Author: Chelsea Harper

Aspiring Food Network celebrity chef/Conan O'Brien. Incurable brunette.

Shout Out Sunday 6.2.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

‘Sup?! A lot of bullet points today, so we’ll get straight to it!

IMG_4117.JPG
i can’t believe we didn’t go to this place when i was in oxford. eternal regrets.
  1. ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE IS OUT AND IT’S PERFECT.
  2. I’m going to see Rob Delaney in August and I might actually die. He is one of my favorite living human beings. You’ve got to read his book, it’s incredible.
  3. Gimme this soup!
  4. I made this hair tonic (with almond oil, since it’s all I had), and it smells so fantastic! I don’t know if it’s actually working to make my hair grow faster but it’s not not helping.
  5. Currently lusting over these sneakers.
  6. This mask is coming in my Fab Fit Fun box and I’m so excited to try it! I’m trying to get more into masks. Self-care, baby.
  7. Everyone is obsessed with the show Fleabag but I just cancelled Amazon Prime! Legit cursed. I may have to reactivate…
  8. I’m pumped to watch the show Special! I listened to an interview with the creator (Throwing Shade!) and it seems like such a groundbreaking piece of television!
  9. Did you see Kate McKinnon on Billy on the Street?
  10. Should I try Bubly? Apparently La Croix is over.
  11. If you think for a second I haven’t started reading the books bc of withdrawals, you’re crazy.
  12. It’s bound to melt your heart.
  13. I swear to god if season 5 of Schitt’s Creek doesn’t drop on Netflix soon I will move heaven and earth!
  14. I am a sucker for marketing and I really want to try these socks out!
  15. My husband, Michael, wants to watch Mad Men next and I’m so excited. I haven’t seen an episode since the finale aired (RIP to my soul for enduring that bullshit).
  16. This article by the incomparable Grace Lavery is incredibly moving.

See you next week, mes animaux!

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

If you know me personally, you know that I am a bit of a freak for organization.

One of my long-term life goals is to start a professional organizing service, but unfortunately, with the popularity of Marie Kondo and The Home Edit, the market is a bit saturated (also, I have literally no idea how to start a business). A clean home/workspace brings me an immense sense of calm, and has been an invaluable tool in maintaining my mental health. Cleaning and maintaining a household is hard work when you’re severely depressed, but it’s just those little actions that can help to lift you out of a funk*.

I decided to compile some of the things that have helped me conquer the chaos, because so many articles online rely on the reader to buy expensive products or have limitless free time, and, babe, we’re not all IG influencers. I’m out of my house for work 50 or more hours a week. If you search “entryway organization” on Pinterest, you get images of million-dollar homes (I don’t know how much houses cost, to be fair). I don’t have the time or resources to have a Pinterest-perfect home, but that doesn’t mean I can’t love and cherish my space.

Here are some of my favorite tips, tricks, and products for keeping a chaos-free home!

  • Actually KonMari your house. I know it’s controversial because most people have hoarding tendencies (way to generalize, Chels), but it’s the first step in the process and you can’t skip it. If you’re drowning in things, you’ll never get a real handle on your home. This is a blanket solution to your too-much-shit issues, since it applies to every room and every category in the house.
  • Sell stuff! Selling your used clothes and bags on Poshmark or at consignment stores can make getting rid of things into a game. I know people who’ve had luck with housewares on LetGo. You might as well get cash money as a prize for organizing.
  • This article on how to deep-clean your fridge is totally invaluable. It’s got to be done! I guarantee your mayonnaise has expired.
  • The dollar section at the entrance to Target! This section varies seasonally—it could even have different products in it week to week—but it almost always has storage solutions like bins, boxes, and jars, usually in adorable colors. P.S. Speaking of storage solutions, The Home Edit just dropped a collection at The Container Store and it is #goals.
  • Do the dishes while you cook. Nothing is more discouraging than finishing dinner only to face a massive pile of gross dishes. The best hack for this is to…
  • Use dishwashing gloves! Using gloves in the kitchen has changed the game for me. You don’t have to touch any food remains or wash your hands fifty times as you clean. Even though I use natural cleaning products, I still worry about residue on my hands from cleaning sprays, so this has spared my hands a lot of grief!
  • Reusable bags for every damn thing. I bring a reusable bag or two with me every time I go into a store. These fit everything, and they fold down into practically nothing. People have an inherent tendency to hoard tote bags (guilty), but if you narrow it down to a few you really love and actually use them, you spare yourself ever having to contend with those gross plastic bags ever again.
  • *very Oprah voice* EVERYTHING GETS A BIN. These are my personal favorite at the moment—I took everything in my office and separated it into categories (stationery, notebooks, sentimental items, etc), and it has made things so easy to find!
  • Containers, dispensers! Decant all your stuff into reusable containers and then just buy refill packs or concentrates. If you have, for instance, your dish soap in a glass bottle, then you can tell at a glance exactly how much you have, and won’t be tempted to buy extra “just in case.” Look under your sink and tell me how many extra bottles of countertop spray you have.
  • Take inventory before every trip to the grocery store. Seems like a pain in the ass, but how many bags of lentils do you need? Utilizing bins, containers, and turntables in your cabinets and fridge will make this a total breeze. Also, this spice rack is a game-changer if you’re like me and have every spice known to man.
  • Laundry gets taken out of the dryer, folded, and put away on the same day. This may sound like a no-brainer, but if you set a pile of underwear on top of the dresser because you’ll fold it and put it away “later,” it’ll still be there in a week, minus the ones you’ve plucked from it to wear (am I the only person that does this?). Laundry is my least favorite chore because it is never and can never be finished, but the quicker it’s out of sight, the quicker it’s out of mind. If you hate laundry too, the KonMari is crucial—when you have fewer articles of clothing, everything has a clear and designated place, so putting away your clothes is a breeze. Maybe one of these days I’ll actually do a capsule wardrobe…
  • Set reminders on your phone to water your plants. This is a new thing I’m trying. Pick a day a week, or month, depending on your plant’s specific watering needs. I have let so many plants perish from negligence, including a spider plant my husband managed to keep alive for the better part of a decade. Dead plants kill the visual vibe of any space, but living plants are good for the air quality in your home and make you seem like a classy adult who has her shit together!
ACS_0226
this is why you’ve got to water your plants. look how droopy and lopsided he is! i’m hoping i can bring him back to life.

I’m sure I could come up with a million more tiny things I do each day to keep my living space under control, but the above are tried-and-true methods that have taken me from being an absolute slob (just ask my parents) to a person who’s fiercely proud of her home. If you live with a partner (or kids), it can be hard to adjust to new routines, but I promise that in due time, they’ll see the myriad benefits of a clean space and get into it too!

ACS_0227
too many drawer dividers is just not a thing.

I apologize for the quality of the photos—I just used my phone and didn’t clean up beforehand—I wanted to show pictures of my actual day-to-day house, post-organizational implementation. It’s never perfect, but it’s always colorful.

*In no way am I endorsing the idea that you can “cure” depression by cleaning your house. That’s nuts. But since small tasks can be so overwhelming to those of us who deal with these issues, accomplishing them can be genuinely uplifting.

Shout Out Sunday 5.26.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning, long weekenders! I needed this mini-vacation like you read about. I have no plans, which, it seems, is the best possible way to spend a weekend as an adult. I would like to try to get to the beach at some point, but considering the holiday, I might have to settle for the nearby pond. I hope you make the most out your days off!

Enjoy this week’s round-up!

ACS_0221.JPG
the namesake makes an appearance!
  1. It’s Memorial Day weekend, so watch this deeply moving episode of You’re the Worst. It gutted me.
  2. We’re all sad to see GoT go, but Barry has been renewed for another season! Bill Hader would never disappoint us. This article nails why the show is so effing good.
  3. I did it—I became a mystical bitch. Crystals, Tarot, you name it—sign me up. I had my first ever psychic reading on Sunday (I was in tears the entire time). I bought this fancy deck set and some stones for meditation at Open Doors in Braintree, and yeah, I’m signed up for the crystal meditation class on June 3rd, so see you there?
  4. I finally fixed my Instax Mini 8 (i.e. put new batteries in it) and I’m going to try to take more physical photos. I miss having actual pictures around! I’m pretty sure my cat, however, doesn’t appreciate me following her around like a paparazzo.
  5. I snagged Rainn Wilson’s book on clearance at Barnes & Noble and I’m pumped to read it. Dwight Schrute is my dream man.
  6. While I was at BN, I also picked up Tyrant by Stephen Greenblatt, which had been recommended to me by a professor, and of course, this absurd trinket.
  7. J.Crew sale is 50% off this weekend!
  8. You can’t escape frizz.
  9. I don’t know who needs this Twitter account, but you’re welcome.
  10. It’s a week old now, but have you seen Leslie Jones talking about the Alabama abortion ban on Weekend Update? 5 words: Leslie. Dracarys. That Bitch. Jones.

Have a lovely day off tomorrow, if you’re lucky enough to have one. And even if I’m not the world’s most forgiving person when it comes to this weekend’s theme (those planes tho), a Facebook friend shared this petition and it seems like a great cause.

See you next week!

 

Are you watching Barry yet?

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Whenever I bring up the show Barry, I am shocked that no one I know is watching it! Since the entire world watched this season of Game of Thrones, I know you all have access to HBO. So what’s the problem? Do you not like thrilling, dark, hilarious antihero stories? It’s Memorial Day weekend—you have the time to binge-watch a show about a fictional veteran.

cq5dam.web.1200.675.jpeg
photo source

Barry, created by Bill Hader and Alec Berg (of Seinfeld fame) is the tale of a Marine-turned-hitman-turned-actor trying to escape his life of misdeeds by pursuing a career in the arts. It’s glib to refer to gunning down innocents as “misdeeds,” but the slippery relationship between good and evil is exactly what makes the show great. Barry Berkman (stage name: Barry Block) is the best kind of antihero, because no matter how sinister his actions, we still want him to come out on top. It’s rare that a show can make an audience root for a man to kill a cop, for instance—later, even as we watch Barry in a flashback, overcome with rage, murdering a noncombatant in Afghanistan, somehow we fill with pity instead of disgust. The show has a lot to say about the power of emotion—and its absence.

In summary, Cleveland native Barry Berkman (Bill Hader) becomes a hitman in the employ of Monroe Fuches (Stephen Root—from Office Space!) upon leaving the military. Doing reconnaissance for an ultimately botched hit in LA, Barry stumbles into an acting class, is profoundly moved, and decides to quit the killing business to pursue acting. Disentangling himself from his life beyond the law proves trickier than anticipated—chaos ensues. Season two gets even darker. The show’s writers deftly fold so much into this morality tale—a critique of the narcissism and sexism of show business, a reverence for the power of storytelling, abuse, mental illness, and a scathing indictment of the way the military leaves its veterans.

Barry’s past as a Marine is a vital part of the show, because it makes clear, without ever explicitly stating it, how insidious and vile an organization we socially recognize as “good” and “honorable” can truly be. It’s hardly a secret that bloated military spending is a huge national problem, and that service can often mean the disruption or destruction of the lives of those enlisted, but what the show explores instead is America’s fetish for killing, its bloodlust. In a flashback to his deployment (“The Show Must Go On, Probably?”), the audience gets to watch Barry’s first kill, to see him discover his dark talent and be rewarded for his ability to turn off his emotions and take lives. In a moment that would shatter most people, well-adjusted or otherwise, Barry finds purpose and community. His soldier friends celebrate him when he “[takes] out a sheepfucker from 700 yards.” They rally around him and chant his name, seconds after he shoots three people for their dubious “suspicious activity.” When Barry leaves the Marines after, as acting teacher Gene Cousineau puts it, “Basically, you killed somebody and you got away with it” (“What?!), he claims that he “didn’t think [he] deserved a good life.” Fuches, a family friend, is there to manipulate the shell of a man left by deeply traumatic wartime experiences. The Barry that returns from Afghanistan is emotionless, blank—a trained and effective killer brainwashed to believe that his murderous capability is his only redeeming quality.

Barry’s ability to shut off his emotions entirely and kill make him a great soldier and hitman but later stunt his ability as an actor. It’s no coincidence that the writers chose acting as Barry’s would-be career—a life of robotically acting on orders (in the military and then as Fuches’ employee) has left Barry stagnant, depressed, and hollow. It’s only through inaction, or the purely dramatic rendering of actions, that Barry can tap into his emotions and start to grapple with the evils he has committed. Dramatic acting forces Barry to thoughtfully consider situations and juggle their emotional weight—he can no longer blindly act at the behest of a commander or boss. But the delicately nuanced show doesn’t absolve Barry of his many wrongs—it dances with just how innate Barry’s killing ability is. Barry doesn’t just carelessly point a finger at the military—it points a finger at America itself and the ways in which we encourage and facilitate senseless violence. As audience members, invested in our protagonist, we are complicit in condoning scores of murders, typically at least one per episode. We have become anesthetized to it.

In the second episode of the second season, “The Power of No,” Barry asks Chechen mobster Noho Hank (Anthony Carrigan), “Am I evil?” In perhaps the series’ finest moment of comedic delivery, Hank replies, “Oh my god…I mean, absolutely! Do I not tell you that enough? You are like, the most evil guy I know, man!” Barry replies, “You know, I take no pleasure in killing people. You know that, right?” But as Barry attempts to convince Hank, he doesn’t succeed in convincing himself. The show doesn’t provide an answer to the question of whether killers are born or made, but it does leave viewers with the creeping sensation that, under the right circumstances, they too could be Barry.

Both seasons of Barry are currently available to stream on HBO GO.

Shout Out Sunday 5.19.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Happy Sunday, friends! I wish I could say “Happy long weekend,” but alas, that’s next weekend. Here’s the stuff that “freaked my week,” and yes, I regret saying that.

IMG_4074.JPG
this picture was taken february 7th in st. pete florida. literally why do i live in the northeast?
  1. I finally started watching You’re the Worst and it’s a perfect show. Je suis obsessed. Chris Geere is my boyfriend. The Ferris Bueller discussion at the beginning of episode two is the very definition of *chef’s kiss*.
  2. Gimme dis vegan ice cream.
  3. I bought the damn Rothy’s and they’re incredible. Worth every penny.
  4. Last week’s Game of Thrones was TRASH—sound off in the comments if you’re as upset as I am, and as terrified for tonight’s finale. This thread is everything.
  5. Check out this trippy video for “Oh What a World“! And yes, I am a Kacey stan, sorry ’bout it.
  6. I don’t know if you saw the original piano Cardi B video, but he’s back with another one and it’s perfect.
  7. Wait for the cameo at the end of this video. My god.
  8. I know it’s basic to plug yourself, but I wrote this piece about Céline Dion 2 years ago and watching everyone on Twitter stan her so hard lately has made me feel like an honest-to-goodness trendsetter.
  9. I just placed a hold on Reese Witherspoon’s book at my local library via the Libby app. I listened to her interview on Sooo Many White Guys the other day and she truly is a boss.
  10. I don’t have a dining table (or a dining room for that matter), but these chairs are the most perfect things I have ever seen and I must have them.
  11. Is Chipotle cancelled?

 

See you next week! Or, y’know, sooner if I decide to actually write a blog post one of these days.

*My very smol dragon tattoo in the above pic (Smaug!) is courtesy of Oxford Tattoo.

 

Shout Out Sunday 5.12.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Good morning, friends! I know it’s…Tuesday, but Sunday was Mother’s Day, aka the worst day of the year, so I took a knee and bailed on the post. This week I’ve been reminiscing a lot about England, how fortunate I was to get to live there for the better part of a month. It was a dream come true, and I can’t imagine not recreating the experience again soon.

The rest of this post has exactly nothing to do with any of that, it was just on my mind.

Enjoy this week’s round-up!

IMG_2993
bath, england
  1. Johnathan Rice’s new album, The Long Game, is out!
  2. The Netflix show Dead to Me is SO GOOD. I can’t stop watching it.
  3. This article makes me want to wash my sheets twice a week.
  4. I am obsessed with this dress! I scored it on clearance in store for even cheaper (and during a 20% sale), so check your store to see if it’s in stock. Size up because Wild Fable is junior’s!
  5. Now that I caved and got Allbirds (I love them, by the way—they absolutely lived up to the hype), should I get Rothy’s? The pointed yellow ones are calling my name…and they’re washable!
  6. Boston is getting a new art museum!
  7. I cried just reading about the new Linda Ronstadt documentary. I can’t wait to watch it.
  8. Maris Kreizman wrote this devastating piece for The Atlantic and it nearly broke me.
  9. It’s been a week and I still can’t tell how I feel about this SNL short. Is it genius or the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen?
  10. I’m going to read this book next—I’m totally fascinated by French culture in general, but French motherhood is something I think Americans can really learn from.
  11. Is the velvet trend finally over? I mean, I’m going to keep a couple of pieces, but I’m glad to see it go. Like off-the-shoulder tops—what were we thinking? What do you think the next inescapable trend will be?

Until next week!

-chels

Shout Out Sunday 5.5.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

*very Welcome Back, Kotter voice* Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! I’m cheating and writing this way in advance, so if the world blows up before Sunday, I didn’t know about it. I’ve been sick all week, so I have nothing personally interesting to share. Good thing it’s been a dope week for media! Check out the below! While you peruse, I’ll be girding myself for whatever chaos ensues in tonight’s Game of Thrones.

  1. Give this to me right now!
  2. I’ve been using this natch deo (that’s natural deodorant) and so far I’m super into it. It’s a subscription service with a refillable container, meaning it reduces a ton of plastic waste. I’ve long stanned for Native, but I think I’m a Myro girl now.
  3. I finally got around to watching Ibiza. Richard Madden is so good-looking it should be illegal. Pheebs was on the WTF Pod last month, so listen to that too!
  4. Just ordered this book and can’t wait to read it!
  5. A recent episode of The Resident took institutional racism in medicine to-muthafuckin’-task and it was glorious and devastating. A must watch.
  6. God Bless America.
  7. In case you missed this perfect tweet.
  8. Hey look, it’s a smart writer justifying my opinion that it’s a good thing no one really major died at the Battle of Winterfell. Also, some military experts explain why the Battle of Winterfell was just really poorly planned.
  9. Trying out this new lipstick  and I love it! Such a pretty red! Just make sure you exfoliate your lips with a sugar scrub first!
  10. Oh, duh, Phoebe Robinson is out on tour! Go get tickets!
  11. The new Sucré single, “Put Down Your Guns,” is out!
  12. Vampire Weekend’s new album is also out! What a great week!
Tweets-About-Arya-Killing-Night-King-Game-Thrones
truly the most epic moment in tv history

See you next week, mi gente!

The Best Bags & Purses

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

So, as I announced a few months back, I’m not spending any money on non-essentials for the foreseeable future. I’ve certainly broadened the meaning of “essential”—for me, a meal out with friends every few weeks to catch up is really life-giving, so it’s essential to my mental health. In the past months, I’ve (somehow) managed to knock out over $2,000 of debt! This process has had highs and lows—anyone ever sent all of their money to pay off credit cards and forgotten about a scheduled charge that sent your bank account into the negative? Uh…me either. Overall, though, it’s been a lovely experiment and has really helped me build a healthy relationship with money.

So, back to the bags and purses. Part of the saving money journey has been selling things through Poshmark, so it’s forced me to take a good, hard look at my possessions and figure out which ones I’m keeping for function and which ones I’m keeping for status. My biggest area of weakness is handbags—they are my moon and stars. I have an enormous collection that I’ve had to pare down and sell. So, in essence, this list is what I decided to keep, what I decided to sell, and why.

I hope this helps your shopping journey! Please check out my shop, a lot of this stuff and way more is up for sale! I always take reasonable offers—I’m not afraid to haggle!

Love ‘Em

The Medium Transport Tote, Madewell

This bag is the GOAT. I would literally never dream of getting rid of it. I have it in a beautiful wine-colored leather. It doesn’t zip, so you have to be comfortable with an open-topped bag, but if you can deal with that, this is a fantastic bag. It’s nice and deep, perfect for a laptop, books, really anything you need. It has shoulder straps and a crossbody strap, so it’s versatile AF.

The Zip-Top Transport Carryall, Madewell

Madewell bags are just excellent quality. That’s how it goes. This one is a great travel bag—you can get a decent-sized laptop in there with little effort. You can cram all of your belongings into this thing and still zip it. It just has the standard compartments, but they’re big enough to actually accommodate your sunglasses case, pens, and other stuff you reach for all the time.

Le Pliage Nylon Tote Bag (Large), Longchamp

The #1 travel bag in all the land. This thing has gone to Mexico, Florida, England—it is the only bag I’ll bring on a plane now. It really stretches the limit of how much can possibly fit into one bag, while not seeming massive or suitcase-like.

Like ‘Em

The Transport Tote, Madewell

This bag definitely doesn’t work as an everyday purse but it works for everything else. The one I bought is nubuck leather, so it’s super soft while still strong and durable. It fits a ton without getting unmanageable or misshapen.

Kanken Mini Backpack, Fjällräven

What could be cuter? I still haven’t exactly figured out how to incorporate this into frequent use, but I imagine that it will come in very handy next time I travel.

Riverdale Small Crossbody, Kelly Moore Bag

This is actually up for sale on my Poshmark just because I don’t have a need for it, but it’s such a cute little bag. It’s shockingly roomy, and the inside is padded to protect your devices (it’s designed as a camera bag.

Jet Set Large Crossbody, Michael Kors

I actually ended up selling this bag, which I have mixed feelings about. It was truly so, so cute. My only complaint was that the leather was very rigid, so it was tough fitting things into the bag while retaining it’s sleek rectangular shape. When I carried this, I got endless compliments. If you can find one on sale, snag it!

Leo Clutch, Rebecca Minkoff

This seems like one I wouldn’t like, since it’s super thing without a lot of stretch, but I’ve actually used this clutch a ton of time with great results. I bought it for a wedding years ago, and I still pull it out for special occasions or evenings out. Mine’s in a black floral pattern so it straddles the line between pretty and edgy. The winning feature of this bag is that it has card slots, so no need to carry a wallet.

Leave ‘Em

Simple Half-Moon Crossbody, Madewell

This bag is so cute and I’m keeping it, but it’s very thin, meaning you can barely fit your keys in it.

Le Pliage Nylon Tote Bag (Small), Longchamp

I bought this bag to carry on my trip to England and I honestly didn’t love it! The no-compartments thing, for whatever reasons, works better on a large travel bag, where constantly grabbing necessities (like your money, which you then have to rustle through because you’re not familiar with the currency), isn’t as important moment-to-moment. Because the Longchamp bags are so roomy, I ended up carrying everything all of the time because I had the space. Ultimately, I switched this bag out for a £30 backpack from TopShop (in Windsor where the queen lives, no big deal), because it was just way too heavy on my shoulder.

Ella Tote, Tory Burch

I wanted to love this bag so much. Every few months, I take it out for a couple of days, hoping I will change my mind. But alas, it’s just not a practical bag. It’s enormous, which I actually like, but it has no compartments and an almost accordion-like structure that just gets bigger and bigger the more stuff you, well, stuff in it. It doesn’t really stay closed (nor do the side snaps) and the straps are really rigid, making it really uncomfortable to carry. If you need a really disorganized suitcase, this is the bag for you. I bought it at a discount when I worked retail and I truly did love the status symbol, but ultimately it wasn’t right for me. I sold it within an hour of putting it up on Poshmark, and I made back a good percentage of what I spent.

Wishlist

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You didn’t think I was going to end a handbag post without a little window shopping, did you?

The Abroad Shoulder Bag, Madewell

The perfect size for a crossbody.

Harper Crossbody Bag, J. Crew

I know for a fact that this would be so impractical, but it’s soooo cute.

Darren Shoulder Bag, Rebecca Minkoff

This looks like such a great size! I love things that are divided by compartment!

Full STEM Ahead Bag, Modcloth

I’ve been lusting over this bag for months. It’s not as high-quality as I usually aim for, but it’s so freaking cute. I have a weakness for yellow.

Shout Out Sunday 4.28.19

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Welcome to another installment of Shout Out Sunday, where I yell at you about pop culture and retail! We’ll get right to it this week—no need for a big preamble.

IMG_0559.JPG
long beach—100% where i wish i were right now
  1. Now that I’ve finally caught up with Game of Thrones (bracing myself for tonight’s episode), I finally start watching Gay of Thrones!
  2. I’m almost done with the Neapolitan novels and I’m legitimately considering starting a podcast about them with my best friend. Stay tuned.
  3. So, it appears that I have a patch of fucking psoriasis (it runs in my family, it was only a matter of time), so I’ve been using this and hopefully it helps a bit!
  4. So, apparently there’s a coffee shop down the street from my house that I didn’t even know about! And a juicery! I guess the town next to mine (not mine) is actually hip!
  5. This song is playing at the coffee shop right now and I forgot how much I love it. I first heard it during Emily & Richard’s vow renewal on Gilmore Girls and I’ve been obsessed ever since!
  6. Borrowed Padma Lakshmi’s Love, Loss, and What We Ate on audiobook from my local library (via the Libby app!) and I can’t wait to listen to it and Padma’s super soothing voice!
  7. Finally tried the Garden Grille in Pawtucket and I’m obsessed! One of the best meals I’ve had in recent memory.
  8. Taylor Swift put out a song with Panic! At the Disco and I truly can’t tell how I feel about it!
  9. Should I cave and finally buy AirPods? I fucking hate headphone wires but I also hate spending $160 on something I don’t technically need. Discuss.
  10. Ali Wong and Randall Park is going to be in a movie together and fucking thank god.
  11. Speaking of Netflix, I started watching Bonding and I’m not sure how to feel about that, either! I’m not sure 15 minutes is enough of an episode for me, but I’ll stick it out to the bitter end. I am…really mad that I never thought to get into that line of work to pay for school.

Oh, and P.S. I broke down and bought the Allbirds. Will report back.

Why do I want to buy expensive sneakers?

Chelsea HarperLeave a comment

Here’s the tea: I never wear sneakers. I have a few really cute pairs that run the gamut from Converse, to athletic Reeboks, to slide-on TOMS, to throwback ’80s high-tops (Call Me By Your Name-style), but I never, ever put them on my feet for any reason. Well, there are a couple of reasons. One is that I work in a business-casual office, so sneakers aren’t really appropriate for daily dress. Second, I hate socks. They are an ugly item of clothing and don’t try to convince me otherwise! The third reason is that I’m a damn coward who refuses to incorporate sneakers into her more polished looks.

callmebyyourname7
*”love my way” by the psychedelic furs plays*

I feel like dresses with sneakers has been canon for a while, but I always feel terribly frumpy when I try it. Also, I have monster feet (size 10, baby), so where a normal human woman would look adorable with her lil’ Barbie feet in a pair of Stan Smiths, I look like either a clown or a pro basketball player.

So why, since I do not even wear the sneakers I already have, do I want to buy an expensive-ass pair of sneakers right now?

Screen Shot 2019-04-27 at 9.03.47 AM.png
“comfort that comes naturally”

I’m a goddamn sucker for marketing, that’s why. Allbirds has been trying to weasel its way into my life for years—the occasional postcard in the mail, sponsored posts on favorite blogs. My favorite journalist/Twitter person Amanda Mull just put out a piece about them for The Atlantic. But now Everlane has introduced a sneaker. Everlane, the brand I love so dearly, whose judgment I trust in all things.

Screen Shot 2019-04-27 at 9.04.46 AM.png

I mean, at least the Allbirds shoes are cute. The Everlane kicks look like nurse shoes, like orthopedics. And yet, I look at them convincing myself—These could be cute on. They come in pink, Chelsea. Ugly things are cute in fashion—don’t you remember the entire ’90s? (For reference, see the Wild Fable section of Target or Urban Outfitters in general)

At $95 and $98, respectively, the price point is, in my opinion, reasonable. Having worked in off-price retail, I know that sneakers are expensive af, and you pay for quality. Both of these shoes are sustainably made, which is something every one of us should consider as we purchase clothing. The fashion industry is one of the most environmentally destructive forces on earth, and we should celebrate transparent companies whose mission is to reduce waste.

So I’m not deterred by the price or the product—I’m deterred by me, the person who, for so long, has wanted to get into sneakers but keeps failing. The person who wears sandals in 55 degree weather because it’s so much easier than sitting down and lacing up shoes. But in the back of my mind, I hear the warnings: Wear sensible shoes, girl. You’re young now, but if you don’t take care of your feet while you’re young, you’ll have a whole host of back problems later on. You may need to see a chiropractor or—gasp!—a podiatrist. Can I become the type of person who prioritizes function over fashion, sensibility over style?

I’ll inevitably end up with both of these shoes. I know myself. I’ve been so good about not spending money this year that I can justify the price points. I guess I’ll let you know how my sneaker odyssey goes. Maybe 28 will be the year I finally start taking care of my barking dogs.

anigif_enhanced-1606-1426878083-2