RIP to the campaign of the greatest of all time. Bernie has shown up for this country time and time again, and I know he’ll keep showing up for its ungrateful ass until he draws his last breath. I’m so proud I got to vote for this man—so many people were denied that opportunity by our truly psychotic and unjust “democratic” primary system.
On a less soul-crushingly depressing note, chag Pesach sameach to all those who are observing! It’s so tough being isolated during a holiday season (although I only begrudgingly celebrate Easter because my mother-in-law is a great cook and she pops off for the holidays). And before you yell at me, we have a very small circle (just me, my husband, and his parents) that still sees each other. We are taking precautions to keep each other safe. I’m literally cut off from my entire family and all my friends so do not come for me.
That got kind of serious but, I think it’s just a sign of the times. As Bowen Yang eloquently put it on Las Culturistas, we’re living in a coronavirus monoculture. Everything we do and say is affected by its presence, even this frivolous weekly round-up post.
Where are we getting our grocery deliveries from? I’ve actually still been going to the store, as infrequently as possible, but it seems prudent to take more precaution. I know Instacart was striking, so I don’t want to be a scab, but also my grocery store is partnered with Instacart specifically. Unfortunately, I live *just* far enough away from Boston (literally 23 miles from Fenway Park), so Imperfect Foods doesn’t deliver to my zip, and other options are pretty limited.
I’m pretty decent at doing at-home nails, but since we may never be able to get manicures again, should I get this? I’m very intrigued…
I cannot stress enough how much you need to be playing the Spelling Bee game. It is my lodestar in these dark times. A true pleasure! Do I only play educational/education-adjacent games? Yes! Should you pity my future children? Definitely!
Amazon Classics (if you’re a piece-of-shit, neolib, corporate shill like me who still uses Amazon) has a bunch of Kindle books for free right now. All of the classics! 1984, Jane Eyre, Little Women, you name it! Some of them are available just to borrow, but some can be purchased for $0.00, so they’re all yours! I went nuts…I guess this means I have to buck up and start reading proper literature instead of Reese Witherspoon’s book club picks.
This tweet is very specific to my interests, but it filled me with joy in a pandemic, so I had to share it.
May Designs is making the cutest face masks! I’m so glad to see so many companies stepping up and using their resources to encourage people to wear masks. Masks protect other people from you!
John Prine passed away this week from COVID. I wasn’t personally very familiar with his oeuvre, but he inspired so many of the artists I love. His impact was immeasurable and he will be missed. Marc Maron reposted his 2016 interview, if you, like me, want to get to know him better. I asked my husband to recommend a John Prine song I’d like…I had no idea he wrote this. It’s a perfect song.
My queens and idols Clea & Joanna of The Home Edit have graciously provided us with “mini edits” throughout quarantine—small one-day organizing projects to help us optimize our homes during this, well, sub-optimal time. Full disclosure, I will absolutely be ripping a few of their ideas off, but this particular mini edit is tailored very specifically to a certain kind of home: one that is already organized but seeking to minimalize. I’m so inspired by minimalist homes, but no matter how much I sell/donate, I never seem to be able to get all the way there. I’m, I guess you’d say, a maximalist clutter queen trying to become a Scandinavian ascetic.
If you are already tidy, but want to take it to the next level, here is my *very Barenaked Ladies voice* One Week Organizing Challenge!
Refresh the Refrigerator*
Be honest—when is the last time you actually cleaned your refrigerator? Like, took everything out and cleaned it? I’m a tidy gal, but I must admit that I’ve done this maybe…twice? I’ve had my fridge for like 4 years. There are plenty of great resources online to set you on your path. Jolie Kerr wrote thedefinitive guide to deep-cleaning your fridge, but here are my tips:
Take every single item out.
Wash your bins with soap and water, wipe down any shelves you can’t remove.
Check expiration dates. Expiration dates are mostly a scam, and have more to do with corporate liability than health hazard, but some things really should be tossed on schedule. Your miso paste is probably fine, but the sour cream has got to go.
Organize all of the food/bev into categories. Put them back in the proper place, i.e. vegetables in the crisper, cheese in the drawer, etc. It’s easy to get lazy and just throw things in there, but maintaining an organizational system not only makes cooking & eating easier, but saves you time at the grocery store, since you always know what you have. I can’t recommend fridge bins enough. Target’s are great and really cost-effective. If you want to splurge, definitely hit up The Home Edit’s line at the Container Store.
Now, repeat the whole thing with all of your cabinets and drawers. Be ruthless.
Pare Down the Paper*
You don’t need your tax returns from 7 years ago. Off to the shredder! Keep a shoebox handy for sentimental items like Christmas cards and recycle everything else. Basically, all you should keep is tax paperwork from the past 3 years (just in case), identity documents (birth cert, SSN card), things relevant to your current health insurance, and receipts if you itemize. Or, honestly, just digitize everything.
Itemize Your Inbox*
Emails cause some people a lot of stress, and for good reason! They’re omnipresent—they bombard us at work all day, and then in our personal lives they’re receipts, coupons, bank statements, tracking info, personal correspondence, and politics. It’s a lot to take in. My first suggestion is to use a service like unroll.me to unsubscribe from or hide unwanted emails. Next, create broad categories with sub-labels to help organize what’s already there. Soon you’ll be living an Inbox Zero Lifestyle! Here’s an example of ideas for a Gmail side menu:
Inbox
Career
Current Workplace
Former Workplace(s)
Education
Student Loans
Alumni
Finance
Bills
Car/Car Insurance
Utilities
Credit Cards
Taxes
Personal
Causes
Family & Friends
Media
Newsletters
Misc.
Tickets & Travel
Wellness
Receipts
Fashion
Living
Misc.
Go through and delete anything older than 2 years, except tax/loan documentation and personal correspondence. Flag anything interesting that you haven’t gotten a chance to read. Take a deep breath and embrace freedom.
Sift through Your Shoe Collection*
“You’re never going to wear the yellow flatforms, Chelsea,” and other things footwear hoarders say. Truthfully, I feel like all femme-identified folx only need a pair each of the following shoes:
Athletic sneakers
“Fashion” sneakers
Black pumps
Black flats
A “work” heel
Riding boots (suitably waterproof for winter)
Chelsea boots or booties
Leather sandals (for everyday summer wear)
Flip-flops (for the beach or pedicures)
When you purge, make sure you don’t overdo it and get rid of something functional #fortheaesthetic. But don’t get rid of your “fun shoes” either! You’re allowed to have a ton of fun shoes, just make sure you have sensible (preferably hidden) storage. I use this at my house and it fits…most of my shoes. It’s a great price and it looks really stylish. It also comes in a bench version, which I also have (for my husband’s shoes), which could be used as a TV stand as well.
Clean Up Your Carpets*
Do you have a pet? Or even just long hair that sheds? Your carpets/rugs are probably disgusting. No matter how much you vacuum, you can’t make up for the fact that rugs literally live on the floor. And vacuums can only do so much. Unless you’re a billionaire and can afford one of those fancy pet Dysons (please buy me one), a vacuum can only do so much. And every rug has different cleaning instructions (for instance, jute can’t be cleaned with water). Figure out what your rug is made of, Google deep-cleaning instructions, and go to town. You will be shocked at what comes up. This is especially important if you or a loved one has allergies!
Tackle Your Toiletries*
Your bathroom cabinets, drawers, or closet can be a breeding ground for clutter and chaos. Somehow, you can run out of bar soap while simultaneously owning 14 travel-sized tubes of toothpaste. I guarantee you have tubes of lipstick that should definitely be discarded. Getting a handle on your bathroom storage makes life a thousand times easier. This is a great guide to getting started! And since bathrooms are the least fun area to clean, less clutter means less surface area to wipe down—it’s a win-win!
Rehome Your Reading Material
I am a huge book-lover, and I would never go so far as to propose, à la Marie Kondo, that one should only own 30 books, but you probably don’t need all of the books you have. I actually wrote a post about this a few years ago and I absolutely stand by what I said. The beat up copy of Catcher in the Rye from freshman year of high school that you’ll never read again is just taking up space (if, like me, you probably will read that book again, treat yourself to a nicer copy and ditch the public school standard issue). You don’t need to own Faulkner’s entire bibliography; Toni Morrison was influenced by him, and her books are way more enjoyable. If you read her, you get the point.
Bonus Points:
Cut Down Your Closet
Another tricky one. People get very sentimental about clothes. I tend to go scorched earth on my closet every few years and then regret getting rid of that oversized Banana Republic sweater or that too-small Anthropologie jumpsuit that I will definitely fit into again someday. I think Marie Kondo speaks on this subject far more eloquently than I possibly can, so suffice it to say that you truly do not need all of those clothes you never wear. Go through everything, make a donate pile (or resell them on Poshmark!) and enjoy your simplified wardrobe!
ROYGBIV Refresh*
Nothing makes a space visually interesting like color coordination. Organizing your bookshelf in rainbow order (or your dresser drawers, or closet, or literally everywhere in your home) is functional and fashionable. My favorite thing to color-coordinate is phone apps!
this is my actual iPhone right now (i live that zero-inbox, zero-notification life)
*I have actually accomplished all of these things very recently, so I know it’s not impossible!
Good morning, or afternoon, or whatever because time is meaningless in quarantine! I’ve now organized my home so thoroughly that I have run out of things to organize…onto purging. Overall, though, I seem to have mellowed this week. I’m leaning into stay-at-home life and continuing to be grateful that we have employment, stable shelter, and have not run out of toilet paper. Stay safe and well, my friends.
The Cut did the Lord’s work. And speaking of The Cut, this article crushed me.
*extremely Bernie Sanders voice* I am once again asking you to bear with me as I change the name of this series. I wrote a massive post yesterday so I’m just gonna yeet this one out into the world. Thanks for reading!
I’m officially in the acting-out-musicals stage of quarantine and right now it’s Evita (the Madonna/Banderas soundtrack). I literally injured my toe from dancing barefoot on hardwood, so, it’s getting serious. Also, not trying to brag but my “Buenos Aires” is top-notch (but it’s no Patti).
This song is a classic and I’ve listened to it so much that I somehow know the words despite not knowing Spanish.
I probably shouldn’t be ordering anything non-essential but this breadbox is so goddamned cute. I feel like, even when I don’t have any bread in the house (which is often), it’s such a good hack to keep your kitchen counters clear.
I really want to replace all of the knobs on my kitchen cabinets and these mf-ing pulls. Also, I just got the tentative okay from my landlord father-in-law to paint my cabinets white! A DREAM!
Should I watch Watchmen? My best friend keeps telling me I’d love it.
I’m growing out my hair right now to a goal length I can only refer to as “sister wife,” so please let me know which hair-growth snake oil I should buy. I have a massive backstock of Care/of vitamins (I never remember to take vitamins) and I wash my hair twice a week, but apart from that I’m not really doing much other than dustings every 10-ish weeks.
Now that Everlane’s out, where the hell do I shop? Thinking about checking out Pact. They seem pretty affordable!
P.S. I’m not going to watch Tiger King so literally don’t even ask.
Well, the entire world is on fire, and not for the usual reasons. Things are hideously bleak at present and, apart from sewing some masks and making some donations, there’s literally nothing we can do about it except stay at home and not touch our faces. We’re kind of living in Station Eleven, and yes, that is the justification I will eventually use for performing Shakespearean monologues on Instagram stories.
My family and I are doing really well, and as yet, no one we know has been affected by COVID-19. I’m so fortunate to still be able to work remotely (I love my job and wish I could gush about it but I would like to keep it private so that I can, y’know, keep it). My husband is also able to work from home, which we didn’t initially know would be an option, so we’re really thankful.
I’ve been making an effort to shower and get dressed every day, to preserve a sense of normalcy, even if the shower doesn’t come until 3pm. Everyone keeps posting about snacking all day long, but I’ve actually been having the opposite problem: I keep completely forgetting food exists. We’re not panic-buyers, but our fridge and freezer are STOCKED with healthy stuff (we also have an adequate amount of toilet paper—Trader Joe’s has it!) I’m hoping that my reduced calorie intake counteracts my absolute lack of any physical activity whatsoever. I actually danced last night for over an hour (if you’re a millennial, I highly recommend throwing this song on and going absolutely buckwild). I’m trying to use this time to improve my home (I ROYGBIV’d my bookcase) and myself (I’m crushing DuoLingo French checkpoints like a frat boy crushes p—I’m sorry, this is a family blog). As of yet, I have not done anything fucked up to my hair, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
this pano looks really odd, but there’s a support pillar in front of my bookcase so, oh well.
Before I get into my usual frivolity, I just want to say that, if you’re like me and you’re still earning an income, do whatever you can to support your community. I made a donation to my local food bank, and I’m looking for other ways to lend a hand during this crisis. One positive outcome of this might be the increasing radicalization of society, proof that nothing ethical can exist under capitalism. Comrades Fran & Britney certainly seem to agree! But in the meantime, schedule Zoom happy hours, get into that book you’ve been meaning to read, organize your bathroom cabinets, take your meds, and remember to eat your fruits and veggies. I think we’re going to be in here for a long, long time.
I love and miss you all. If the worst happens, please play this at my funeral, and make sure David Hyde Pierce is on the keys.
La Musique
Gaga’s “Stupid Love” is the best thing she’s put out since “Applause,” don’t @ me.
Can’t wait to go absolutely HYPEBEAST for Self Made, starring ACADEMY AWARD WINNER OCTAVIA SPENCER.
I read the book years ago, but I finally watched Room and oh my GOD. Brie Larson WERKED for that Oscar, honey. Also, Jacob Tremblay is a star the likes of which this world rarely sees and I simply have to stan.
My queen and idol, Julie Klausner, put out a new How Was Your Week? AND announced a new podcast with Tom Scharpling, Double Threat. A mitzvah in these dark times!
Should I just cave and become a Punch Up the Jam patron? I’ve easily listened to over 50 episodes at this point. My husband and I both lost it for several minutes yesterday during the bridge of the “Freak on a Leash” episode.
Les Romans
I bought the audiobook of Cameron Esposito’s Save Yourself. Cameron is one of my favorite comedians and I daily mourn the loss of Put Your Hands Together.
I’m trying to read Silas Marner along with my tutoring student and wow, only 18 months out from earning a literal Master’s degree in Literature and my brain has atrophied to Jello. I’m going to try to make a concerted effort to get through some classics in quarantine. I’m thinking Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, and Brideshead Revisited, since I already own them.
La Mode
So, Everlane is canceled. They vindictively laid off their newly-formed union of remote workers and uh, wow, fuck you, guys.
If I find out this company SUCKS too, I’ll return them, but I am trying out these pants because it appears that no company (including Everlane) makes dress-pants for what I’m generously calling my hourglass shape. Also, of course they went on sale after I bought them. Will report back on fit for my thicc chicks ❤
Also, I have bought myself another handbag, and I need to stop, but just so you know, I keep them forever and display them when not in use because they are my precious babies. Also, handbags have way better resale value than most stuff online, just sayin’. Here’s another recent purchase that’s a particular fave, and the best computer bag ever.
I found an Etsy shop I love! I got these belly rings (1, 2) and these conch studs (1, 2). Unfortunately, I’m an idiot and forgot that my belly piercing is 14g, so I might try to exchange but these things are seriously gorgeous.
Chez Moi
I’m reorganizing my house, call it early Spring Cleaning, and this shelf is going above my kitchen counter. It’s so cute and perfect for me that I can’t believe I didn’t personally design it.
I’m a huge, huge fan of Method‘s cleaning products, but their Heavy Duty Degreaser is an absolute lifesaver. I am not about to use conventional cleaning chemicals on my stovetop, a surface that a. is exposed to fire and b. is where I prepare our food, so finding this more natural alternative that really works was a gamechanger. I buy mine at Target or Grove.
Chelseas can have a little home improvement, as a treat. Since Governor Baker basically shut down Massachusetts (I’m not complaining!) I have purchased this chair and this rug. Soon my entire house will be monochrome pink and I’m not mad about it.
Le Mélange
If you’re not following nostro re, persona di colore dell’esperienza italiana, Giabuchi, you are not truly living in these times. Considering what’s going on with coronavirus worldwide, especially in Italy right now, Jaboukie’s mild Italian shitposting is tremendously healing. Catch him before he gets suspended again for heroism.
I loved this post about creating a reusable on-the-go car kit. When we’re finally out of quarantine, I really want to make a more concerted effort to be no-waste. Not being able to use reusable bags at the grocery store right now is killing me. P.S. The cutlery set Laura mentions? It comes in pink.
Discovered this shop last night and I’m intrigued to say the least.
Good morning, friends! I’ve been on staycation for the past week, and I have to say: time off is extremely good for mental health! On Friday, I took a tour of the Rhode Island State House. Random, but it was super fun! Doris, the tour guide, was an absolute treat!
It’s been so nice to relax and reset before I start my new job. I feel like an entirely new person. And with the renewed energy of a calm and centered woman, here’s this week’s list!
Breaking news: Daniel M. Lavery‘s essay collection, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, is officially out! I pre-ordered because I’m a full stan. I made an Instagram story about it when I received it and DANNY FUCKING DM’D ME. I have photographic evidence!
I am sobbing re: Wes Anderson’s new film, The French Dispatch. July can’t come soon enough.
There’s a High Fidelity reboot series starring Zoë Kravitz on Hulu and I cannot wait to binge the shit out of it.
Started watching the Australian Netflix series, Sisters. I’m loving it so far—the premise is dark, but the show is so vibrant!
I am obsessed with Universal Standard, and I truly wish I were a millionaire so I could bedeck myself in all of their wares.
Should I get an Instant Pot? I already have so, so many kitchen appliances but people seem to love them! A huge consideration, of course, is that it comes in this color. Extremely into the idea of making my own yogurt!
As you know, I’m a full-on ho for podcast endorsements, so I’m looking forward to checking out Thrive Causemetics! I actually have one of their products already (I got it in a subscription box) and I love it!
I never wear sneakers but I have the soul of a sneakerhead. I keep getting targeted ads for Nothing New, and I truly wonder how long it will take me to break.
Against my better judgment, I’m absolutely buying this dish set. It’s finally time to donate the Ikea set that I’ve been rocking for 6 years and get some grown-up dishes. They’re not microwave-safe so it’s all the more reason to ditch that appliance!
Last week was rushed and short so this will be a mega-post! Or should I say a “Mega Thee Stallion” post? A lot of cool shit is going on this week, or in some cases, has been going on for ages and my dumb ass is just discovering it! Without further ado, let’s get into it!
Also, Brittany Freaking Howard put out a solo album!
I’m going to a quinceañera today and I’m wearing this dress.
100% making this bag. I already have the supplies in my Amazon cart.
I started listening to the Reply Guys podcast and Julia & Kate are a joy! Everyone needs more feminist, leftist talk in their lives. I also finally started listening to Las Culturistas (I run a Bowen Yang Stan Household) and it has quickly become my favorite podcast. Also, CONGRATS to Bowen on joining the cast of SNL!
I’m tutoring “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” today and, honestly, when’s the last time you read a late medieval poem? Get on that.
It’s Bi Visibility Day/Week/Month (depending on your source) and it’s really, really important. Here’s some reading material to get you prepped! (Also, I’ve been wearing this necklace a little bit extra lately…)
You know I’m buying this amazing book. And this one, of course. Should I start posting book reviews again?
Scrunchies are back, baby! What does it all mean? That scene from Sex and the City (referenced in the article) has been ringing in my ears for the better part of 20 years, but I absolutely love how scrunchies look.
Someone PLEASE get me these boots. Also, Everlane has a new bra out? Must have it.
Just discovered these bags and I’m obsessed. Best part? They’re vegan.
Would you ever get a lash lift? I have short, stubby eyelashes and I literally cannot put on falsies—I wore them once, at my wedding, and someone else applied them. I absolutely love the look—I go big on mascara every day. I’ve wanted to get extensions for ages but this seems like a good in-between? My mother got me some Lash Boost (I assume she got a good deal because holy mother of expensive!), so I’ll start using that before I get into salon treatments.
I’m thinking of checking out this tattoo shop for my next piece. Now to decide what to get…too many ideas, too little available skin!
Started watching The Bisexual on Hulu and I’m really liking it! Apparently 6-episode series from the UK are my entire jam. I’m glad it’s calling attention to biphobia which is fucking
Good morning! I technically have a long weekend this since I took Monday off to take the MTEL, so happy 2nd Saturday to me! I’ve been reading up a storm lately and I’ve had a country song in my head, so that’s the de facto theme of this week’s round-up. Mercury is in retrograde AF—can you tell? I’ve been super lethargic and uninspired…I’m hoping the cosmos can get its act together soon and end this tyranny.
Enjoy!
look at my cute cat!!!
Please bring some joy into your life and read Kevin Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians trilogy. My fingers are crossed that he’s writing another because I truly cannot get enough.
Good morning, friends! I hope you all only had to work 3 days last week. Even though the 4th of July is a really complicated holiday from a social justice perspective, I had the privilege of a great day by the pool and somehow managed to only get a sunburn on my shins. I can sense a major case of the Sunday Scaries coming on…how do I go back to work after 4 days off? What is a desk? All I want to do is lay around reading and eating Mexican food…is that such a big ask?
Enjoy this week’s round-up!
my fourth of july look was leopard & crystals because i am a sentient glass of chardonnay
I took the MTEL on Friday (the Massachusetts Test for Educator Licensure) and even though I have no clue whether I passed, the test did remind me that I’m obsessed with Toni Morrison. One of the passages I had to write about was from Song of Solomon, which I actually haven’t read, so I’m putting it on the reading list immediately! Not to brag, but I do own a signed copy of Beloved *flips hair*
The NYTimes tried to answer the age-old debate between iced coffee and cold brew, but they forgot one very important detail—cold brew is just tastier.
Halle Bailey has been cast as The Little Mermaid in Disney’s upcoming live-action flick, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier that they didn’t just shove some white girl in a red wig for verisimilitude to a cartoon based on a Danish horror story. If you haven’t heard Chloe X Halle, give them a listen!
Rob Sheffield, one of my favorite writers and (fun fact) the brother of my high school chemistry teacher, wrote a great review of the new Beatles movie, Yesterday. I’m still going to see it, but I’m going into it with a critical eye.
LOFT sale is an extra 60% off until Tuesday. I went yesterday and got three pieces for $20—it felt like stealing. I may or may not have just gotten a ton more stuff from the website…I love LOFT for my work wardrobe!
I went up to Salem, MA last weekend and fell in love with all of the amazing shops up there. Hauswitch was one of my faves…give me all the crystals, please! I also loved Modern Millie—I wish I could wear a vintage dress every day!
Tried the Yellow Door Taqueria in Lower Mills (Milton-Dorchester line) and it was bomb. My friend even made me taste duck! If you’re in the Boston area check ’em out!
Tunes of the Week:
The girl 2 cubicles over plays the radio at work, so as a result, I have had “GIRL” by Maren Morris stuck in my head for ~a month.
Della Bites 