school sex ed class, my parents, Tumblr, and actual field experience combined. What makes the podcast deeply compelling, aside from his thoughtful advice, are the top-of-show political rants and his amazing guests, many of whom are sex workers or porn performers. Without the Savage Lovecast, I wouldn’t have even known about California’s Prop 60 (vote no, y’all!)

The Lovecast comes in 2 sizes, Micro (with ads) and Magnum (ad-free, with more content). I’ve been slumming it with the Micro, but I may be upgrading because I can’t get enough!

Follow Dan on social media @fakedansavage.

Slate’s Dear Prudence

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Dear Prudence is a podcast hosted by my most favorite internet person, Mallory Ortberg. Mallory and Nicole Cliffe ran The Toast for several years, and have cemented their places in an esoteric feminist niche that wholly appeals to me. Even though The Toast shuttered in July, it’s worth perusing their archives. Some of the best #content on the internet.

The PrudiePod gives me the weekly dose of Mallory that I’ve so sorely missed. Amazing guest hosts include her mother and sister, as well as the ever-amazing Carvell Wallace. Mallory’s top and bottom-of-the-show rants sustain me.

Follow Mallory on social media @mallelis, and buy her hysterical book Texts from Jane Eyre here.

The Nerdist

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The Nerdist podcast is an interview show, hosted by Chris Hardwick (@midnight, The Talking Dead). Apparently he’s been doing it for 6 years! There are literally hundreds of episodes, so I obviously haven’t listened to all of them, but I have (predictably) listened to Jen Kirkman, Emily V. Gordon, and Samantha Bee’s episodes.

I didn’t listen to this podcast at first because, frankly, the whole “Nerdist” culture never appealed to me. I also find it ridiculous that The Walking Dead has a companion show. It’s not a good show. I don’t watch it because I don’t need to watch gratuitous violence, but my husband has seen every episode, and at this point he’s hate-watching. Can’t wait until zombies fade out like vampires did two years ago.

BUT, rant aside, Hardwick is a great interviewer and solid comedian. His most recent special, Funcomfortable, was a joy from start to finish (and you guys know that I don’t even care about white male comics, so that’s high praise). I look forward to many more car-rides with this awesome pod!

The Wilder Podcast

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The Wilder Podcast is a brand-new podcast hosted by Karsyn Dupree of Wildernessa (formerly Blissbranch). I discovered Karsyn a few years ago via the Instagrams of the Dupree sisters (of Eisley fame). Her personal story (unrelated to all things Eisley) and unconventional life path are so inspiring! I’m really digging the music she and her husband, Collin, have been putting out, so I was excited when she announced that she was doing a podcast! With the exception of Sherri Dupree-Bemis, I hadn’t actually heard of any of her guests, but they’ve been super engaging. They range from health coaches, to motivational speakers, to podcasters and authors. I love tuning in every week to hear badass ladies doin’ for themselves!

Follow Karsyn on social media @wldrnessa & @karsynkdupree.

You Made It Weird

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You Made It Weird is another Nerdist podcast hosted by one of the best guys in the universe, Pete Holmes. Pete, affectionately referred to in my house as Petey, is one of my favorite comedians and all-around thinkers. I genuinely feel that he’s a modern-day philosopher. He is brilliant. We were robbed of his TBS late-night show after only one season, because the world is a dark and unjust cavern of misery.

YMIW is super-duper long, like 2+ hours long, so it’s definitely a plane-ride pod. Amazing guests include Reggie Watts (literally the messiah in my household), Bo Burnham, Aparna Nancherla, and John Mulaney.

Gilmore Guys

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To be fair, I haven’t listened to every episode of Gilmore Guys. There are a LOT of them. In fact, they just recorded the very last one, for s7e22 of the show. But Gilmore Girls is my favorite show, so anything devoted to it deserves at least a listen. The premise is that Kevin is a long-time fan and Demi has never seen an episode in his life. They’ve been watching an episode a week for the past 2 years and recording a show devoted to each episode. They’ve had tons of cast members (Liza Weil! Scott Patterson! Sean Gunn!) on the pod, and they’ve gained quite a following. They even guested on an ep of my favorite educational podcast, Stuff Mom Never Told You. I can’t wait to go deep on this podcast on my next flight or long commute!

With Her

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And of course, I couldn’t NOT mention that Hillary Clinton has a podcast! Okay, it’s not hosted by Hillary (she ain’t got time for that!), but it’s about her and the campaign. I haven’t gotten a chance to listen to every episode, but the Bill Clinton one was marvelous. Bill could narrate the process of making toast and I’d listen. I such a rabid fan of Hillary Clinton, her policies, and her message. Voting for her with FERVOR tomorrow, and I suggest you all do the same. #yourprotestvoteisboring 

BONUS CONTENT (Can’t Get Enough)

I Seem Fun: The Diary of Jen Kirkman Podcast is currently semi-weekly! She has graced us with an additional half-hour of #content, called This Week Seemed Fun! It’s all the news stories that matter to Jen, and since I sometimes deeply feel like her millenial avatar, which I’m sure would horrify her, it’s all the news stories that matter to me. She’s been reading political articles at the end of her regular Tuesday show, so this is, to some degree, a continuation of that, except with aliens! Can’t wait for her Netflix special, Just Keep Livin’?, to premiere in early 2017!

So, what are you guys even doing with yourselves if you’re not listening to podcasts? Until next post, have fun!

**all images via the linked websites for each podcast

 

@DOPEQUEENPHEEBS

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

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image via Amazon

I almost don’t want to write anything about this incredible book, because how could my words do it justice? Phoebe Robinson’s You Can’t Touch My Hair (And Other Things I Still Have to Explain) is required reading (foreword by Jessica Williams, heyyy). My new life goal is to convince as many white guys as I possibly can to read it. I honestly think that, unless they are some woke-ass dudes that campaign for Hillary and listen to 2 Dope Queens in their spare time, there are lessons in this book that they most definitely need to learn.

You Can’t Touch My Hair, Pheebs’ ode to the experiences of black women, opens the door to what she calls “Black People Secrets” in order to present herself, and all black women, as the multi-faceted people that they truly are when unbound by harmful stereotypes such as the “Angry Black Woman Myth.” The book playfully and humorously exposes the ways in which women of color fight discrimination on multiple fronts. I mean, shoot, she gets attitude about her favorite band being U2, but no one questions my devotion to Kendrick Lamar? Ra ci sm. All joking aside, Phoebe tackles this unsavory topic with such finesse that by the end of the book, you’re cry-laughing and toppling the patriarchy simultaneously.

This book could not have arrived at a more appropriate time. Just a month out from the 2016 Presidential Election, the rhetoric surrounding race, gender, and sexual violence are as nasty and divisive as they have ever been (thanks, Twitter). I have seen Facebook comment sections that literally have comments reading, “UGH there is no such fucking thing as white male privilege.” LI TER AL LY this was a thing I actually read. I have to believe (for my sanity) that these comments are the products of sheer ignorance and not malice. I understand that, to a poorly educated (and by “poorly educated” I don’t necessarily mean not-having-attended-college so shush) white man existing in a situation that doesn’t exude privilege (i.e. financial not-so-good times, temporary layoffs, scratchin’ and survivin’) it can seem like he lacks the mystical pot-o-gold called “white male privilege.” But privilege is not the same as fortune. It is a privilege to drive a car in this country (not a right), but no one hands you a Tesla along with your renewed ID. (Men like cars, right? This is a thing?)

When faced with the realities of the disproportionate incarceration of people of color, the many recent fatal police shootings, and the appalling lack of representation of people (especially women) of color in positions of authority and in the government, the above understanding of privilege becomes even more crucial. If white men (and women, let’s be fair) can use this knowledge critically, they will learn that they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by hearing and valuing the stories of people of color.

This post was supposed to be about Phoebe’s book and not my #feels, but as they say the personal is political. Phoebe (loosely) frames the book’s narrative around hair, and throughout, hair becomes a beautiful metaphor. Hair is other. Hair is unique. Hair is something seemingly universal (almost everybody grows it, right?) that can impede or empower. Hair is heavily racially coded. Maybe if we can understand the implications of that, we can look at the bigger picture and move forward as a nation. Maybe this just reads like a feminist Twitter thread. Who knows?

Anyway, tl;dr, Phoebe’s book is a modern masterpiece and you should purchase it with money and then build an altar around it. Love you, mean it.

—DellaBites

Read an actual review of this book here. Order Pheebs’ book on Amazon here, listen to 2 Dope Queens here, listen to Sooo Many White Guys here, and follow her on all the social media @dopequeenpheebs.